Input? A guy's perspective would be +++!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Input? A guy's perspective would be +++!
27
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:00am

To not fill this up with SOOO much background but to give a little bit so this all makes sense:
-about 8 mths ago, my license plate was stolen and the Cst who handled the case was cute, friendly and flirty. I was dating someone at the time (which he subtly fished around or so I thought) so that was that. The thief was caught, Cst. Cutie called with a final update and I wished him well and left it at that.
-a month ago there was a

 

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 5:11am

I would toss the ball back in his court and not chase him. Like "I'm the old fashioned sort of woman who would rather have the gentleman get a hold of me if he is interested. Thanks for all your help."

And leave it at that.

Mark

Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 5:13am

Put the ball in his court now. Instead of asking him to do something else just reply with interest regarding his work schedule. Like oh to bad, or I hope you're still finding time to enjoy your summer.. something along those lines. Then just put it on him... if he would like to get together for coffee, or dinner, or whatever you want to insert there for him to contact you.


Well, thats what I'd do :)

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 5:31am
I'm with you on the chasing... however I will let my interests be known, and then leave it at that.
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 10:34am
This won't make you proud Mark, but I'm *much* too chicken to be as outright as "I'm too old fashioned, you need to ask me out" But I completely get what you're saying about putting the ball in his court and that's exactly what I think about it too. I feel I've already opened the door to asking me out and he needs to do what's next. Its unfortunate he didn't saying something more of "I can't get that night off but would you like to see a movie some night?" or something along those lines but all I can do is take a little time and see what develops. Thank you for replying!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 10:49am

Thank you! I agree, I don't want to seem like I'm chasing that just can't come across in a good way in any situation LOL


Finding the right words is difficult...its naive to say I'm used to the guy asking so I really need to brush up on my skills here!! lol I will let you guys know the response & response from him when (if?) I get one.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 11:21am

I would just say - I appreciate you taking the time and effort to get the day off - no worries.

Then in another week I would email him to ask him how his week is going and encourage speaking back and forth and then give your number.

I think you need to work on more communication and then see how it goes. Maybe get him to talk about which days he gets off and what he likes to do and see if he has an interest to invite you on that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2006
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 11:38am
That is a really good plan as well. A much more patient plan than just tossing "the ball directly back at him". Oh so much to ponder! LOL Thanks West :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 11:45am

I think you should just try to get to know him more. But don't get stuck on him. Keep on going!!

I just read this great blog/article somewhere that said you should work more on chatting up everyone as you go through your day - it is better to meet someone standing in a line (on-line) rather than OLD - not to say OLD is bad - but we cannot just depend on that. It said mix it up 50/50 - On-Line and ONLINE - haha - I thought that was funny - but good advice.

(did you read my Norwegian HOTTIE thread? - I was putting THAT idea to good work - if I hadn't read that article I don't think I would have been inclined to bother him because he was so intent on his paper and ipod that he didn't even notice us!!)

Avatar for eponine365
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:16pm

I've seriously been trying to do this more! I'm horrible at it though. My biggest issue is not feeling pretty all the time. Ya know, I'm one of those go to the grocery store with no makeup and a baseball cap type of gals lol.


Anyway yesterday at the amusement park I was sitting on a bench watching the girls play and this guy started up a conversation with me. So we talked for about ten mins, and I was thinking this is nice, I should do this more. Then he says well I have to go get back to my girlfriend now, we're getting our Caricatures (sp?) done. I was like LOL OK! Sigh.


I do this at work a lot though. No, I don't want to date someone I work with. However, since I work in the ED we have a lot of Paramedics and Police officers in and out of there. If I see someone I'm attracted to I always try to make an effort to strike up a conversation. Only one has shown interest back. The other night I'm walking down the hall at 4am and I hear MICHELLLLLLEEEEEE! Turned around and I got a big wave and smile, but thats it so far.


Anyway back to the OP. Striking up conversations are a good idea too. Do whatever feels best for you :)

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2008
Sat, 07-05-2008 - 2:47pm

Two things about this:


First it sound like you emailed him at work and he responded from work. He was likely in formal speaking mode at work hence the more formal reply. Also, as an officer it is likely his email is monitored/saved forever,

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