I'm being a tough cookie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
I'm being a tough cookie
5
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 11:18am

As difficult as it's been I've stood my ground with my break up. I even stood strong when the XB stopped over Christmas eve with presents for my kids and in a private moment asked if we could work things out. I stood my ground when he called me not once but twice on NYE to ask if I would like to come over. I really don't want what we had. I love him, but he is a 41 year old guy who pressures me to get married and have a baby while he still wants to be going out with his pub buddies instead of functioning in an adult relationship. NO THANKS!

He loves me. He's not a bad person and he adores my boys. It would be so easy for me to just fold. The thing is I want someone who will adore me and commit themselves to me and build a life. I don't want less than that. When things are really difficult I remind myself not to miss what I don't want. I got a casual e-mail from him yesterday that sounded like it was from a coworker or something. I didn't respond. I know that I'm making the right decision. You can usually tell because the right decision is usually the one that's the hardest, but it still really sucks.

I super focused on the new businss and working out like a maniac both of which have really made me feel good, but I wish things could be different. At any rate, I'm got to go and eat some nails so I can stay tough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 1:22pm
If he's into hanging out at pubs, then you do not need him. Stay strong. Screen your phone calls. If you see his name on caller ID, do not answer the phone. Block his email address so his emails go directly to your trash bin.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 1:44pm
I second this. No slack, no mercy, no REGRETS!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 3:10pm

Good for you! Not onyl for knowing what you want- not everyone does- but for having the wherewithal to stick with it!

Youre absolutely right- sometimes the right decision is the hardest one.

I'm glad to hear you're doing things to keep yourself busy, things that you enjoy.

Stay up, stay strong!

Moody, trying to be strong, too


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 4:11pm
Good for you, stay strong as it will get easier over time. When a warm, fuzzy thought of him comes up, replace it with a thought of something he did that really pissed you off.
It's a handy tool that works well for me.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2006
Thu, 01-04-2007 - 8:16pm
I just want to say thank you. You are all amazing. I was feeling a bit sad today and reading your posts made all the difference.