If it's been a while, give us an UPDATE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
If it's been a while, give us an UPDATE!
30
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 12:19pm
In the spirit of this board being a welcoming, positive environment for all, I'm going to give this a try. If you haven't been posting, YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY MISSED - so let us know how you are! Married, dating, engaged, or none of the above, we want to know the good, the bad and everything in between.

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 7:05pm

Hi sweetie. I wrote this on another board today, but it's my update and added some from my happenings tonight. I'm very raw around the edges at the moment. The last two weeks have been very trying and testing me....
All of these changes in my life are just so heavy on me right now. I don't know why that is. It's like my life is totally changing from what it was like. I can deal with little changes, but it's been so drastic lately. As we write, my house has been without heat for one week and the children are very very sick with the flu and high fever 101/102 since Friday. I tried to take them to the Doctor, but the attempt was a major flop. Two hour wait and the girls couldn't sit that long, so I let them go back to bed and my mom took over while I went into an important conference today, that lasted until an hour ago. It's past 1am here now. Still wired. ARGH! Anyway, can't get the heater fixed because the boiler is ruined, so it needs a new boiler but my landlord went on vacation and we don't know where or when he will be back, he never told us he was leaving and we have no emergency numbers nothing. Could be next week, could be next month. No idea and because it's so expensive they can't go over his head without his permission. So no HEAT. The whole back of my house is made of glass. GREAT! and it's snowing and it's minus temperatures. It's miserable and so am I. Tonight I finally scrounged together some heaters from work for the feet, just to warm the house a little in the main rooms. Very pathetic attempt, but an attempt.

Like you know I am moving back, so definitly with that. But OMGosh! It is so hard doing this alone wiht the two kids and moving to another country again, even if it's mine.
Not dating or wanting a relationship anymore since months is another part of me changing, because I just want to get out of here and I just don't want to be involved with anyone here anymore. The only men in my life.I've just been keeping really busy, by writing the soldiers in Iraq that are in need of support. I sent 40 Valentines Cards to them, to let them know I care. LOL and that's enough. My mind has already gone, my body just has to move. The idea of moving is scaring the heck out of me. My family is so UNsupportive. It drives me nuts. And just moving back after 10yrs scares the living daylights out of me.

My X called to let me know last week, (same day the heater crashed) he got fired again. 4th time in 3yrs! Charming! That prepares me for no childsupport AGAIN!

Sooooooooooooooooooo, that's been my week. How's everyone else?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 7:11pm

Oh my gosh I am so sorry to hear you are going through that. No heat with children in the house? That has to be an unbearable situation! Plus no child support? That must be so hard to adjust to all of the sudden.

My dd has a stuffy nose and she was so tired when we got home tonight. We were home by 6pm and she was out by 6:30, she barely managed to eat anything but she looks so sweet asleep there on the couch. I am afraid to go look at the oil level becuase it was getting low a few weeks ago. I need to NOT have to refill the oil tank again this winter, last time it was $500. But I am not complaining, it's nothing compared to your situation. You would think your doctor would get your children in and not make them wait 2 hours if they are that sick. :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 9:04pm

Oh Catherine, that is a crappy week. What a craziness and outrageous frustration with the heater situation. Good thing you thought to put in a few heaters from work - good thinking - although I am sure that is not nearly enough for one of those German winters. I hope you get it fixed soon.

Try not to be too stressed about the move. You will take it one day at a time and I am sure everyone will come through when you are here. They will find you and the kids irresistable - they just don't want to commit to things now.

Do you have an estimated date? Have you had any more luck with monster.com or anything here in the US? The WSJ says that our economy is getting stronger now so that should help.

Everything will work out. Somehow everything is meant to be in the end. I think that a dating/relationship "fast" is good for you right now. You will be ready for a big beautiful handsome Texan prince when you arrive.

Take care of your beautiful angel girls - I hope they get better and that their fevers subside soon. We were sick last week - although nothing like that - it is sure horrible to have to waste so much time for nothing in a doctor's office.

Take good care of you, too. Don't get sick!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 9:15pm

I post here every day but thought I would bring an update since you asked and to help add more notes to our board :-)

Nothing is really new here. I am being mom, training, working, sleeping, eating and doing homework with ds. Not necessarily in that order. I am signed up for 3 really big races in the summer, including one in Denmark, so now is the time when my training schedule gets heavy and I am tired and trying to eat enough. I am also putting in a lot of time on my computer for work.

Ds is doing well and having fun. We really like his teacher this year and I have enjoyed helping her in the classroom once a week. The exh is traveling for work often and out of my hair. Life is simple, quiet, good. I welcome that now.

There are no dates on the horizon. But I am dressed well with a smile on my face and my eyes open. I must say, to my surprise, that I am not minding singledom. It is not that I would not mind being a part of a couple, either, I know I am ready for the right person for me.

I think you have to enjoy each day and what it brings and not concentrate on how you thought things should be or worry about the future - it always seems to bring something better than what I could even think of to ask for. I really appreciate all that I have and all that I have gotten to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 9:57pm

O.K, I post semi often.

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2002
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 10:25am
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Edited 2/18/2005 1:32 pm ET ET by mbfun
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 10:48am

I WANT YOUR BUNNY!!!!! I wish I could. She looks like a doll. But yeah, I can see where living with dogs BRED to hunt wouldn't be a great life for her. ;)


SO sorry about the fire/fumes. Did you get the house cleaned out? That can stink for a long LONG time. What a mess.


That POOR little boy w/the broken arm! I have heard of that happening to kids before. That a broken bone goes unnoticed for days. Poor baby. Hope he mends soon.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 12:17pm
Ummm... my bf used to have a large bunny that cuddled with him and knew her name. She died (lived a long life) and he replaced her with two cats (brother and sister) and two little bunnies (sisters). He loves cute cuddly animals, he has a very nurturing personality. One of the little bunnies died recently (not sure the cause of death) but now the other one is sisterless. The cats and bunnies get along great. The male cat tries to pretend he's the king of the house, but the bunnies can run up on him and spook him any time they feel like it. The bunnies aren't kept in a cage, they have the run of the downstairs (fairly small living/dining/kitchen area) and he has a baby gate to keep them in the kitchen if the front door is going to be open. Do you want me to ask him, or would you really rather find someone local? How much would it cost to ship a bunny to the east coast?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 1:42pm

I think your bunny rabbit is so adorable - I know you will find a great home for him. I have never heard of a rabbit coming when you call him!! That is really special. OMG I hope you love dogs because 3 labs is going to be a family unto itself!! Those are great dogs - although I know they wouldn't be good playmates for the bunny.

The cooking story is scary - thank goodness you didn't have a big fire!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 2:18pm

I haven't been posting much over the past two weeks because I've been very overwhelmed at work. Right now I'm on phones, so I can squeeze in an update.

Last Thursday, I had a big meeting at school for my daughter and my son, who are both struggling in school. Both teachers were there, the social worker and the special ed teacher. As for my daughter, that's a difficult situation. Her main weakness is reading. She has ADHD, but it is being controlled pretty well with medication. She tries hard, loves school and her teacher, and is not disruptive. She just has some block to reading. We discussed having her tested, because everyone believes there might be some kind of a disability there. This is how it was explained to me. If we test her now, the test at the second grade level will be read to her, and she is likely to pass it because she does well when someone reads to her, she just can read by herself. So, if she takes this test and passes it, she won't be able to be tested for another two years. But if we wait until next year to test her, at the 3rd grade level, the test won't be read to her, she's more likely not to pass it, then she will qualify for special services. I know it all sounds ridiculous, but they way they explained it, it made sense. She struggles, but she won't qualify for special services because she's not that bad. She has made progress during the school year, so we are just going to keep on doing what we have been doing. As for my son, the panel strongly suggested that I get him tested for ADD because he has a real focusing problem. So, that's what I agreed to do. I really like and respect everyone that is trying to help my kids. They are doing things for my kids, like help in the after-school program, that they don't do for anyone else. I think it's just a messed up system that we all have to work around. So, for the most part the meeting was good except for the fact that my exh was there. He acted like a complete a** -- truly. He blelw up at everyone, yelled, pounded his fist on the table, and talked for about 6 minutes about how the only thing wrong with his kids was their incompetent mother (no lie). I was so embarrassed, I wanted to crawl under the table. He contradicted everything I said, and everything the panel tried to say. The only good thing was that he ran out of gas. After his tyraid, we got the meeting underway, and the panel never really even addressed him after that. He messed his own self up. He showed his true colors, and he lost all his credibility. When the meeting was over and he left, I stayed behind to talk to the social worker. I didn't say a word to her, and she was giving me her blessings and apologies. She said, "You have to deal with that -- no wonder your kids don't want to see their dad." She had him pegged, and she was sure everyone else did. She told me that she wanted to make sure I was always at all the meetings so that they could deal with me and not him. I told her I couldn't keep him from the meetings, but that I would always be there. Stupid, Stupid man. Then he calls me later at home to argue some more with me. I hung up on him. I refuse to take that kind of abuse. I'm not married any more, I don't have to.

I took half a day off Valentines Day to be with my kids at school, and that was a big hit. Katie's teacher is so awesome. We were teaching the kids how to do the electric slide. What a riot!

Unfortunately, I took another half day off on Tuesday to go to a doctor's appointment. I've had too many days off all in a row, and that's why things are chaotic at work, but it could not be avoided. I had to go to my gyne for a cervical biopsy because I had an abnormal result on my last pap test. I don't know if anyone else has ever had one of those, but they are no fun. They hurt and I cramped really bad and spotted for two days afterwards. Today is the first day that I don't have severe cramps. I'll know the results next Tuesday. I refuse to think about it. I have a constant, daily reminder how something that's supposed to be no big deal turns into a big deal. 20 feet away from me at work sits my friend Gaby. She had the same thing happen to her that I did, an abnormal pap that was supposed to be no big deal. Two years later, she has an inoperable brain tumor and she's fighting for her life -- and she's only 27! So, I refuse to think about it -- good or bad. It's out of my hands in in God's hands.

Work SUCKS right now. Like I said, too much time off all in a row is not a good thing. I wasn't feeling good Wednesday (the day after the biopsy) but I came to work anyway. I listen to my voice mail, and there is a NASTY message from my office manager about something that I didn't do the day before (but I wasn't here). I lost it. I was so pissed off, I went into my boss and told him it would be easier if they just fired me instead of torturing me with all this pressure. I told him about the message. He left jhis office and came back a few minutes later with the person in charge of accounting. All this BS is over timesheets. I was told at my review that I had to enter them on a daily basis, and I have been. I got a bunch of timesheets from my young boss on Monday afternoon. I was only in 1/2 day Tuesday because of my appointment so it didn't get in the system. Nasty message came Wednesday morning. My office manager knew I was going to be off, I had to approve it with her, and she also knew I was going for a doctor's appointment (though she didn't know what kind -- which is none of her business). Anyway, I feel extremely stressed, harrassed and picked on. I got an apology from the accounting manager because she didn't know I was off. But no apology from the office manager. I told my boss that I feel that no matter what I do or how hard I work, it won't be good enough for the partner that has it in for me. There's more to this work story, but I'll tell you all about that later because I don't want to make this too long.

I posted a little bit about Mark in my response to what was the best/worst Valentines Day. Mark knew about my doctor's appointment on Tuesday. Although I don't think he really understands what I had done to me, he's trying very hard to be there for me. He called me 3 times that afternoon and evening to see how I was feeling. He called me Wednesday after my meltdown at work to see how I was feeling, and I told him briefly what happened. He called me two more times to try to make me laugh so I wouldn't take it all so seriously. He's been soo supportive. To me, that's worth more than any gift he could ever give me.

So, that's my update. I hope I can get more time to post so that when I do it's not decades long.LOL

Donna

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