It still hurts to see the bully...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
It still hurts to see the bully...
24
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 11:58am

So I know Im supposed to remember how much i cant stand CP and beleive me i do. And i hate him truly for all of the crap hes put me through and continues to on a regular basis. Today is his day with DD and until 8 pm last night i was standing firm she was not going and then he called. I let it go to voicemail and checked and he was checking in to make sure we were still on for him to see her today and i didnt need to call back unless plans had changed and then he said thanks he was really excited about seeing her. So I got up at my normal 5 am and got ready for work. Got DD up and ready as always. Called him at 6:45 knowing full well he would not be up yet (tehehehehe) and he answered and was...polite. I said i just wanted to make sure you hadnt changed your mind , i didnt want to drive all the way up and have you say no. He assured me was not the case and again couldnt wait to see her. So i asked her when i got off the phone if she wanted to see daddy today and she absolutely squeeled with delight. So i dropped her off this morning and again he was polite to me and she was beyond excited when she saw him. He even handed me $20 for gas and i about fell over since he is ohhhhhh 8 weeks behind in CS. He showed me a paper from the IRS that said they deducted a small amount of his return for some back cs and told me i should get a check anyday (still holding my breath on that one). He smokes now from being with the wh*** and i told him he really needs to quit and then shut my mouth remembering its none of my concern as long as he doesnt smoke around DD. So what im getting at is it still hurts soooo much. I loved this man with every ounce of my being and im absolutely crushed. Thought I was starting to heal but it still stings like hell and no amount of smothering by the prince is going to make it stop. Ugghhhh I need

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 12:18pm

It gets better!

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 12:29pm
Thanks...reading yours could have been our story. I want to be able to forgive him but i hate him right now and my heart aches for DD because she adores him. I guess thats what little girls do until they learn what jackasses their fathers are on their own.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 1:16pm

M-


I know you're feeling bad- darn him for opening up the wound! I know it seems strange, to feel hurt over some one who was such a jerk. But you did love him once and so I know there is still pain.


Time will heal- like April said...she was able to get past it...but it took time.


You're so wonderful and strong and capable...you will get past the hurt. I like the idea of reminding yourself why you parted. That might help to turn to pain into a renewed sense of relief he is gone..outta your life.


Biggest hugs. And Mucho chocolattes....


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2006
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 1:29pm

~Karen
˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡&#1244
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 6:04pm

one for YOU....hoping you're feeling better.


is this not the cutest puppy ever?


~Pacific~
~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 6:23pm
UGH - you poor thing momlittlestar - but I do agree with April - make that list. Then allow yourself time to mourn the loss. When you can realize he gave you all he had but it was not enough (to say the least) and you can forgive his incompetence then you will be better. It just takes time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 04-22-2008 - 6:37pm

Awww Sweetie. Im sorry it was hard for you. Dont let it get you down. It IS normal. I mean we married these guys, they fathered our children - & that "dream" of the life we thought we would have (or had), is now gone.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 9:22am

You know if was squashed the moment I picked her up. He was DRUNK and the whore was on the porch smoking a cigarette. When I looked up and saw her i said what the hell is going on with you. Stop playing games with peoples lives. cant you for once tell the truth about something and then he turned and i saw his squinty eyes and smelled the barrel of booz on his breath. I mean WTF???? I questioned him about being drunk and he started in on me. He turned to DD and said whats a

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 9:25am
thank you...hes just mushable...much needed!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Wed, 04-23-2008 - 11:22am
thanks...but you better make it an entire bag of them...LOL

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