is it worth the cost of a sitter?
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is it worth the cost of a sitter?
| Mon, 10-13-2008 - 3:16pm |
I know.. an age old question for single moms. Is the outing \ occasion \ date worth the cost of a sitter?
I found several weekend sitters in my area. Several willing to come to my home so that i can have a night out and not worry about packing the children in the car late at night. BUT the cost..
So.. here's the outing... Halloween carnival. I've been there only once years ago

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Hey you!!
I just went back and found/read the post from the recent talks with MM. Its good that he is communicating with you honestly. Thats that good part. And I still think he's really into YOU.
My only red flag here is that in his honesty he said he's not sure about dating someone with kids. I know.. he has the right to be unsure. That is fine. But I am feeling worried for your heart. I sort of see his statement as a disclaimer of sorts. LEtting you know up front, you know?
I wouldn't stake your fun and going/not going on MM. If
My rule is to go out for the event not for the person.
thanks for all the support. i don't know what's really up with me but i need the support right now.
good advice about not going for someone else. On the one hand, i want to go for me cuz it will be loads of fun. on the other, with the little time that i will have for going out, i wanted to see MM. Now if he wasn't going, maybe that would be even better ya know.. just fun, and no distraction. I've been crushing on MM for a couple months now. Had a feeling that he was crushing on me too. Then he finally started showing interest and it took forever for him to ask me out. Then several dates before he finally kissed me. Geez, what a turtle.
As for your question about the "other" woman. She's
I want to be supportive here.. So please don't take offence if it doesnt come across that way.
I have a feeling he like you BUT.. you are not what he thought he wants as a life partner.. Some one with 5 kids and had 2 Exes.. It has nothing against you.. But may be just doenst fit well with him and he is taking it slow.. On the other hand.. you are a great person and fun - which is why he would have started expressing himself.
Like pac said, I think you have the right to choose too. He is not the only guy in this world. There may be great single dads out there who wont have any problem with you having kids.
One of the great qualities that a mom has or should have is the fact that she wont put anything above her kids.. Having babysitter once a week is not too bad.. But not for a guy who still as doubts about all these.
It is silly to feel threatened by a new chic..If he likes her let that be.. You cant force yourself on anyone..If not her, it would be some one else.. So far he sounds like a pretty cautious person with his life- that is good for him. But you dont have to sell your self esteem for that. Practicaly speaking, I don't think a guy who is never married and never had kids (is this right?) will be happy to suddenly go with a large family. May be there is one rare person out there who might.. But this guy seems too cautious and all that for that.
May be you should stop worrying about him and focus on your kids -It is far worth that spending time drinking or partying till late.. But when you want to have fun- just go and have fun. Not for this guy.
Let him be jealous of you.. may be you should just back off and get busy with your life and he will be left wondering why!
hey, thanks. I'm not offended. what you say makes a lot of sense.
i think in my head and heart i will put him back in the friend box. that way i'm not feeling empty but rather feeling full. because i have made MANY new friends over the last couple months. I will try to focus on the positive. I've drained myself with overthinking, that it's finally taken it's toll and my mind needs rest.
Loonybunny
Hey, do a Craigslist post for swap out childcare! I did this a while back and got a couple interests. Find someone near you and that you're comfortable with.
I agree with Moving and Mark- go to the meetup only if you want to go to the meetup, not because MM may/ may not be there. It's not a date between the two of you or he would've stated so, right?
And I fully agree with Dance about MM not seeing you as a life partner. When you posted about him being unsure about the kids and that relationship having no expectations or obligations, that made me feel like he's stating at the beginning he doesn't want you to have any hopes of anything from him.
I think it's time you step back from the idea of dating and figure out what you want: fling or partner, long term or short term, marriage or dating, etc. I believe part of your confusion and "flusteration" lately is because you're running around like a chicken with it's head cut off and unsure where to go!
Like Cat, you need to step out of the picture and decide what LOONY wants, because for the last year with "Leo, Sean, TG, Hottie2... even Hottie 1, Alaska, and the Detective" you've been following their lead and their interest. What about what YOU want? What YOU are interested in? What YOU are looking for?
Do you want to be married again? Do you want more children? Do you want a fling with a hottie or a long term investment? Do you want to have family outings with your bf or keep dating life separate for 2 yrs of dating? Start with you and go from there.
As for the other woman at the meetups, well- if MM is interested, there's nothing you can do about it. I think that putting him back in the friend pile is best, since he's made it clear that he's not interested in long term with someone who has children.
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