Intro

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2010
Intro
6
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 12:13pm
Hi I'm new here. I am finding it would be nice to have somewhere to go and chat with other women in the same position. I have two boys, 10 and 14. I've dated a few times since the divorce (2001). What has prompted this is there have been two serious relationships which have ended with 1)the guy being married within a year and 2)the next guy going back to his ex-girlfriend within days of me leaving and now moving in together. I left both times, the situations weren't right for me or my boys so I'm not really devastated (well a little with the first one- or maybe that should be a lot but it has been a while so the pain has dulled) but I have to wonder, do I somehow scare these guys into getting into a sane, normal relationship? Is it so awful with me that they are so grateful for the next thing that comes along? I know I'm being melodramatic about it but what the heck?
I really need a reality check. Anyone out there?
jacalynj
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: jacalynj
Wed, 07-14-2010 - 8:09pm
I would say if the 2nd guy went right back to his exGF, then he was never over her in the 1st place, so it's probably a reason why things didn't work out well w/ you. Good luck in the dating world.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-18-2008
In reply to: jacalynj
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 11:21am
I thought I was jinxed for a long time... like 5 guys in a row married the very next girl they dated including my dd's father (while I was pg).
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2008
In reply to: jacalynj
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 11:35am
Welcome to the board, jacalynj! ((HUGS)) I hope you'll jump right in, the water's nice and warm. :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
In reply to: jacalynj
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 2:17pm

Hi and welcome,


I agree with Jennifer, sometimes it just "seems" like we are jinxed. I also had to kiss quite a few frogs before I met my prince.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: jacalynj
Thu, 07-15-2010 - 8:34pm
I would not worry about what people do after the relationship ends, especially since you are the one who dumps them.

I see relationships are great learning opportunities about yourself, what your values are, what pushes your buttons and what buttons you push in the other, what works and what doesn't.

So the reality check for you is not so much about what the guy did after it ended but what did and did not work while you were in relationship with them.

Make sense?
Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
In reply to: jacalynj
Thu, 07-22-2010 - 9:52pm

"I know I'm being melodramatic about it but what the heck? "

LOL! I would be wondering TOO... but LOL! It's totally not YOU! Think about it, you did them a favour by letting them go: and what did they do? Run to someone else that would PUT UP WITH THEM!!!

You just haven't found a good match yet. Think of these two guys as stepping stones to the right one. You learn a little more about yourself and what you're looking for with each one.

So... what ARE you looking for in a match?


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