It makes me angry!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
It makes me angry!
8
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 11:21am

It's summer time and the kids are out of school. Ex H called DD14 to see if she wanted to come spend some time with him. She said No way but DD 12 did. He said no! That she is too hard to handle and he just wanted time with the oldest! ( By the way our SON is the oldest and he won't even aknowledge his existance since he has severe autism) And he tells this to DD14 instead of talking to me about any of it! Can you imagine? Now DD12 is hurt and feeling left out! He has been in and out of their lives for the past 12 years and I am SICK of it! He at once point had no visitation rights with the kids and I feel like it would be best at this point to go back to court and get all that done again due to DD12 being disabled and not understanding and it not being healthy for her. No contact IMO is better than this in and out stuff and him not even seeing her!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 1:01pm

I am sorry you have to watch him hurt your kids like that. It sounds like he is way more immature than the kids and selfish to boot. I think I would go back to court to straighten things out financially for sure and if you feel it is in the best interest to protect the kids from him then by all means, fix that too!

I am sorry too that you have to be left with such a burden all on your own - that certainly couldn't be easy to have 3 kids and then one with autism and one who is disabled. Plus RNs work very hard.

Hang in there -

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 2:01pm

That would make me angry too!!! He's blatantly hurting his children and he doesn't even seem to care!


But you know that he is the one making his own bed with this one. He is the one alienating all THREE kids even though he might think he is only pushing away 2. Your DD14 is smart enough to see the truth about him and what he does... and he's already lost out. It's sad... but that seems to be what he is "asking for" by doing what he does. Even if he is clueless about it.


Hugs to you though! I think the kids will know for sure who they can depend on (you!) and when they are all older, even DD12 won't want to have anything to do with him because of how he treats them. His loss- big time. The kids will be sad about it, but I think they will learn that they are okay without someone like that in their lives.


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sun, 05-25-2008 - 4:08pm

Ugh- what a piece of work!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 12:36pm

Ds Was DX'd when he was three and a half. I knew something wasn't normal way before then but the dr's kept telling me not to worry. Finally I said look I studied autism in my last class in college and it fits my son to a T so they sent me to Riley and we got out diagnoses! Good to learn early to get early intervention!


DD12 has triple X syndrome which means she has 3 X chromosomes instead of two X she has three which causes a LOT of problems mental and physical. She was 7 before we got the diagnoses. She was in services early we all thought she was just mimicking her brother but by the time she got to kindergarten and still was way behind I knew. It was a horrid feeling to go through it all again, but we did and things just keep getting better!!! TY for asking!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 1:14pm

How frustrating not to get a diagnosis when you KNOW something isn't right!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 7:33pm
My heart really goes out to you for all you have been through - those were not easy times. I think this makes your exh even worse for his lack of empathy for you and them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Mon, 05-26-2008 - 8:37pm

(((((HUGS))))) to you cutefont!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-1998
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 5:57am
Good on you with persisting until you got a diagnosis.
I'm glad things just keep getting better, you deserve that!

 



Tracy