if you could turn the clock back

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
if you could turn the clock back
11
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 9:58am

Rebecca's post got me thinking..


If you could turn the clock 5 yrs what would you have done differently? In terms of career or any particular relationship


If you could turn it back 10 yrs what would you have done differently?


I guess it is good to think about this since it can help us make better better decisions today.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 10:09am
I would not do anything differently - Because doing something different doesn't mean I would get a better outcome. I am really happy where I am - and feel that happiness comes from within and from being happy with what I have. And that one situation - such as being married - is not necessarily better than being single.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 11:30am

Interesting question!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 12:17pm

To answer this question, it's interesting to know what I was actually DOING 5 yrs ago, or 10 yrs ago... and funny/odd/coincidental that I was in the middle of some MAJOR life changes at each point.


Five yrs ago, I was just divorced (March 02)

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 12:35pm

Oooh, 10 yrs? I guess I wouldnt marry my H. I *knew* walking down that aisle in 1998 , it was wrong. My dad even said, as the music began "I dont care how much money i lose right now on the wedding, if you want to turn back, Im behind you 100%". Ugh. But, then i woudlnt have dd. Of course, i wouldnt KNOW dd ... but

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 12:56pm

(((((((((hugs))))))))) about your Mom. I have my Mom in these thoughts as well.


If I could go back 5 yrs, I would do MORE with my Mom. I know we did alot together once I moved back home after getting divorced- but there are things that were still left undone. (but can you EVER get enough time???) So maybe it was good that I wasn't still working as a nurse where I lived before- because I was "free" to move back here post-divorce. Had I been working still... I might still be living down there. Who knows?!?


But anyway, my Mom and I were working on a quilt together the year before she passed away. We did alot on it for awhile, but then life got in the way and we stopped working on it. And then now she's gone and we never got to finish it together. One day I will finish it myself... but I just can't bring myself to do that yet. It's still too heartbreaking to look at those blocks that are done... and know where we didn't "finish" when we could've. Because we let "life" get in the way- and yet we weren't all THAT busy.


And since this summer, I've also taught myself how to crochet- and I'm loving it! But it's sad... that Mom always wanted to teach me how to crochet and knit... but I never let her teach me. Again... I let life's busy-ness get in the way. Now that I know how fun it is to crochet, and how rewarding it is, to have things I made by my own hands... I realize how MUCH joy

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 2:27pm

At five years, I wouldn't change anything. I was newly divorced and settling into my own life with my daughter.

At 10 years, I would have got divorced sooner. I waited for things to get better and was almost 38 when I left. Also, my little one would have been only 4 and I don't think the divorce would have been as rough for her.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 6:03pm

If I could turn back time 5 years I would have gotten rid on ex faster.. turn back 10 years... I wont have gotten involved with him and flirted a lot with all those guys who wanted

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Wed, 12-05-2007 - 6:34pm

I find it interesting that nearly everyone said they'd either NOT have gotten involved or dropped him sooner. Very interesting... To me, that says we have a second chance to make a better choice.

For me:

10 yrs ago...1997: I was still married to my first husband... I certainly would have handled things differently so that I didn't lose primary custody of my two oldest... 10 yrs ago, if I had the peace i have today, then I would have put them first. Alas, back then I was suffering from full blown depression and made MANY mistakes. Mistakes that haunted me for several years after that.... Much unnecessary grief and pain for everyone. I made two very critical errors at that time ... first I looked up Florida (my old boyfriend) and fell in love with him all over again on the internet. Although, I don't regret getting in touch with him again, I would have done it differently and NOT had the online affair or better yet... wouldn't have gotten caught (*evil grin*). Florida was trying to find me via internet, too.. it was only a matter of time before we reconnected.

10 yrs ago, I'm not sure that i would have gotten divorced so soon.... but maybe it was a blessing since every one else wishes they'd left sooner...don't know. My first husband and I were friend but not lovers (if you know what i mean)... he wasn't my dream guy. But he wasn't a bad guy either... my second husband was FAAAAR WORSE. It's neither here nor there and I've forgiven myself for my mistakes.

My second mistake was looking for some other man to make me happy, had an affair in 1998, and got caught. The thing I would do differently is NOT look outside the marriage BUT inside MYSELF!!!! Which is what I finally started doing only about 3 years ago. Finally finding joy, love, peace within myself and finding my faith.

5 yrs ago - 2002:

I would have dropped my second husband sooner.... lol. 5 1/2 years ago, I would have had safer sex... with my second husband, I got pregnant early in our dating and got married to save face... save myself from the embarrassment of an unwed pregnancy... Don't get me wrong. I love all my children. I believe they were all meant to be mine but perhaps under better circumstances.

Then again, it was after all that heartache from my 2nd marriage that I found a truth more real than reality and that is Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. The person who loves me more than life itself.... He calls me his friend and He is the only reason I no longer suffer from depression.. but have the Joyful Free Spirit that you know today. Praise Him!

Since I can't go back and do things differently, I pray I will make smarter choices today. This was a good thread. Thanks for letting me share.

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 12:42pm

I read this post when it was initially put out here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2007
Fri, 12-07-2007 - 10:29pm

5 years ago I would have worked harder to get into and finish college so I could have a more stable base for myself.


10 years ago I was 16, so I guess I can say I would have tried harder in school to get better grades and I would have not dated a couple of the fools I went with in high school.


I feel so young now, lol.

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