I'm Scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
I'm Scared
10
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 8:29pm

I'm really scared about this whole relationship thingy.

Okay...like I posted last week, crush had to go out of town to see his grandmother who was ill. Okay, well...his sister said that he couldn't stop talking about me. However, when his aunt asked him why he didn't bring his girlfriend along, his reply was that "she's not my girlfriend, she's my friend." What?? I thought we had already established that we were a couple.

Anyway...Friday night I went out with a girlfriend and he called me around 9pm and asked me if I wanted to come up and talk to him while he bartended. So, my friend Julie and I went up to the bar. We sat there a while, chatted with crush and some others. Well...this woman came up to the bar to order, who I had seen before with crush's mom, and she leaned across and asked me my name (after she was done talking with crush). She introduced herself and said, "well, it's really nice to meet you; I didn't know you were his girlfriend." So, evidentally he had told her that I was. Okay - do I sound silly yet?

Crush wasn't feeling well that day or night; he had eaten something bad at sonic and was pretty much sick to his stomach. He kept going outside and getting sick, so on the third time he went out, I went and found him, took him some water and a cold towel, etc. He told me that he was going to go home and asked if I wanted to go with him. So, I went to his house and basically took care of him while he was sick. He ended up feeling better, etc. and we talked and joked around.

Saturday he calls me and asks me that if I didn't have any big plans (ie: me and him) then he was going to watch his sister's middle child and watch movies and told me that I could come over if I wanted. He called me an hour later while he was at the movie place picking out movies and asked me again if I wanted to come over and what movie did I want to watch if I did.

So...I ended up watching movies with him, etc. We talked and laughed, but I just felt a little odd. I wanted to say, "so, what's going on? are we a couple or what are we doing?" but - I just couldn't.

So...I really like him, as a matter of fact, I really think that I love him. I'm NOT about to tell him that though. But...we talk every day, we see each other all the time, but I still feel so up in the air and I can't bring myself to say anything. He makes references to it a lot, as in "I know you worry about things, etc," and tells that it's okay and to just relax. But how??

I feel crazy...and I wanna say something to him, but I don't know how or what to say. I feel like if I say anything about couple stuff then he might run for the hills. But everything we do and say says that we are. His sister said that he's getting teased in a lot of ways b/c he talks about me all the time, etc. Silly huh?

But...help! lol

Kait

PS: Thursday night he called and asked if he could come over after he was done with his bowling thing - said he had something for me. So, he came over and he had gotten be a brand new pair of boots to wear to the PBR in two weeks when I sing. The were so cute too, and he just blushed when he gave them to me. I mean, if he doesn't like me and we're not a couple, why is he spending all kinds of money on me, etc?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 9:01pm

Kait,

I certainly feel for you!

However, I think you do need to ask him what's going on, you cannot tiptoe around afraid to rock the boat. If that's the case, then it's NOT a relationship, right? You need to be able to communicate with each other, good or bad.

I think it's only fair to bring up the comment that you "aren't his girlfriend, only a friend" He could've only said it to his aunt simply because he's being so razzed by family about it all, and wanted it to stop. Be honest with him and he will be honest with you.

The longer you take to ask him and clear it up, the more you're going to drive yourself crazy wondering what's going on. Then you're going to start resenting him or second guessing his true intentions.

I know how much you like this guy, and how LONG you've liked this guy. Ask him why he said that and let him explain. Even if it's not what you want to hear, don't you think you deserve to know?

((HUGS))







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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 10:33pm

Kait,

I totally agree with Alison...it's only going to make you feel more uncomforable the more you worry about it.

Maybe just bring it up like "I know we haven't really talked about this, but do you consider us exclusive?" Or something like that. I have no doubts that you can communicate effectively--it just doesn't make it any less scary when you have to talk about important things, huh!! :)

But I believe that if he likes you as much as he appears from his actions, everything should be fine.

hugs sweetie!
--snow

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 2:33pm

It's not a good sign if you feel unsure. I don't remember when my boyfriend and I exchanged "i love you's". It seems like we just always loved each other and there was never any uncertainty to the relationship.

The guys I dated who made me feel unsure or gave mixed signals were not that into me and those relationships were short-lived. In hindsight, I gave mixed signals to guys that I didn't really dig. Made them feel unsure and kept them at arm's length, and dumped them when I was ready.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:16pm

I'm not really unsure about him - I don't think that's the case. I'm sure how I feel, it's just that I want him to come out and say it to me (that we're a couple) instead of others.

However, after our phone conversation last night, I feel a lot better. He brought some stuff up and cleared up the reservations that were there on my part.

So everything is okay and back on the track that I think it should be on...lol.

As for Leah, poor thing has a temp of 103. We spent the morning at the doctors office. I've been alternating tylenol and motrin, which has brought the fever down.

I was a little upset last night when I got her back from ex though. She was sick as a dog, hadn't had anything to eat, and had a fever that hadn't been treated. On top of all that, I took her home, gave her a bath, and found a tick buried in her upper thigh. Now I can understand that she played outside and got a tick from the yard. BUT...what I can't understand is how nobody saw it. It was HUGE, in plain sight, and on her leg!!! I called ex to see what she had been doing during the weekend and turns out that he didn't even keep her AGAIN!!! He let dd go off to Springfield with his stepmom! I'm so sick of him not being with her when it's his time - and even more sick of her coming back sick and dirty!!!

AAGGGHH...the joys of ex's!

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 9:48pm
You might want to call her doctor if she has a fever and a tick bite. A friend's child got Lyme's disease. It presented with a fever following a tick bite.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 10:03pm

Her doctor is also a very close friend of mine, so I called him right after I found the tick last night. I also took her in to his office this morning. Right now he doesn't think that the fever and coughing/congestion has anything to do with the tick. However, just for precautions he did put her on antibiotics.

Thanks for the input!

Kait

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 10:42pm

Kait,


I just hope that you're documenting all of this still, that he's not even spending time with her on "his" weekends.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 8:43am
That's good.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-20-2004
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 1:50pm

Kait, I don't know how you do it honey. Your ex drives ME crazy and I don't even have to deal with him.

Poor baby Leigh! Hope she feels better soon!!

--snow

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: kaitlyn02
Tue, 05-23-2006 - 2:42pm

From everything you have said so far, I am surprised this happened. I would be tempted to talk to him about where you stand. You should always feel comfortable to do that.

"Okay...like I posted last week, crush had to go out of town to see his grandmother who was ill. Okay, well...his sister said that he couldn't stop talking about me. However, when his aunt asked him why he didn't bring his girlfriend along, his reply was that "she's not my girlfriend, she's my friend." What?? I thought we had already established that we were a couple."

With regards to that, I would ask point blank about WHY he said that.

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