It still hurts to see the bully...
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| Tue, 04-22-2008 - 11:58am |
So I know Im supposed to remember how much i cant stand CP and beleive me i do. And i hate him truly for all of the crap hes put me through and continues to on a regular basis. Today is his day with DD and until 8 pm last night i was standing firm she was not going and then he called. I let it go to voicemail and checked and he was checking in to make sure we were still on for him to see her today and i didnt need to call back unless plans had changed and then he said thanks he was really excited about seeing her. So I got up at my normal 5 am and got ready for work. Got DD up and ready as always. Called him at 6:45 knowing full well he would not be up yet (tehehehehe) and he answered and was...polite. I said i just wanted to make sure you hadnt changed your mind , i didnt want to drive all the way up and have you say no. He assured me was not the case and again couldnt wait to see her. So i asked her when i got off the phone if she wanted to see daddy today and she absolutely squeeled with delight. So i dropped her off this morning and again he was polite to me and she was beyond excited when she saw him. He even handed me $20 for gas and i about fell over since he is ohhhhhh 8 weeks behind in CS. He showed me a paper from the IRS that said they deducted a small amount of his return for some back cs and told me i should get a check anyday (still holding my breath on that one). He smokes now from being with the wh*** and i told him he really needs to quit and then shut my mouth remembering its none of my concern as long as he doesnt smoke around DD. So what im getting at is it still hurts soooo much. I loved this man with every ounce of my being and im absolutely crushed. Thought I was starting to heal but it still stings like hell and no amount of smothering by the prince is going to make it stop. Ugghhhh I need

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It gets better!
April
M-
I know you're feeling bad- darn him for opening up the wound! I know it seems strange, to feel hurt over some one who was such a jerk. But you did love him once and so I know there is still pain.
Time will heal- like April said...she was able to get past it...but it took time.
You're so wonderful and strong and capable...you will get past the hurt. I like the idea of reminding yourself why you parted. That might help to turn to pain into a renewed sense of relief he is gone..outta your life.
Biggest hugs. And Mucho chocolattes....
~Karen˙·٠•●♥Ƹ̵̡Ӝ
one for YOU....hoping you're feeling better.
is this not the cutest puppy ever?
Awww Sweetie. Im sorry it was hard for you. Dont let it get you down. It IS normal. I mean we married these guys, they fathered our children - & that "dream" of the life we thought we would have (or had), is now gone.
You know if was squashed the moment I picked her up. He was DRUNK and the whore was on the porch smoking a cigarette. When I looked up and saw her i said what the hell is going on with you. Stop playing games with peoples lives. cant you for once tell the truth about something and then he turned and i saw his squinty eyes and smelled the barrel of booz on his breath. I mean WTF???? I questioned him about being drunk and he started in on me. He turned to DD and said whats a
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