I think I forgot how to talk to men!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
I think I forgot how to talk to men!
4
Mon, 09-17-2012 - 9:38pm
So I'm a single mother and have decided that I think I'm ready to date. I have my eye on one guy in particular. He's mutual friends with a bunch of my friends, I've seen him out before, and recently saw him at his workplace..which is a resturaunt. But the problem is, he doesn't know me at all, and I don't know how to initiate any kind of contact. I tried getting a friend to help out, she won't. I basically have to go to the resturaunt and do ..what I don't know. Or I could send him a message on Facebook or something. I'm dumbfounded, but I really wanna get to know this guy. I literally feel like I've forgotten how to talk to men. I need some advice!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:41am

It's hardest to get up the nerve to talk to someone, but when you go to the restaurant, you just go up to him and say "Hi, aren't you Joe?  I'm Mary--we are both friends with Susan and I've seen you around but I know we haven't been introduced."  Hopefully that should start up the conversation--or if you know something about him, you could mention that (like an interest he has) or you could ask him what he recommends from the menu.  I'd do that instead of talking to him on FB, which he could ignore or get back to you days later--he can't ignore you if you are standing in front of him talking, and then you can gauge if he seems interested or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2007
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 12:03pm
Yea that does sound good! But you honestly just freaked me out bcuz his name really is Joe..lol..I thought one of my friends found me out and was messing with me, I'm still freaked out! But thank you for the very good advice :smileyhappy:
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-18-2012 - 10:43pm

Sorry about that--my grandfather, father & brother were all named Joe, so I guess it sticks in my mind.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2012
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 7:47pm

I heard that!  But I like a quote I heard in a movie once it really stuck with me...something to the effect of, "Listen, I only get bold about once every five years and today is the day", so I'm just gonna put this out there - do you want to get dinner sometime, somewhere other than here (meaning his work)...

BE BOLD GIRL!  nothing ventured, nothing gained!  You have nothing to lose.  I once asked a guy out who worked at my local pizza place (years and years ago!), but I went in for my usual, we flirted and Ieft and then when I got home, I called the pizza place and asked to speak with him, I said, "this is crazy I know but I was too chicken to ask you in person, but do you want to get together sometime? I mean, I think we'd have a great time..."  he declined my offer since he was actually engaged! huh! who knew!  but he did say, "oh, man, I wish I could but I don't think my fiance would like it very much..." he was totally cool about it. I still see him from time to time and we smile and he's super nice.  And you can bet yer butt if I ever get wind that he's single I'm gonna try again!  Good luck!  

Live fearlessly. thats my advice. this could be your only life.  make it count.