I'm falling in love, he has kid issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
I'm falling in love, he has kid issues
14
Mon, 06-30-2008 - 11:03am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 8:40pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 9:58pm

Hi Rab631,


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 9:59pm

Yes there are - I have met quite a few in my travels. They are the ones who are entertained by children and see them as a positive blessing in our lives and not an annoyance. I do realize that not every child is perfect and nor is every day - but we can choose to be around people who make a day shine instead of be miserable over little things.

I want someone who can play the role of friend, mentor and "favorite uncle" so to speak. My son has a dad and is older and doesn't need any more people in his life to cause him confusion or strife. We have had enough of that with the divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 07-01-2008 - 11:23pm
"We only get one shot at it and a current bf is not entitled to screw that up. Children move in and out of difficult behavioral periods so that need not be an issue. I believe that there are men out there who will love you and be able to love your child as well."
I just wanted to post and say that this line you wrote really stuck out to me and inspired me to post on this thread. I have a live in bf and my son who is 9, almost 10 lives with us. We are all quite happy together and yet your line is so true - I bet my kid has gone through 10 different stages since I met my bf 2+ yrs ago, some good and some bad. We have gotten through each of them but honestly you cant decide whether or not you could handle someone's kid by the current phase they are going through whether it be a good phase or not because just wait three months and see what comes next, right? One never knows what is right around the corner as far as the challenges go.... Parenting or stepparenting is a commitment of unconditional understanding no matter what pops up. And its the acknowledgement that good times with a kid can turn on a dime. We are always grateful and thrilled to see something good stick around for a while of course but we know there will be something else a bit more trying before long. For my son's last school year we got to deal with great grades, wonderful new friendships and acts of kindness without suggestion, witnessing his heart open to another man other than his father, huge strides in what seems to be a great sense of humor, evidence of humility annnnnnnnd drum rolll........ dealing with fibbing, manipulating bedtime or nutrition, stalling on homework, the early onset of sullen preteen behavior, and sudden regression into clinginess right when my work picks up - and I list these things only because it hits me that they are all NORMAL for his age group and stuff we signed up for!
I am living proof over here that there are men who are more than happy to take that on.
Lilypie - Personal picture

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