It all fell apart last night

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
It all fell apart last night
20
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 8:23am

EMT came to visit last night at work. Things were slow so we were watching tv. I was trying to have a conversation with EMT but I got no response at all because he was watching deal or no deal or something equally as stupid. Then I got frustrated and stood up and said, 'this isnt going to work'. We got into a deep conversation about why not. He said he loved me and wanted to make it work. I agreed but I know deep down. I've been there before. The guy you have now is the guy youre going to have years later. They dont change. Especially at 48 years old.

I went home sad, not mad. He's a great guy. I love him but there are many things going wrong.

Laurie :-(

anonymous

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 8:26am
What is wrong?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 8:38am
Oh honey, that bites.
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 9:08am

I'm sorry. Those feelings are hard especially when you love someone. But some differences are too difficult to overcome and when you are having your needs met that is hard. I do think sitting down and talking about what you want and need is important. I have no idea if you all can come to an understanding or not but I would at least give him the opportunity to meet you half way. Maybe there are things you can do to meet him in the middle too to make a better relationship for you both.

Hang in there.

Priscilla

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 9:59am

Wow, Laurie, I'm sorry to hear about this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 12:28pm

Thanks. I think that is a good idea. I have to figure out if its deal breakers or something I can put up with. Last night I drove home wondering if I'm too picky and no man will ever be good enough.

Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 12:31pm

Laurie;

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 12:35pm

My guess is that the inattentiveness is getting to you - the addiction to the crackberry, the watching a tv show vs. talking with you...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 12:37pm
I agree with this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 12:42pm

Hugs, Laurie!


From your previous post about not wanting to be affectionate/groped and now feeling irritated by his non response I can see that things have been building and you are generally unhappy/irritated with EMT. I think that happens...when you begin to feel unsatisfied wheen there are issues under the surface then smaller things seems really big and irritating, right?


Am I right in remembering that EMT is the one that had problem with spending time with the ex and ex gfs? I would think that that issue was enough to out a wedge in between you in the first place, and now it is the smaller things that keep piling up. I wonder of you fee unheard in the relationship. Thats a big thing for me. Being heard and validated.


When it's not right it's not right.. and maybe you can take a few days apart to sort things out? If your time away clears your mind and you want to end things then at least you have clarity?

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Tue, 12-30-2008 - 7:25pm

I was trying to have a conversation with him and was getting no response at all. It was like I was talking to myself. He was so absorbed in deal or no deal that I might as well not even have been there. Argh.

Laurie

anonymous

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