I Was Blindsighted
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| Fri, 11-18-2005 - 1:27am |
Well....30 minutes before I was supposed to go to class, I get a call from my lawyer. The judge changed the arrangement from this Friday to Thursday night. That means that my dd will be gone Thursday night until Sunday night. I was crushed! I wasn't prepared for a three nights away from my dd. I cried and cried and she knew something was wrong. She put her arms around me and said "it's o-tay mommy." Well...with that said, I had to buck up. I told her that she was going to stay with her daddy and have lots of fun. I said that she would see me in 3 sleeps and then she would be with mommy again. She just smiled and said "o-tay." I don't know if she understood or not, but I tried to make it a positive after my initial shock and cry.
I had my aunt take dd to the drop off point where my ex would be. I didn't think I would be able to stand to see her go. My aunt said that she was excited when she saw him, which made me feel better. I just miss her so terribly bad already. But I know that this whole thing will get better. Plus, I know my ex well enough....he will get tired of dd cramping his weekends and he will soon put a stop to all the visitation as much as he possibly can. He did it the last time, what's to stop him this time.
So, I am taking advantage of this little break. I went out with some friends from class and ate. We ended up at a local bar where one of the guys from class bartends. I danced a little with him and had some long overdue fun. I didn't drink though - which I am very proud of! The guy asked for my number and I gave it to him. He's really very sweet; just someone to hang out with for a while - nothing serious. He asked me to come by tomorrow and see him/talk to him. So, I guess some buddies and me will go there tomorrow evening for a while. **This guy is NOT married**
The only bad thing that happened while we were there is ex's gf and sister came in. They mouthed off a little, but I let it slide. I didn't want to stoop to their level...it's just not worth it. I almost said something back during one of the last rude remarks, but then I just turned around and walked away. I'm better than they are...and I am going to be the bigger person. I'm going to be a good example for my dd! In the long run she'll see who these people truly are.
So, all I can do for 3 nights is keep myself busy. I'm going job hunting tomorrow morning, going to fix up my dd's room and mine as well, and going to go see the guy from class tomorrow evening. I'll probably go to the movies with my niece Saturday night, and before I know it my dd will be back home with me safe and sound!
I just have to keep trying to be positive! Keep me and dd in your thoughts and prayers!
Kait

Kait,
You know your ex is just trying to hurt you and he will tire of having to take care of dd and he will change the visitation.
You handled it beautifully.
I agree with what First says - good decision about the aunt.
Now it is time for you to become you again. Use the time without your daughter wisely. And yes, in a week or two when he sees that you don't mind giving him time with DD then he will probably start to pick up late and slack on the time he spends with her since he has done that in the past.
Let us know what you do without DD!!