Is it poaching?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Is it poaching?
15
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 10:00pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: soonee
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 10:23pm

Not exactly sure if poaching is the term I'd use- but it's definitely unhealthy, IMO.


HE shouldn't be dating his current GF while keeping his string tied to Girl #1. He should date GF and cut that string... or keep the string and give it a shot- but let the GF go.


Girl #1 shouldn't keep that door open, either- KNOWING that he is in a relationship. If she really cared for him and his well-being and his happiness, she would leave it alone and not interfere. To even plant a seed of "if it doesn't work out, call me"... is deliberately trying to cause doubt in his mind, and that's bad. It doesn't matter if the 2 girls know each other or not! Why in the world would that even make a difference?!??


Girl #1 does NOT need to "stay on his radar". She needs to just let it lie... and mind her own business (and work on improving her OWN life that doesn't include messing up someone else's, for her own gain).


This just seems to cut-and-dry clear to me.


~shrimpy, with NO strings attached to anyone but one

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: soonee
Sat, 02-09-2008 - 10:55pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 3:39am

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 4:33am

"Shrimps, this one might have jangled a nerve with you because of the situation with Hiker's ExWife."


Huh? I'm not sure what you mean by that, but okay. Maybe it'll come to me sometime later.


But the door between Hiker and H-ex isn't open for renewal of a relationship, as it seems to be hinted in your original situation. She doesn't want him back, he isn't open to taking her back. And I'm not somewhere in the middle, keeping them apart or getting in their way. And even if I switched and tried to make myself the Girl #1... it doesn't make sense either.


I woke up around 2:30 am in a ball of hives/itches so I'm now medicated on Benadryl... and waiting for the itchies to stop. So maybe I'm not thinking clearly! But I do know... I'm off to do a middle-of-the-night workout just so I can stop thinking about the itches and stop scratching!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 4:37am

I think it is honest and keeps a door open. Dating is dating - and if someone is interested they can say so and see what happens.

But a long term relationship, engagement or marriage - that is to be respected of course.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 4:38am

Shrimps, I never meant to imply you were the other woman.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 4:58am

My biggest question is to you, Soonee... and West and Mark...


Just WHAT are you guys all doing up so late?!? You're all posting in the middle of the night!!


~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 5:04am

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 5:05am
LOL - I woke up starving and have to go ride 55 miles.....
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
In reply to: soonee
Sun, 02-10-2008 - 5:11am

It's funny that you guys posted only a minute apart...


Soonee- I hope you get to feeling a millions times better soon! Being sick is NO fun! We've all managed to bypass the flu so far. The kids have their sniffly noses and coughs, but nothing bad. **knock wood**


Judy!!! I'm laughing that you woke up starving

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

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