Introduction and plea for advice! :)
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| Mon, 01-29-2007 - 10:27pm |
Hi there! I'm so glad I found this board--I read some posts and it looks as if you're a great support team for each other. A lot of you seem to know each other well--do you mind if I get a cup of coffee and join you? :)
I have a 9yo daughter and my marriage to her dad ended very ickily about three years ago. I didn't date at all until last winter, when I started seeing a guy she and I had both known for awhile. We just "hung out" for months--he was around quite a bit but we didn't really make it known to her that he was anything but a friend. The two of them had a great, friendly relationship--we all have common interests and enjoy the same activities. One reason I was so attracted to him in the beginning was that he did so very well with my daughter.
We told her that we were dating last fall, and things haven't gone as well since. We were careful to make ZERO practical changes in her life--we didn't spend any more time together, didn't touch at all in front of her, nothing--but she objected really strongly to my "having a boyfriend". He's still good for her--they like and respect each other, play games together even without me, laugh and talk--
I thought that, as time went on and she saw that nothing really changed, she'd calm down a bit--but no--
How did your kids react when you started dating again after a divorce? Has anybody else dealt with this problem? I'd love to have a little advice here!
Thanks.

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Actually, the "I'm The Mom" tactic is the only reasoning that's worked AT ALL with M. I don't mind talking about things with her, and I've said that I'm interested in her opinions and that I'd never do anything I felt was bad for her, but I'm the grownup and whether or not to date is my decision. I've told her that.
Weirdly, yesterday evening went beautifully. B. got here about the time we were eating supper, and he piddled on the computer while M. and I got ready for bed. We all sat in her room and played a dice game for a half hour and then she laid between us while I read to them. I got up to leave and B. stayed with her--I think I read him to sleep. She had a good time and never once complained about his being here.
A breakthrough? I doubt it. But it was nice, for a change, LOL.
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