Is it creepy or just love?

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Is it creepy or just love?
15
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 8:59am

Ok, Mr. Jesus Sandals is STILL contacting me. He called me the other day because he'll be coming to town to see a mutual friend of our get married. We were supposed to go to the wedding together, but I am unsure if I will be going now because of my situation with J.

I told him on the phone that I don't know what more to say that I haven't already said to him. He begged me to please have lunch with him Saturday afternoon before the wedding to talk. The problem is, he still keeps emailing, calling, texting, even if I ignore him. Today he wrote again about how his vegetable garden is growing and when we come down to visit again he will have a fresh garden salad ready. GEESH! I'm starting to get really upset, but moreso a little creeped out that he is just PUSHING all of this so hard. Is it pure desperation? Like the kind that we do sometimes? Maybe he's just so in love and grasping at straws. What should I do? Meet him? My instincts say no, but maybe a good one on one eye to eye will get him to finally see that I am just NOT into him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 5:08pm

I went through a similar situation earlier this year with Mr.Houston. Incessant calls, emails, ugh it was awful. I finally wrote him a simple email that said "Your constant attempts at contacting me have left me very uncomfortable and I would appreciated if you not contact me anymore" I realized that sometimes people just cannot read your subtle signals of indifference and that its okay to set boundaries. He was crossing the line over and over and I let him cause I didn't want to seem like the mean witch who broke his heart. Once I stopped caring what he thought of me, things got better. Since that email, he has only contacted me twice which I consider progress.

Good luck!

-adc

Edit: This part of your email:

I had hoped one day we could have found that place where we once were as friends, but you have taken it to such extremems that I know it will not happen.

Is the stuff guys like this feed on. The tiniest glimmer of hope. DONT GIVE HIM HOPE. Just tell him "It's Over"




Edited 5/17/2007 5:15 pm ET by almostdoesntcount

-almostdoesntcount

 

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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 2:46pm
Update:
Ever since Friday, he has been harrassing me all weekend with text messages. He really has lost his mind. I am also thinking about changing my cell number in another week if this doesn't stop. Before I think of something that drastic, someone said I can block his number. Does anyone know how?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 3:03pm

I think if you call your provider, and tell them what you want to do, they should be able to help you. I know with landlines it's fairly simple, so I would think with cells it would be just as easy.

I'm fairly certain all you have to do is tell them you're getting harassing calls from such and such number, and they can make that number ring busy- so when he tries to call it simply dosn't ever get through and you don't even know when he's trying.

Good luck, keep us posted!

Moody, who hasn't ever had to block a call


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 3:51pm

Ugh- that really sucks!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-21-2007 - 4:21pm

Have you told him point blank that he has not to contact you? What are his messages about? Is it just small talk or is it super obessive/creepy/stalker?

BTW, phone companies have the ability to block. I avoided putting Mr.Houston on block only cause at least I could gage his attitude when he was calling/texting/etc. so I knew whether he was going off the deep end or just not grabbing a clue. The unknown is much more unnerving to me personally so thats why I never blocked.

-almostdoesntcount

 

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