Im devistated
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Im devistated
| Tue, 08-24-2004 - 7:23am |
Jerry has told me that he wants me to have an abortion. He says it wasnt an easy choice but what he feels is the best for him. I have an appointment for Saturday and my sister is coming along with me. I am angry hurt and numb -- its over for Jerry and I. My life as I have known it is now over and I have never felt so alone...all I do is cry. Thought i would all let you know. Thanks to all who have given me such wonderful advice and support here. Im not going to even consider dating for a long time and have no desire to. Good luck in all of your lives.

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MaryBeth, I just now caught up with this thread, and the one in which you found out you were pregnant.
I just thought of something else. If you do elect to have an abortion you will never get back with Jerry and you will always resent him.
But if you do have the baby, this will give him time to miss you and sort things out and then it might work!! I know this sounds crazy but I am betting that if he saw you and the baby 9 months from now he would melt and support you. Even if you don't get back together you would have his support in some way as a father.
There are so many people who would love to be in your shoes - granted - not as single and not planned - but with another child. I am 42 and watching my fertility days just whittle away. I would love to have the opportunity to have another child. Where there is a will there is a way.
I agree with everyone here.
Kim
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pppgunplan
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psunexppreg
Also see these abortions boards for support and information!
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppabortgrf
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhabortion
I also encourage you to read some posts from the many adoption boards on ivillage. This is all so you get a clear view of all the options you really DO have. I also want to tell you that nothing is more educational than getting opinions and view from people that have BTDT. Give yourself the time to think about all the options that you have. You are not alone - and there are lots of things that you can do!! Don't despair. And don't leave us - we are here to help.
I hope that helps you get what you need to make an informed choice that you can feel happy with. P&PT to you again!
Laura
MaryBeth, I am heartbroken for you and the way things have turned out.
You've received so much advice already that all I can offer is more hugs. I am thinking of you, and praying that you have the strength and wisdom to do what's best for you.
please please don't leave the board because you feel you won't fit in. Tara's right. You are part of our family and we care about you! Let us know how you are.
I'm so sorry it has turned out this way. I support whatever YOU decide...raising a baby on your own is hard when planned and harder yet when unplanned. I hope you have support from friends and family, don't go through this alone.
First off, if I was there, I would give you a huge hug. What you have to go through right now can be the scariest thing to face. Next I would tell you to grab those twins look them in the eye and tell them that you love them. After doing this I want you to silently think how empty your life would be without them. The baby that you have inside of you is such a gift. You are facing a scary time in your life. I wish you all the strenghth you need in the coming days and weeks. I hope with all my heart that you do not choose to have an abortion. I know lots of women will argue with me, but it is a child inside of you. You are that child's mother, and it's your responsibility to protect him/her... Please Please Please take some time to think about it. Even if you decided to give the baby up for adoption, that is the greatest gift you could ever give someone. I know from personal experience how hard it can be to find yourself single and pregnant- but the joy that has been given to me has far surpassed anything else in my life. Please email me at Skeehn2000@yahoo.com- if you need someone to talk to we can email, or I will email you my phone number and you can call me at any time
Stacey
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MaryBeth))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Well, seeing as I was
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I was going to post a new thread - but I will put it here. Yesterday afternoon -- I just felt I cannot go through losing the baby AND Jerry -- I had to see him as we really never did "the talk" face to face-- it has been thru emails and over the phone. It felt different with him there. Last night we knew -- that we love one another. I told him that I was going to go thru with the appointment - we then went to dinner and one of the waitresses-- VERY pregnant, a few tables over a family out with the newborn - looked to be the first time out -- and I almost started crying then and there -- but stuffed it to act normal- ok - for Jerry. Then I stayed at his place and we made love like -- omg it was incredible the passion-- it hasnt been like that. Then I wake up to seeing one of his sons baby pictures. I lost it-- was crying uncontrollably in Jerrys arms-- he kept asking what was wrong. The words just couldnt come. I DONT WANT TO DO THIS-- I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO DO THIS is all I kept saying to myself. He asked me if I was ok- I said no, but I am trying to be. That was it-- I cut it short because we both had to hurry to get ready to get to work. I got to work and my brain is still going-- one of my sisters called that I havent talked to in a long time. I needed to tell her-- she said MaryBeth dont do this- its not what you want, it may be the last opportunity to have another child and well I have always wanted one- I wanted it in my last marriage and my ex husband didnt. My family knew this-- my grandmother wanted me to be pregnant again and thats the last conversation I remember having with her-- she told me "whats the problem honey-- go get your baby girl (what I always wanted) - she said go home and get to hoopin it up!" Wonderful woman-- shes still alive but old with demensia doesnt remember.
Anyway my point it- I dont want this - even if Jerry feels its the right thing. It isnt in any way shape or form that I can see. I am 32-- I make a great living. I have a loving family who is all supportive of me-- Im doing this with or without him-- preferrably with and truth I think it will be but Im having a baby and IM F'ing thrilled about it!!
I have the ultrasound next Wednesday to determine my exact
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