I need to vent
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| Tue, 09-04-2007 - 8:59am |
I am feeling just low this morning.. I love this board being active and supportive.. So I decide to stay here and vent even if I am not a single mom..hope none of you have anything against that..
okay now only last day I posted to Rebecca about my 40 something guy I am dating.. Some one else mentioned they don't have patience for 40 something guy who has been single for ever.. I can see what they mean..
Being with my guy I can see why he has been single for ever.. I was so attracted to him that I HAD to date him... Anyways.. I have always felt that he has slower pace or takes longer time to get motivated..(only in certain things..) .. In this case it is about making a document ( work related..). He takes 4 times more time than anyone to document something.. because he wants it perfect ( I am guessing)..or he is just slow..
We had a great 3 day weekend..( for most part). Actually he said he will finish this by this weekend..of course we ended up spending a lots of time together and only yesterday he started working back on it.. I am amazed by how his pace is in doing this ( v slow .. for me)..
Okay another issue is we have been looking for houses to buy ( for him). He didn't even make a list of fovorites.. In fact I made one for him.. Last night our realtor asked if we wanted to go to see some.. I e-mailed back to her with the list.. He had few houses in his mind-- but didn't make a long list like me.. I know he would just see 3 or 4 and may be buy one or just slow down and continue in rental ..( he said he really wants to get out of his rental place before winter). I tried to help him out by looking and making a list
later in the night I kind of was having a feeling down thinking about how his pace is and how he does things.. I was more enthusiastic in looking and making a list of houses for him than he was..How can he spend his $ without fully exploring all the avaiilable houses? I have posted this issue before here.. but last night I was feeling more..
I don't want to break up just for this.. because he is wonderful to me in every way.. and fact is he spends lots of time with me or for me which is also slowing down his other things..But even last night he was like..do you want to see a movie.. I said no you still haven't finished that document.. This document he doesn't need urgently, but has to use it to apply for a job... He does things at job at a fast pace.. So looks like he needs deadlines or something to actually get motivated. Also seems like he will put anything behind just to be able to spend time with me ( should I be happy?)
aaarggh.. I think may be we need to take a small break.. I kind of feel like I am loosing patience at times.. But on the other hand I feel may be I should let him do things at his pace.. may be that works better for him.. But I am not sure if this kind of mismatch will be an issue when we have common things or even raising kids.. any opinions? Apart from this literally I cant complain anything about him..
Thanks for letting me vent.

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Hi Rebecca, Thanks for your story.. I have decided to just tell things once.. and see how he follows up. I got a clear message from him that he works better without pressure.
So I will no more stress about what he does. I will give inputs and suggestions and not repeat.. Will wait and see what the results are- I am planning to give till november ( may be thanks giving..) I have certain things in mind that he should have done by then , if he actually considers changing or moving on to next stage in his life.. so no more pressure - just suggestions for him.
Thanks again.. I dont want to change him.. I like the way he is.. I am just afraid he will miss opportunities - but if he can manage without that happening I am fine.
He was renting so long since he was always thinking that he may change job- so will wait and see.
"BTW jazz, what are you doing to find guys the kind of ones you might like - or the ones that are more similar to you? I hope you haven't stopped looking."
I am serious and haven't been able to keep a person in my life for long. I have a tendency of running men off and I know it's because of my mouth ... too straight forward. My biggest problem, I have been single and in control for so long, that I don't have the tolerance or patience to deal with foolishness. And that's the type of men I have been meeting. They were either too arrogant, too childish, too needy, distant, want to play the field, still attached to the "umbilical cord", and/or just too darn broke and depressed. So, I'm OK with my status. Yes, I get lonely but overall I'm happy.
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