IS IT ME, or does this board seem a bit
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| Fri, 02-11-2005 - 6:35pm |
quiet lately! We used to have so much to write about and so much stuff to talk about. It just seems that in the last months it's been unusually quiet. What's up? Any ideas to perk this board up again? What happened to Wednesday Woes or otherwise? We had some sizzling topics. We should try to sizzle that up again. Try to post more about sexy topics or taboos, as well as what's going on with our kids, our lives outside of dating and otherwise. AS WELL AS ALL OUR DATING EXPERIENCES. I'd like to see this happen more again. Not to discourage the newbies, but we used to post so MUCH in one day that I hardly see much of a change now. Let's brainstorm and think of daily stuff we could just post. Like Monday Minutes (from the weekend), Tuesday Tantrums/Tempers/Temptations, Wednesday Woes, Thursday Thrills, Friday Five. Then something for us Weekend lurkers; sexy saturday and sinnful sundays (lol). I hardly hear how anyone is doing outside of the dating. How are you handling your schedules, your job, your finances. The everyday worries of singlehood or the everyday joys of it and that of motherhood. The feelings aside from the dating. Can we boost this all up a bit. We had a very emotional post back in December and it seems alot has changed since then. I would like to see it change again. We all love each other, all support each other and I just get this feeling that alot of gut feeling (except for a few) is no longer being posted, but everything is being posted very carefully. I don't want to step on anyone's toe's, but does ANYONE get this feeling, or is it just me? Give me your update, brainstorm with me, let's get this board rollin again!
Huggin you all!
- Catherine

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Well all is quiet on the Western front so to speak. The holidays are passed us now, thankfully. And there doesn't seem to be any real crises for any of us, thankfully.
It is fun when this board is hopping, I agree. But it is good for everyone here that they are at peace, too.
I think the new board changes have caused a slower traffic rate - maybe Becky wants to confirm this with the powers that be? I know several have mentioned they had a hard time finding it when they knew it was there (for the ones who did not have it bookmarked).
I have nothing new to report - we are busy doing the school shuffle in my house. I am working zillions of hours on new projects - and I don't have anyone to date. I am relishing being single and in charge of my house, though.
I will try to think of some new topics and surveys.
And I am still pondering a good answer for your "special gestures" question, Catherine...
Hey! We had two newcomers today! That is a pretty good day.
But you are right, it's been quiet lately. I think it did this one other time since I came here. It just didn't seem to be there was much going on. I agree with west, it could be the ivillage changes. I've noticed the divorce board is so much busier (although, maybe it's normal to have increased volume right after the holidays) but the Child Support/Custody board is almost completely dead.
Also, I think Mel was having a new crisis almost every day with her new house, her son's school and her husband's job... that kept the board very lively for a while :). I know she's been posting elsewhere too, but I think she's just mostly busy living life and preparing for the baby (am I right Mel?).
I like your ideas, especially Tuesday Tantrums. I don't like to complain, but if there was in invitation I would try to take advantage. Can there be a day we complain about work? I had a crappy week at work this week. I used to have a very stressful job, but I gave it up after the divorce in the spirit of living my life for me... I'm really good at letting stress just roll right off my back but this week there was so much to do and I thought I felt I was screwing up big time. Then I went to yoga class last night (on accident, it was supposed to be a dance class) and I felt so relaxed when I woke up this morning. It was a really good (but busy) Friday.
Edited 2/11/2005 9:49 pm ET ET by firstamendment
I think that if you want those topics on here again, get them started! REALLY! I think it's great that you are looking out for the board and it would take some pressure off the CL's to keep it interesting. I know Bec has another board and Candi has a busy life and Bec has been pretty occupied herself lately with stuff outside of here. Start the thread and they will come. I bet it will trigger some interest.
Hugs!
Mel
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I am kind of a newbie here.
I lurk a lot. ;)
With the holidays
I think everyone is just getting over
the stress and the hectic pace of the
season.
I am a single mom
and recently started a new job
and it can be quite a challenge balancing
everything and still making time for yourself
to pursue outside interests.
Sometimes I am just too tired
to use the computer.
I think winter is draining
for me.
I just want to snuggle up in my comforter
and thats it lights out. lol :)
My b/f of almost nine months just blew
me off. No contact either by phone or in
person a week yesterday.
I decided to go out and enjoy myself last nite
something I haven't really done since meeting him.
I guess my feelings are pretty mixed
but I let him know how I felt about us.
I love him but after putting up with a lot of crap
I knew in my heart of hearts I had to tell him.
We have had alot of issues but my main one was another
woman who made our dating life hell in the beginning
of us dating.
How a man handles that says a lot.
He wouldn't stand up for me.
Not with regards to this OW or actually were two at first
but even his mother.
I want and deserve to be treated better.
My ex-husband used to play the SILENT TREATMENT game
but one day it didn't work anymore because I no longer cared.
My now one week yesterday ex b/f has blown me off
the last three or four week-ends since new years in a row.
It bothered me but I do have my dd and ds,
my dd b/f, my family my brother, my friends, a job, my cats and kitties
(four babies), my own apartment, so I do have a life with or without him.
It is just you miss the op, sharing together.
The longer it is harder. I am trying to be strong, my feelings are
angry, hurt and bewildered.
Someone told me be an adult and call him. I told this person who I will admit
I don't like to mind their own f***ing business. (sorry no offence meant)
I am assuming we are over because I had asked him where we stood.
I want more than he is able to give.
I wanted to know if our relationship had long term potential, a future.
He said he was hurt and insulted because I told him I feel I am nothing more
than a booty call, a f*ck friend or buddy, fwb a lay.
I want more.
He asked me to be his g/f when I had already thought I was.
An ex of his created a lot of problems for us but I feel he used
me to hurt her. To spite her.
Anyways thanks for letting me vent.
This post is getting kind of long but I am hurting today.
I am trying to keep my spirits up.
It is hard to date somebody that long and find yourself dumped
like that. I guess what hurts is I wouldn't have treated him that
way, I would have have the decency to tell him and in person not
over the phone.
Now I am left wondering and picking up the pieces.
I know I will be okay but the tears are streaming down my face
as I type this.
He will never see me cry.
I went out last nite. Met up with friends and actually had fun.
I guess I am just grieving the loss of what I thought was
MEANT TO BE.
thanks for listening
I feel a little better.
nightangel
I appreciated you responding.
I know I am not ready to start dating
but I know my life isn't over and I will
get through this.
Anybody I went with would only be a transitional person
and I don't want to hurt anybody.
It will just take some time.
Plan to keep busy. lol
maybe spend some time on me
again thanks
nightangel
aka Lorie
Lorie,
I don't know what it is about the Holidays or after the Holidays, but for some reason the men just FLEEEE. I wish I could give you a hug now and help you from hurting so much. Read that post about what an healthy/unhealthy relationship is. You are on the right track. You don't need to do this to yourself. 9 months is a long time. I've mourned over 2 weeks. It's ok. You don't have to try and have a great time when you want to just lay in bed and eat ice cream and crying your heart out. Let it happen. Don't let the pain of it all make you bitter. You can be angry and angry is good as long as you can let go and then move on. You made the right decision for yourself. Most relationships that start off on a bumpy road, end in a bumpy road. It's to much stress in the beginning and it just tends to escalate. Of course your keeping busy and that's good. Get together with your friends as much as possible, but even a night in at your house with the the ladies, eating a homecooked spaggetti dinner, a few glasses of wine and a few great sob movies is still the best method. Let it all out, punch a few pillows, spill tears. I once did the dinner thing, we bbq'd and I did this ritual of taking his picture and said everything I couldn't stand about him, my friends didn't really know him or some didn't know him at all, but they all made up funny stuff and chimed in and then we passed his picture around made a funny face out of and then burned it on the bbq, chanting the song " I will survive! " What a laugh and I felt sooo much better.
Big hugs sweetie and just hang out with us and let go of your frustrations. We all understand, we all have and go through it.
- Catherine
I love your survival BBQ story - you are such a riot! You always make me laugh!
I read your story and became sad for you. It stinks that he made you feel like that. And it really stinks when they just blow you off instead of letting you know how they feel. A lot of guys do that because they don't like confrontation. You are smart not to pursue - don't call - don't call!!
You deserve so much more than to be a booty call girl. You should be commended for speaking your mind and holding to your standards. Yes - you are worth so much more.
Just hang in there - each day will all of a sudden get easier. Your subsequent posts sound a little better and I can tell you have a great head on your shoulders. You will do much better the next time.
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