I'm loosing it....

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
I'm loosing it....
18
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 9:31am

my mind that is!


Good Friday to all! I am new to this board...I have been reading your very very very helpful posts since February...and I have learned a lot from all of you, so thank you!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 4:17pm

You have the right attitude! To be honest, I never even asked BE how long he waited (if at all) before he started dating after his divorce. (I'm not the first since his divorce).


I'm glad you have found the board helpful...looking forward to hearing more from you. Have a great weekend!!


pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2007
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 7:15pm

hi and welcome


a couple of things struck me from your post - I may or may not be on the right track.

mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 8:08pm

I think the hardest thing is to be able to just sit with our negative emotions such as fear or jealousy or anger and not do anything about it but just to feel it fully until it passes.


Mark I loved your post it was very thought provoking.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2008
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 8:51pm

Hi lostdamind...no I don't think you are losing it. You made yourself very vulnerable by telling him that you are falling in love with him, that will make things that your can take in stride most of the time loom alot larger in your mind. Basically when you told him about how you feel, you stood there with your heart in your hands and said "here you go!" You are experiencing an instinctive feeling of wanting to protect what you and he have, and here is a very threatening interloper imposing on your turf. The exwife is throwing a fit about some guy. What does that tell you? We don't create drama unless we have strong feelings about someone. I would venture to guess that she really likes the boyfriend and that's why the emotional hurricane. You know that you will have to tolerate the ex-wife, and you have known that. No one falls in love with someone with a child without knowing that they will have to deal with the child's other parent. I'm sure your rational side knows this.


No one has to deal with my kid's dad because he is out of the picture all together due to drug addiction. The down side is that it's hard for me to date because I don't want to leave them at night! It's hard for a guy to separate me from the two of them actually, so it's not the former husband that's the threat with me, it's me not wanting to be separated from my kiddos that could cause a problem for a potential suiter.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Fri, 10-17-2008 - 9:55pm
FWIW I would probably call my STBX for anything involving the children or house. I've cut WAY back on asking him for help for a few different reasons, but I would in a pinch. But as far as talking to him about my dating life, someday--when I have one, NO WAY! I can understand your frustrations. GL with this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Sat, 10-18-2008 - 7:37am

I'm the same way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 12:16pm

Hi mom_uk2socal,


Thanks for your answer :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
Mon, 10-20-2008 - 12:19pm

Thank you all so much for your support!! I have a happy udate I'm going to post :-)


Thanks again for listening to my "crazy" self :-)

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