It still hurts to see the bully...
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| Tue, 04-22-2008 - 11:58am |
So I know Im supposed to remember how much i cant stand CP and beleive me i do. And i hate him truly for all of the crap hes put me through and continues to on a regular basis. Today is his day with DD and until 8 pm last night i was standing firm she was not going and then he called. I let it go to voicemail and checked and he was checking in to make sure we were still on for him to see her today and i didnt need to call back unless plans had changed and then he said thanks he was really excited about seeing her. So I got up at my normal 5 am and got ready for work. Got DD up and ready as always. Called him at 6:45 knowing full well he would not be up yet (tehehehehe) and he answered and was...polite. I said i just wanted to make sure you hadnt changed your mind , i didnt want to drive all the way up and have you say no. He assured me was not the case and again couldnt wait to see her. So i asked her when i got off the phone if she wanted to see daddy today and she absolutely squeeled with delight. So i dropped her off this morning and again he was polite to me and she was beyond excited when she saw him. He even handed me $20 for gas and i about fell over since he is ohhhhhh 8 weeks behind in CS. He showed me a paper from the IRS that said they deducted a small amount of his return for some back cs and told me i should get a check anyday (still holding my breath on that one). He smokes now from being with the wh*** and i told him he really needs to quit and then shut my mouth remembering its none of my concern as long as he doesnt smoke around DD. So what im getting at is it still hurts soooo much. I loved this man with every ounce of my being and im absolutely crushed. Thought I was starting to heal but it still stings like hell and no amount of smothering by the prince is going to make it stop. Ugghhhh I need

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You know what though? I would see this as some sort of divine intervention or the universe saving you the trouble of feeling anything for this man. Feel lucky that you only had a small lapse back on the empathy train and then you were granted the opportunity to be yanked back forever into reality. You needed that yank maybe and NOW you can see straight forever and never look back - just forward with your precious DD.
Let us know how the lawyer responds. You are right to fight tooth and nail....
You know you are so right about divine intervention. Im not a religious person by any means. Lost my faith a long long time ago and then sometimes its the little nudges that i get from somewhere. ive been so fortunate really for everything thats been happening and im sure more to come. Its always when it seems darkest or most painful that theres a little light. My mom seems to think im wrecked over the fact that he was an absolute jerk about "getting engaged" but i keep trying to tell hurt nope its about the drinking around DD. I could really give a rats ass if they marry have kids do whatever they do. Now im pissed and have had my fill of his games. Hes a vengeful mean spirited ruthless individual and shes just a whore with no place in my life. With his saying the things he did and acting the way he did in front of DD again it just tells me hes doing the same when im not in the picture and DD doesnt need a cancer in her life. Shes a happy healthy smart baby and shes only going to grow into a more beautiful person as she grows...with or without her biological father in her life and i need to remember that. Ive been beating myself up thinking she is going to be "damaged" without her father but i now know shes not.
Getting sole custody should not be such a battle when the other parent clearly is not a good addition to the childs life. SO FRUSTRATED WITH THE LEGAL SYSTEM...UGGHHHHHHH
:0(
I almost had said in my post .... just give it a day or 2 & he will remind you why you arent with him.
Im SO sorry. & by ALL MEANS ... you do just what you said you are doing. She CANNOT be with someone who is drunk. Stay strong. (((hugs)))
Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
You know I was thinking about you this morning and wondering how you are not totally exhausted by the constant legal battle with your ex...then I looked in the rear view mirror at DD while I was driving her to daycare and i had my answer. You just do it and move forward inch by inch..penny by penny. My mom said to me last night youre not the only one thats gone through this and you wont be the last....aint that the truth lady...doesnt make it any easier to swallow
Getting sole custody should not be such a battle when the other parent clearly is not a good addition to the childs life. SO FRUSTRATED WITH THE LEGAL SYSTEM...UGGHHHHHHH
It should not be but it is. The legal presumption that two parents are better than one is often correct, but not when an abuser is involved!!
It took me three years and thousands of $ to get sole custody. I had mountains of evidence from DCFS, the exs criminal convictions for DV and her serious mental health history. She was still able to demand a full custody evaluation. In less than three months the evaluator came down solidly on my side saying I should get full custody.
Yikes!
Thanks Mike...Hes already been through random drug testing which im assuming he passed since the court never contacted me about (he fully admitted to being a drug addict in court saying he was clean and sober...MY ASS) He wont get a lawyer which is good in my favor i guess although its so costly when he plays opossum and puts it on me and acts like he doesnt understand-a because-a his english-a is-a not so-a good-a (yeah hes been in this country since he was 13 and he knows enough to be verbally abusive and get what he wants out of the system). My mom says getting DYFS involved could backfire and bite me in the a$$...yeah she also was against me getting a lawyer to begin with...Sometimes mothers dont know what they are talking about. Im just drained...and feels like im losing my sense of humor through all of this. Now im just sitting here staring at my cell phone trying to will my lawyer to call me back...im just tired of it all taking so long. Patience is not one of my virtues...I have a few ;0) but patience is a definite no-no when it comes to old carrot pants and his games.
Thanks for the well wishes again! Glad to know it worked in your favor after the long haul...
M
The only way DYFS could backfire against you is if you have done something they need to take notice of. The closest
Hi Sweets - sorry I'm chiming in late, but just wanted to let you know I feel your pain.
Hugss to you. Breakup and separation is hard even if it is from a jerk whom you once loved.
I have thrown people away from my life but not for reasons anywhere close to this..So I mourned for long long time..and may still think fondly of them since it was reasons beyond anyones control.
CP is absolutely a jerk.. good that you saw him drunk and the woman smoking with your eyes.. It gives me a shiver to think your kid was with them in that state.. she doesnt have to see that. Do anything you can to keep her away from both of them. I am assuming that once he marries this OW he will be busy with her problems.
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