If it's been a while, give us an UPDATE!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
If it's been a while, give us an UPDATE!
30
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 12:19pm
In the spirit of this board being a welcoming, positive environment for all, I'm going to give this a try. If you haven't been posting, YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY MISSED - so let us know how you are! Married, dating, engaged, or none of the above, we want to know the good, the bad and everything in between.

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Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 12:47pm

Hugs Donna! This does not sound like fun, but try not to worry too much. Like Mindy said, thank GOD you were good about getting to your appointments and any little thing will be taken care of early that it'll probably be a non issue.


We'll be thinking about you. Let us know how it goes!

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 1:36pm

Mindy and Becky:

Thanks for your support and positive thoughts. I had a vaginal delivery, and so did my sister; she has only one child, and I have just the twins. She's had a lot worse time than me. She had to have a hysterectomy because all the cryo's she had were not helping. I have a pretty high tolerance to pain because I can't take most pain medication because it makes me sick. I just didn't expect the cramping and bleeding part. My sister didn't tell me about it because it never was like that for her. So, now I know what to expect. Like I said, I just want to get it over with. And I know this is dumb, but I worry about what kind of issues I will face at work for taking more time off. I shouldn't have to worry about this, but unfortunately, I have to. But, my health and my kids are more important, and work will just have to deal. I'll keep you posted as to what happens.

Donna

Avatar for mandymi
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 10:47pm

Hello!


It's been quite some time since dropping off of this board....




http://somedaysijustworkhere.blogspot.com/">

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Mon, 02-21-2005 - 11:13pm

Mandy girl, MISSED YOU! I've wondered about you a lot.


Glad to hear things are going well and busy!


Great on the promotion. There is a big need for good people right now. A smart woman like you should be a great asset. Intel eh? WE might have an acquaintance in common. *wink*...


Email me, or I'll email you. I want all the details!


Great to hear from you


Candi

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 10:20am

So so SO good to hear from you!!! We've missed you and wondered what was going on.


First, SO glad to hear you resolved yourself one way or the other on Trav. (and frankly, considering it seemed you weren't happy with him, well...EVER, I am glad you are done with him)


Second, what on EARTH could a little guy, your ds's age be suspended for???? (if you don't mind my asking)


Hope you stick around. Schooling in VA huh? Sounds fun. But gosh, that's a long separation from your ds, seeing him only on weekends. How do you think you'll handle that?


Good luck with the new guy. When you say he's older....how MUCH older? (just curious)

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 11:53am


Hi all,
Yes it has been a while since I have update anybody so here goes. Things with the So are great and going smoothly. The job is great and still going well. But it is the kids that are going to drive me nuts. First off all my oldest daughter is going to have baby in July and that is making me heart sick for she is thinking she is going to keep it. My honey's oldest daughter got and engaged I am feeling a little jealous for SO and I have been together almost 3 years and he is not any closer I don't think. But I really excited for her and I love the man she is going to marry. Steve's son has moved in with a older woman who was a close friend of mine. I am sick about that and I prolly should not be he is 19 but I guess the way I was raised it just doesn't seem right to me but what do I know. My daughter is having baby so what kind of parent does that make me ... not sure anymore. The other 2 DD's are great youngest is living with my ex hubby, her dad and the middle one is getting ready for her 14th birthday next week. How do I stay positive with all this stress that I have going on. Feeling jealousy over prolly stupid stuff?

Lisa

lisa j romesburg

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 12:19pm

>>>My daughter is having baby so what kind of parent does that make me ... not sure anymore<<<

Your dd's mistakes don't reflect negatively on you. All kids make mistakes, some are just more obvious and more life changing than others. It will be tough on her if she keeps the baby. All you can do is be there to listen and help her make it through this emotionally, and make sure she takes responsibility for herself and her actions. She's going to grow up faster than she would have otherwise, but with you behind her, she can still turn out to be a wonderful, caring, responsible, smart adult.

Sorry all that is happening at once. I was reading a book this weekend, and there was a statement that went something like this: no person or event has the ability to make us feel stress, we do that to ourselves. I think there is another saying that is a prayer to have the power to change what can be changed, and the strength to accept what cannot be changed. You might be feeling stress because you don't feel in control of all that is happening (dd's pregnancy, SO's dd's wedding, no wedding plans for yourself). What you can do is sit back and look at all those events and say what do you have power over? You can be a source of support for your child, you can feel happy for the couple getting married, and you can take a second look at your relationship and decide if it's possible that it will go where you want it to go and have a serious talk with yourself about that (or you can just feel satisfied that the relationship is going so great and all your needs, except long-term committment, are being met). If you focus on those things you can influence, maybe you can find a way to feel more at peace with everything and everyone that is affecting your life right now. Or it's also possible that what you really need is a (((((((((((((big hug)))))))))))).

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Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 1:26pm

Hi Lisa. Nice to hear from you!


I am sorry you couldn't give us a happy update, but I guess that's how life is sometimes.


How old is your oldest daughter? Do you think it's a terrible idea for her to keep the baby?


You said: My daughter is having baby so what kind of parent does that make me... Please please don't beat yourself up. You do the best you can. And then SHE makes her own choices. Just as you cannot blame yourself, she'll never be able to blame YOU for her choices. Part of growing up is making them yourself and then dealing with consequences. My mom is a GREAT mom. Perfect, she is not. But we've worked through a lot of stuff, and she's one of my dearest friends. My getting pregnant at 18 did NOT make her a bad mom (though I am sure she struggled with that too) She did her best. I made a poor unwise choice. I have an incredible 10 year old son with a beautiful soul as a result of that "mistake".


She's a great mom and a GREAT Nana to Ty!

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 3:12pm


She is 16 and still have a half of semster of high school left. She will be 17 when the baby comes and I am sure it is not a bad thing but I am feeling very much out of control of my life. I have been doing a lot of soul searching about SO and myself but I would be lost with out him in my life. I have a life that is still mine but it would be easier with him besides me instead of 2 hours away. But I will get through this and you are right I am not happy but I will support my daugher and help her to meet what goals she sets for her self.

Lisa

lisa j romesburg

Avatar for mandymi
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 02-22-2005 - 6:16pm

Becky, Candi, et al... so glad to see things going well for everyone (for the most part).




http://somedaysijustworkhere.blogspot.com/">

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