Is it unghosting weekend around here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Is it unghosting weekend around here?
12
Mon, 09-01-2008 - 10:14pm

Strangely enough I have my own unghosting story to tell. When I 1st came here I had just started dating Chefguy. We went out on a date and I thought that it would be 1 of many...boy was i wrong. He totally ghosted. Well i usually leave people's number in my phone for a while about a month or so then delete. Well i finally deleted chefguy's number out my phone and 2 days later he calls. At first I wasn't sure who it was. I mean I haven't talked to him or anything in a month or better.


Anyway, we caught up after

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 09-01-2008 - 11:08pm

Hmmm... while it is good news that he called and had a good reason to ghost on you... is it truly wise to take off to his beach house for the weekend? You barely know the guy and he's not really starting with a great track record since he dropped off the planet after the first date.

So... how well do you really know this guy who is offering to take you out to the beach house?

My gut says that this guy should be proving himself, showing you that's he reliable and not too busy to have you in his life. Sure, it's fun to get away for the weekend without the kids- but what if he ghosts again right after? I know that *I* wouldn't feel very good about myself if that happened. To me, one apology call after a month+ of no contact would not be enough yet.

The boy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 12:35am

Unghost for me too...


HC is back, or trying to be back. He gave this excuse of "WHAT? I said I was going out of town for work!" I'm like uhh yah for a week, that was like three weeks ago lol. Anyway, I told him I wasn't angry.. just not going to chase a ghost. He was like.. I did not go ghost on you! lol


Anyway.. I dont have good vibes off HC.. not sure what it is now but I'm not feeling it.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 1:20am

Beach house = sex after not hearing or seeing each other after one month and one date.

My take is that after having sex with you he'll feel free to repeat his ghosting behavior for that seems to be a common pattern with men after having non-emotionally connected sex.

Mark





We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb







iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 8:32am

"My gut says that this guy should be proving himself"


Ditto!


I personally dont think there is any good reason to ghost. I mean how much time does it take to send a quick email or a quick call?! Communication is what makes or breaks a relationship. EMT got extra points for communication while he was away. He's been superb about it all along too.


I would be leary about the 'been busy' reason too. He could have been busy or he could have been pursuing someone else and that failed so now he's back.


Be careful.


Laurie

anonymous
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 1:27pm

you have a very good point about something else not working out. If that's the case then who am I to judge.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 1:42pm

Well that is an interesting un-ghosting story!


Use cation... he could be taking you for granted ( no contact for a month then wham, lets head to the beachouse). I guess that I would want to maybe go to dinner or meet at a neutral place first and get reaquainted? How many times did you go out before he ghosted?


Sorry- my caution light is going on and I'm just advising you be careful with your heart, OK? If he ghosted once he can do it again.

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 1:45pm

I also think that two adults

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-15-2008
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 1:54pm
oooh - good luck - hopefully Hanna will just pass on by.

JH

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 3:30pm

"But for some reason I feel the need to go out with Chefguy again either just to see if its workable or not."


And THAT is fine, in my books- nothing wrong with taking it up again.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-02-2008 - 4:24pm
Honey be excited if you want to, there is nothing wrong with that or giving him another go round.
 

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