interesting list

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
interesting list
10
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 11:40am
http://www.menarelikefish.com/women_spook_men_away_early.html

I have felt lately like men are scared of women who openly flirt...especially in the midwest environment I am in...I know there's still a double standard. What do you all think of this list?

Are any of you offenders, scaring little fishy men??? :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 12:42pm
my own answers...I conFESS!!! Here are my faux pauxs...

THE NON-FEMININE WOMAN: WHEN YOU’RE TOO MANLY

• Be a comedian and not resist a punch line (sorry, can't resist)

• Aggressively pursue meeting men.(what the hell does this mean, if I'm interested I will express it verbally or show it. If a guy is intimidated, he's a woosy)

• Be too sexually forward especially in public (grad student humor is....sex...sizes, shapes, positions...how much you get, how little...it's a fat)

• Shake hands or walk like a guy (I shake hands...I don't lay my dainty pinkies in his hand like I want him to kiss it...I shake hands. I don't consider this manly)

PERSONALITY QUIRKS: WHEN YOU’RE TOO STRANGE

• Be a know-it-all (only if I do know a lot about it)

BIG MOUTH: WHEN YOU TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF LOVE

• Be highly opinionated or voice a strong prejudice (uh oh, if we get to this point I'm a goner)

A BAD HEART: WHEN YOU SOUR HIS EMOTIONS

• Tell other people that they are wrong (only if they are)

• Be sarcastic, cynical or a smart-ass (guilty, I've been told I'm a smart ass...Ty thinks it's cute...)

• Get bored easily (again, guilty...but lots of guys ARE boring, not my fault!)

• Fail to compliment a man (isn't telling him I'm attracted to him a compliment?)

• Don’t value a man’s opinion (only happens if he's an idjit)

• Come across as being too street-smart (so I'm supposed to be a dimwit/easy victim type?)

• Roll your eyes back with disapproval of harmless male behaviors (sorry, a reflex action)

ASSOCIATIONS: WHEN FRIENDS AND FAMILY SPOIL THE MAGIC



• Have too many family obligations (uh oh....)

• Have a history of dating unattractive or "nerdy" men (but nerdy men are cool!)

LIFESTYLE: WHEN LIVING WITH YOU LOOKS LIKE A BIG HASSLE

• Be too artistic when he’s definitely not (but I am!)

THE DATING GAME: WHEN YOU DON’T PASS THE AUDITION

• Be rude to waiters and waitresses (most of the guys I've been with HAVE been)

• Be a bad kisser or too bold early (I'm sure I do this, I don't LIKE to play the "I'm not sure I like you" game)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 12:52pm

Sheesh! You can't do ANYTHING!

Kim

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 12:56pm
When I read that I had an image of Liam Neeson waving his hand and saying "the currency I have will do fine"...

ROTFL

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 1:09pm
WARNING: That book and subsequent summarized tips from it was written by a MAN!! And I have read it.

Okay, now seriously....I thought it had some good points and the gist of it, at least to me, was you can't be an overly emotional out of control girl chasing a boy. And it is good to keep men wondering a little.

However, I feel you cannot play games. And while you should be all you can be in the visual/scent/attraction department, you have to be yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:06pm


I don't see how a grown woman, with children, going to grad school, involved in her community and a job can be a crazy man chaser. I don't have TIME! Just like I don't have time to play games. I certainly don't chase men in general. When I see one/meet one I have an interest in, I say or act so. Now, if a man is into the "demur, keep me guessing," kind of woman, I guess the truth is, he's just not for me. For crying out loud, what do they think I'm going to do? Attack them? Well, women have dealt with that for REAL for quite some time now...so guys need to grow up and get over it. In general, women are sane and if they smile at you, so what?

I'm serious about men who, if you express an interest, then act like they have to avoid you like the plague if they're not interested back. Well hell, speak up man! I understand complex concepts!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:27pm
That list is interesting. I think women getted spooked too. I know I do. I get the 'he's a creep' vibe and I run.

I am tired of reading self-help books and trying to understand men. I'm sick of the whole thing. I've been wondering why women have to read all of these books. And, I've read so many of them. Then, I feel like a failure when a relationship doesn't work out. I run out and buy another darn book.

The guys *don't read* and *don't care*. They bumble through life and I'm truly amazed that people get married, let alone remarried.

I'm doing nothing more than waiting for a man to pursue me. My guess is that I'll die alone ;)

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:36pm

I don't think I liked that list, to be honest. Too many impossible standards. We ALL have some flaws, probably from each of those categories. It's what makes us HUMAN and interesting. And while some men might not like some of those "flaws", others might think they're great. (I will say that I agree that some of them are just plain old turn-off's to most of the human population) This just sounded like an incredibly nit-picky list of reasons for a man to say (possible after he's already gotten some action from a woman) "uh huh, no thanks".


Very Jerry Seinfeld'ish. LOL!!!!


And I agree that SOME men are afraid of openly confident (read: Flirtatious) women, but that's fine. They can find a mouse somewhere. My DH didn't mind obvious flirtation, thankfully. He probably wouldn't have even bothered with me I hadn't expressed obvious and open interest in him. So, good riddance to the rest. ;) I know that's how YOU feel about it Candi.

Becky

Becky

 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:44pm
I agree. And I am totally LOL at your last sentence. Me too!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 2:52pm
I thought the list was pretty sucky actually...one man's smart ass is another man's dream girl.

An example, once I was transferring some iced tea from a glass to a disposable cup so a date could take it with him. He looked at the disposable cup and said "that's not going to fit in there"...I KNEW it would...so I gave him a "rolling eye" look and DUMPED it straight down into the cup. He said "smart ass" and smiled...so, a smart ass is someone who KNOWS what they know and makes no apologies for it. I am most definitely a smart ass. :)

This happened with Ty, and he loves that I'm sassy and don't play demur. Just wish I could find someone local who feels the same.



iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: revenoc
Fri, 11-12-2004 - 3:26pm
LOL, I’ve been guilty of this. A man showing interest in me, me not being able to be say “not interested” and then trying to avoid him like the plague. I recall a specific time at a dance club. He asked me to dance, I did, just for fun and to be nice, and then he started following me around like a lost puppy! I couldn’t be mean and tell him right away to get lost, I thought he’d get the hint when I tried to run away and hide from him. LOL After a while, I quietly told him I was not interested but I felt so bad! Should have never danced with him in the first place!