I'm so upset about Dylan

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
I'm so upset about Dylan
35
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:31pm
I don't get it. Last Friday, he and another male student gave a female classmate a 1/4 moon almost at the end of the day. He got sent to the Behavior Room for the punishment. He had not had a few good days, but the couple leading up to that day were great.

Yesterday, he got in trouble for doing some stuff typical of his age, but still, it wasn't right. And today, he mooned AGAIN with a female student in PE and got sent to the room again, and I had to pick him up. Half day suspension.

In all my years of schooling, I was never suspended even for a few hours. He's in his 3rd six week period of Kindergarten.

Now his father wants me to remove him from class Monday and Tuesday of Thanksgiving week so he can have him because his mother volunteered that without me knowing it. Shane and I were supposed to go to New Orleans with his work next weekend, but we aren't going to go due to us buying the house at the end of the month. Scott's mother was supposed to keep D during that weekend, so I told her we weren't going, but offered her the opportunity to have him anyway if she wanted. She agreed and then emailed Scott to tell him about it and asked him if he wanted Dylan instead, which automatically puts me driving not only that weekend twice, but also again Tuesday after school. He also doesn't even think about the fact that Dylan's schooling is more important and that I scheduled an ultrasound for that afternoon that Dylan was attending with Shane and me. I think he needs to be included on that, don't you?

I told him no, he can't have D until Tuesday, but he's making it so hard on me. I'm just ready to give up. Take D out of school, homeschool him and give up everything.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 12:36pm
It is good that Shane got involved. Bravo. His car selling skills are being put to good use!! I am sure he will get it all smoothed out and make it look easy.

Good luck!! Keep us posted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 4:32pm
I spoke to Scott this morning. We both spoke very civil to one another and he apologized for being such a bully all the time. His wife even told him to chill out on me. He agreed to allow Dylan to go to school those two days and to attend the ultrasound because he realized how important it is to include Dylan on that stuff.

But I am going to drive Dylan to him on Friday and again on Tuesday. Only because we agreed to a compromise and because he apologized and owned up to his bullying behavior. I figured I'd go ahead because it's my choice, not his.

But in the future, he needs to take a breath before speaking. Niether of us communicate well with each other and we are both at fault on that. So that is something we agreed to work on for Dylan's sake. So it's all okay and ironed out.

Thanks!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 11-13-2004 - 8:57pm
I totally relate to what you mean about communicating with your ex. I think no one else on this planet can make my blood boil the way he does.

I am happy for you that you have a solution. It will be good for Dylan to see his dad and I am glad it is on your terms and you are happy with that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
Sun, 11-14-2004 - 12:46pm
Mel,

I haven't read all of the replies. I hope you see this one. My son was kicked out of kindergarten on his 6th day of class. He just started school in the Fall. They kept him out of class while they evaluated him. He was out of school for about 5-6 wks.

They ended up placing him in the 'emotionally disturbed' class, where he is doing great. It's very small, only 10 kids. He gets one-on-one instruction. I think the regular class was way too busy for him. Anyway, I'm amazed that he isn't getting in trouble anymore and he feels successful (finally).

My ex husband gave me a bunch of crap over the school thing and told me to homeschool. That would not have worked.

Feel free to email me if you want to talk more about this. I completely understand.

fivesense99@yahoo.com

Tricia

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 11:34am
I think Dylan is just being five. His little friends do silly things and he can't seperate the fact that they will get into trouble with the fact that it's funny, so he imitates them. It's for attention. I really hate the fact that he showed his butt not once but twice, however, he knows that this is not acceptable and that each time, he gets 3 pops on the rear for it.

You show your butt, you get spanked on the butt. I also told him (and he hates girl stuff) that next time, I'll buy him girls panties and if he shows his butt, his friends will see his new pink barbie panties and laugh at him. He wasn't too thrilled with that possibility. So I think he will stop. At least I hope so. I shudder to think I might have to go buy panties and actually embarass him like that.

Anyway, I don't think your ex should have given you a hard time about the schooling. Your son has needs that aren't met in regular classes. He's thriving in the new programs and if that works, then why not go with it?

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 12:55pm
Inspired by your Sargeant Marsh story I took action on the socks thing.

I told DS if he left them in the floor again I was going to throw them away and he could buy more with his own money.

I only had to throw away one pair...he's been picking them up the past few days. *grin*

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 6:33pm

Hey revenoc,

I agree. I do the same thing here - except when I have to pick something up - clothing, towels, shoes, toys - he gets grounded from going outside for a day.

Very effective - like you said - it was one time only.

I think it is important to show them you are not just letting out hot air - that there are consequences - and that you only like to say something once - and that they are expected to pick up as they go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 6:45pm
I have the same deal going at our house. After repeated warnings to put toys away to no avail, the rule now is “If toys are left on the floor, they get tossed in the trash if I get to them first!”

My daughter knows this rule well! You don't see her Polly Pockets or other toys laying around. It took a while for the boys to catch on, a few pokemon cards and matchbox cars were forfeited, but now they know! If I say “I’m going to vacuum” they are searching the floor like crazy for toys left behind. LOL (insert evil laugh here).

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 6:48pm
That is FUNNY - I like your "I am going to vacuum"!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 11-15-2004 - 6:53pm
I have that same rule . . .

And - one of my oldest son's Power Rangers was sucked up by the vacuum (oops! It was an accident! Even though the vacuum cleaner made a horrid sound and I had to go over him 5 times until the beater brush had broke him into small enough pieces to suck him up!) So I was changing the bag on the vacuum and I called ds over and showed him his beloved, mangled Power Ranger. He cried. I felt guilty. For about two seconds flat. Then I reminded him "and remember, I vacuum under your bed, too, otherwise your allergies act up!"

Muah ha ha ha ha ha!

Now, to train the 2 year old . . . .