I'm going to be physically sick.......
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| Tue, 10-14-2008 - 12:36pm |
Catherine,
I didn’t sleep much last night. And I wanted to write, since it’s probably a better form of communication for me to use.
I think you’re wonderful, and I have strong feelings for you. But right now I may not be able to give you the attention you deserve. Yes, I have a lot of things going on in my life, and I guess I’m at a different place. I can’t offer you all of me. The feeling of not living up to expectations makes me physically sick.
I still want to date you, if you want to date me. But I think we should take a step back and slow things down.
I want you to feel free to date whomever you want. And I understand if you want to pursue a more fulfilling relationship with someone else.
If you want to talk more about it later, we can. I just wanted to get my collected thoughts on paper. I hope that’s cool.
RF
xxoo
I JUST FREAKING FINISHED RESPONDING TO A THREAD ABOUT COMMUNICATING CALMLY and THIS is where it got me. In case ya'll are wondering, this is the thread I just wrote and in the end, RF's response to it, came in the above format. Here was last nights talk that we had. Thinking I was communicating my feelings in a positive manner and getting positive feedback. GEESH! I FEEL SO SICK!!
The thread:
I have been bugged the last week that RF worries too much and then it distracts him and he gets sooo silent. He hasn't asked at all this week when we'll see each other and that I always have to bring it up. Finally, after him not saying anything about us meeting up, it started to really bug me. I began thinking that maybe he doesn't want to see me. Maybe he rather do something with his friends and he doesn't know how to tell me. Maybe something is bugging him with us....
So my mind goes around and around. Finally, when I forgot a bag at the Hobby Store, due to frustration and mind wandering about RF, I decided to just ask him.
I told him how I wanted to leave it alone, but realized that forgetting stuff and mind wandering was really bugging me and potentially dangerous when driving. LOL.
I then asked him if he thought we were spending too much time together? Or if he still felt like he wanted to see only me or if something else was bugging him regarding us.
He was totally taken aback. No clue whatsoever that their was an issue. His explanation was, that he always assumes we'll be together and that he didn't realize I wanted to be asked. I said, well, it would be nice, because I can't read your mind and I wouldn't want to take you away from you friends or make you feel bad if you did. WELLLLLL, then I began to tell him how little signs of us not making any real plans kind of bugged me. That we spent a beautiful Fall day doing nothing and that we've made plans, but haven't done of it yet. We've only talked about it and when I bring it up, he doesn't seem so interested and how that made me feel.
He felt awful and apologetic and said he guesses he has some things to work on, because he's crazy about me, thinks of me all the time and wants to spend all his time with me.
Anyway, communication, being open and not letting things fester is working much better then when I used to let myself go crazy over nothing, or sometimes even over something that I ligitimately had a reason to be nuts about.
Edited 10/14/2008 1:05 pm ET by myprecioustwo

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I would definitely wait a bit for the conversation, a few days or so.
I think I agree w/ some of the others that he was responding to what he thought YOU wanted, and was saying "oh you want to date others...
YIKES!!!! Wow, I would be totally stunned, too. I will never understand how people can change their feelings so quickly, because that is something that I am totally unable to do. Telling you to date others is very passive aggressive...if you date someone, then he can justify letting you go.
I don't have anything deep to say, just I am so sorry this is happening to you.
I read your post yesterday and am chiming in a bit late here.
Living in Adelaide, South Australia
CL of
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