it hurts

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
it hurts
56
Mon, 05-12-2008 - 11:51pm

I'm not going to lie... it hurts...


At 8:00 pm i called him to make sure plans had not changed.. he said we are all set to meet tonight.


But what happened???? I called at 11 pm when i was about to leave work.. his friend answered the phone and said he had passed out.. that he had a hard day at work and drank too many margaritas...


I said, are you sure he doesn't want me to wake him up... last time we had a miscommunication and i don't want another one... His friend said, "trust me he's out..." I said, "can i at least just get my camera? i really want it back..." His friend said let me look for it and i'll call you back. I said, okay call back because i don't want to wait all night.


His friend called back and said i can't find it.. i'll tell TG to call you tomorrow to give you back your camera... I said okay.


So i'm back at work.. no need to leave now.. i might as well just stay here and keep working...


It hurts. I'm mad.. BUT i'm not driving over to his house... yay for me... I could REALLY use a friend right now....!!!!!


So now, i think he's an alcoholic... i'm upset because he knew we were suppose to talk tonight but instead i think he purposely got drunk so he would have an excuse not to talk to me... OR he really did work hard (well, i know he did... and i know he got little sleep last night....) BUT at 8 pm, it was like yes yes let's talk tonight...


I guess he doesn't care...


I'll be alright!!!! I know this.. but it hurts tonight. My new plan is to assume we are broken up... not call him or text him.. and just sit back and wait for my camera.... he knows i want it back so i don't see the point in hounding him over it..


But sure he might call me tomorrow... I still may feel the need to talk to him ... ya know... to have that closure... but who am i kidding.. when is a breakup ever "no hard feelings...."


okay change of plans i did send a text.... i wanted to tell him a piece of my mind... i said "i don't hate you.. unless that's what you want.. i'm hurt... at this point i'm assuming we are broken up... no strings.. but i do need my camera back."


How was that????


Loonybunny


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:05am

Hugs, LB!!!!


But I have to agree with some of the points gal-malia made. I hate seeing you opening yourself up to some possibility of getting back together with TG so many times... when he is proving to you now- that he is not the same person he was being (pretending to be?) for the first month you guys dated.


He drank enough to pass out, KNOWING that you guys were supposed to meet up to talk about things?!?? How mature is that behavior? Don't expect scraps and say it's good enough! Raise the bar to a new level- and if TG can't meet up with it... then set yourself free by saying NEXT!


I do wonder why you are still hanging on for HIS decision whether this relationship continues or not. You really DO DESERVE BETTER than this, and don't wait for him to decide. If he does have alcoholic issues as you suspect he might have now- then you KNOW that isn't a ride you want to get in on! I know you must want better for yourself than that!


I'm not sure how you can get your camera back... but yeah- get that back, and let everything else go. Don't let him keep hurting you again and again. YOU have the choice and the power- to stop him from violating your emotions again.


This IS a support board, yes... but I also agree that sometimes a little honesty helps, too. Sure gal-malia could add a bit of a soft pillow to the words... but still- I know I can't just support you right back into a relationship that keeps hurting you. I say ditch him while the ditching's good. You really CAN get someone better than the way TG is. All the good stuff and without all the drama and confusion that this past week has brought.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-23-2007
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:06am

Mega Hugs from the state next door!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2006
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:15am
Lots of hugs to you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:22am

As always Shrimpy gives excellent advice as did Gal Malia.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:22am

His actions tell you a LOT. Remember "Look at what someone DOES, NOT what they SAY".


I think your text was good.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:55am

"Remember "Look at what someone DOES, NOT what they SAY"."

YEAH Rebecca - I always love that saying.

And Loony girl - see we are all rooting for you and we only want the best for you!! You deserve a guy who will treat you really well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:27am

I have to agree with Shrimps and with Isis for agreeing with CalMal, but I didn't know how to word it until Isis did: As always Shrimpy gives excellent advice as did Gal Malia.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:37am

it still hurts this morning... btw...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:43am

Yes it does hurt!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
In reply to: loonybunny
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 10:57am

(((((hugs)))) Loony - I am so sorry that you are going through this.

Rosecolouredspecs