If only...............
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If only...............
| Sat, 12-22-2007 - 9:06pm |
............I had found you guys and the books Date or soulmate and Love smart 3 yrs ago, I could have saved myself a ton of heartache and stress.

Wow - I am glad you liked the book so much. I feel the same way - that if I read that in my 20s or even 7 years ago at the time of my divorce things would be a lot different. But it is never too late, right?
Eharmony never brought anyone good to me so don't feel bad - I guess they do their best on that site and it is a great learning experience to fill out all that stuff and learn their communication skills and questions. Think of it more like a classroom!
Anyway, you ask about the list of must haves and can't stands. How to go from 30 to 10. I think his point is that if you have 30 you will exclude too many people. Which is probably true. But to me, and most importantly, you will dilute them. You won't pick and stick to the most important.
I don't think you have to arrive to that list all in one night. It is wonderful you have become picky enough to pick 30. But maybe you can start a word file with those and then cross off one a night. Maybe think of nice people you know who have some of those things that are not so bad. Or maybe some are similar and so you can cross off one that sounds like another?
I love that he makes you pick 10 - it is not too many and not too little and it really makes you realize that you have to have more in your life than the looks and the chemistry wild glance from across the room that so many of us have become accustomed to chasing. It means you have to have a goal and standards for yourself - not just a connection with someone who is incapable of filling what you need.
Keep us posted - I always love to hear about these exercises - they are so important for all of us.