I'm Listening - I hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
I'm Listening - I hurt
7
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 7:05pm

I filed for the ex-parte on Friday and was granted it. He should be served tomorrow...and I know he'll be furious! I know I should have filed a long time ago, but I was just pretending that it would all go away. Sorry I haven't responded to the previous posts, but I went out of town this weekend.

To make matters worse, when I came home, my grandparents had taken my dog away. He was a toy poodle with epilepsy. I went to my granny's house Friday before I left and made her promise that they wouldn't do anything to my dog. I have been looking for a new home for him, but I wanted to know when he went and where he went, especially b/c of his medical problems. I just wanted to be able to talk to the people who were going to get him and tell them things about my puppy (he was a little over 3 - had him since he was 6 weeks old). I don't even know where he went, they won't tell me...I don't know if he actually went to a new home or if they shot him or something. I feel horrible. I just wouldn't to go out of town with my aunt and baby to relax and get away from all this stupid stress! I just get back to find out my little puppy is gone - and that my own family lied to me about it all. They planned it. Not one hour after I had left, they got "rid" of him.

Sorry to ramble, especially with things not pertaining to my R/O or dating or my stupid divorce/marriage. I just hurt really bad - terribly bad - right now.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 7:12pm

I am so sorry about your dog!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 7:46pm

Thanks Jenny, I appreciate it.

I'm not crying anymore, like I was when I was writing my first post, so I'll elaborate some more on the R/O.

I don't really know if he was served Friday or not, but he hasn't called my cell phone even one time over the weekend, so I maybe he was. If not, then he will be Monday, and hopefully before class starts. I have to go and pick up my copy of the ex-parte tomorrow. They told me Friday that I could get it then, but I was already on my way to Memphis. They were so much nicer than the people in my home county. (I filed in a different county using a temporary address - my mom's - so I wouldn't have to subject myself to the bias and hateful judges that are friends with ex's family.)

I didn't have to meet with the judge in person though, I just filled out the papers and talked to the court advocate. The judge reviewed them after I left and decided on what I had explained that I was in need of an R/O. I'm just scared now b/c I have to face him in court in less than a month to see if the R/O will be extended for a longer period of time. I don't even know how the proceedings go for this kind of thing. Do you get sworn in? Are other people (like his family) allowed in the court room? Do I have to face my ex/or not so ex? It's all very intimidating and scary and I just do think I have the strength in me to go through anymore crap right now. It feels like every time I clear one hurdle, there's ten more in front of me. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself right now...who knows...

As for vistation in the decree (alison asked about it) I haven't a clue! I was told that I'm not divorced b/c the judge has not signed the decree. Plus, I don't even have any kind of copy saying when dd goes or when she comes back. I've been told that at this point if ex gets her, he doesn't have to give her back b/c we are still technically married. Therefore, she's not going anywhere...esp. with the way he's been acting, etc. Maybe that makes me a bad person in some peoples eyes, but I feel that I am only protecting my daughter! I want her to have her father in her life, but not a drunken dead beat on drugs who doesn't care enough to even pay c/o. Hope that doesn't sound too hateful...but he's so crazy and mean right now...more so than he has been in a long while.

Guess I'll go...gotta test to study for tomorrow. I'm also going and applying for a couple of jobs that I REALLY want tomorrow too.

I miss my puppy...sorry if that sounds childish...but it was as if he were my baby, and I'm heart broken about it...I ache.

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-19-2004
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 7:56pm

It's not childish at all!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 8:59pm

I know you miss your dog. Although I don't agree with your grandparent's actions, I am sure they did it because they are concerned about you and didn't want you to be burdened.

I am glad you are making progress with the divorce, custody, RO matters. Keep us posted - we all do care. Are you going to talk to the lawyer on Monday? See if you can make payment arrangements and then see what he says for finalizing the divorce and handling visitation. I don't really understand how all of the paperwork and proceedings work, but you should stay on top of it and get the best advice you can find and afford.

Good luck!! Hugs to you!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2005
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 10:52pm
Kait, my heart really goes out to you. It was wrong of your family to do what they did, no matter how well intentioned they may have been. I would be heartbroken and crying too. Just pray for your little puppy, my granddaughter just lost her dog, and me and my daughter took it a lot harder than she did. I think because she lost a hamster last year, she may think that all pets die. We are just glad that she's o.k. now. Yes, I'm sure your ex may be furious and try some form of retaliation through someone else, so watch it around that heffer in your class, if I lived in your neck of the woods, I would gladly voluteer to go whoop her a-- for you. She burns me the most of everybody because she's maliciously setting you up. Watch your back around her and be extra alert these days, eventually the idiot will leave you alone, but things may get worse before they get better. Make no mistake about it, things will get better. God does not like ugly, and God helps those who help themselves. You've taken the an important first step, so just be strong and have faith, in the end you will prevail. When your case comes up, it's supposed to be just you two in the courtroom. You can request it by explaining to the judge that his family have menaced you as well. No judge is going to allow nonsense in his courtroom, so don't worry. Just walk in with a firm resolve and a take no prisoners attitude (even if you're shaking in your boots) don't show it. Be strong, be firm because God is always with you.
The T Girl
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2004
Sun, 10-16-2005 - 10:53pm
If your lawyer was good you should have a copy of the divorce papers that you should have been able to look over. I have a copy from my lawyer that has things crossed out and other things added. It basically says what the conditions are. The final one you get after the judge signs and the lawyers bill is paid.
Just remember niow that you got a r/o if he harasses you you have to say something.
Also nobody picks on another, its that a person allows it to happen
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 10-17-2005 - 12:02am

Kait, I agree with softballs, now that you have the restraining order, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO USE IT!


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