it's like jumpin, it's like leapin'
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| Thu, 03-22-2007 - 4:26pm |
it's like walkin on the ceiling, it's like floating, it's like flying through the air, it's like soaring, it's like gliding, it's a rocket ship you're riding, it's a feeling that can take you anywhere, so why they call it falling, why they call it falling, why they call it falling I don't know....
I don't even know where to start. About two weeks ago, as I'm getting ready to tell myself that dating is off limits for a few weeks, I met a man through Match that I'm simply going to call J. I can't think of any witty or clever names for this one, but he is- both witty and clever.
We begin IMing, and I know better than to put much stock in the flavor of those conversations. You won't believe the things we have in common- we share a birthday, we have the same job description, and HOLY COW the sense of humor is EXACTLY the same.
So, after a couple of days we progress to the phone, and all is well. The connection is even more apparent on the phone. Having only seen a Match picture, I don't fully know what he looks like, but I was so intrigued by his personality it didn't matter much.
Last night we stayed up all night- literally, talking on the phone. The conversation never lulled, and we made each other laugh with our mutual sarcasm- he's EXACTLY the type of personality I need. He's funny and smart, gives back to his community, handy, has a wonderful dog that he loves, and lives in the town next to mine. J is divorced, no kids, 34, drives a big honkin' pickup truck, and absolutely is a male version of myself in many ways. We have a LOT in common, and our differences are things we joke about instead of getting frustrated with.
Today he had the day off from work and came to visit me, very impromptu, at work. We had talked earlier, he asked if it was okay, and I agreed that it would be, but that since I was the only one here I wouldn't be able to leave my desk for very long. I was nervous, since as you all know, I tend to have great connections with people initially, and really, I wanted to enjoy this fun, tingly, squishy feeling a while longer before he ran off. I also had no sleep last night, and am feeling a little punchy.
So, he comes, I meet him outside, and he's SO good looking. Taller than me in my tall shoes while I was standing on a curb and he was on the pavement in the parking lot. We chatted for a minute, not nearly as awkward as I was worried about. His picture did not do him justice, and I only hope he was as attracted to me as I am to him.
We had made mention of meeting Saturday night, when he was here I invited him in to have a cup of coffee, and after a minute I jokingly said "So, have you decided to scratch Saturday and never speak to me again?" He said, "No, not at all, this was definitely worth the drive."
SO, after a little bit, he leaves, and I come back inside to find a single rose on my desk. How perfectly sweet, charming, and disarming.
Now, I'm scared to death. With Spec, with Boss, with every other guy I've ever known, I liked them, they seemed to like me, and we had some things in common. Often we made each other laugh and had fun together, but I have honestly never felt like I was talking to someone who could be me, only male. I also never realized exactly what that "it" was I was looking for- until I realized during our first phone conversation that I may have found it. Having met him in person, I worry now that he won't find me as attractive as I find him, that he isn't as into me as I am him, and that I wasn't what he was expecting.
I am wowed. I have been in like, in lust, and nearly infatuated fairly recently, but I can honestly say I've never felt like this. Ever. I'm petrified. It's a good thing, mostly, since now I completely understand why people continue to date. IF he is gone forever, I will enjoy the fact that I had a great time the past couple of weeks, getting to know him, and take comfort in knowing there ARE men out there with exactly the personality and character traits I am looking for. If there's one, there's bound to be others.
I am really viewing my recent dating habits as a staircase. If we start with the first guy, he had some things I found attractive and many I found annoying. Then there was Boss who had many qualities I lacked, but even as I was realizing he probably wans't right for me long term, he disappeared. Then there were several other guys, same thing. Spec had more of what I was looking for, but not quite everything. Each man in my recent history has been a step closer to being exactly what I was looking for, and from all appearances, J is that guy. I hope I'm that girl for him.
I know not to put too much stock into it, and obviously I have had wonderful rapport with men and never heard from them again. I haven't ever felt schoolgirlish and nervous and tingly and excited and willing to lose sleep for a guy and so.... charmed by one in, well, ever. Squishy is a good, good thing.
Moody, scared and nervous and happy and giddy and calm and serene and... emoting

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I like your staircase analogy - I think that is very true for all of us.
And your message starts of with a bang - very upbeat. I don't know how you can function with no sleep - you have to give us your secret!! I am like toast all day and I had 6 hours - thought THAT was bad - LOL!!
Anyway, yes, time tells all - so keep us posted. This one seems unexpected and that can always be nice for sure.
You certainly have not had a lack of interest!!
As far as the sleep thing goes, I need very little. In fact, if I get 6 hours, I'm groggy and sluggish, often wake up with a headache, and it just isn't good. I typically get about 4 hours a night, broken into one and two hour bits. It just is the way I am. Also, I think I'm flying high on a wave of euphoria right now, and I definitely polished up my rose colored glasses, so everything's sunny and bright.
J IMed me this evening while I was still at work, and he brought up this little tidbit- see if it sounds familiar. "I can't help but wonder 'now what', since normally I think I have a great connection with someone, and then suddenly, I never hear from them again. I'm kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop with you, since I feel an even stronger connection, it seems like it'll be even faster than normal for you to disappear."
I could have written that. I have certainly felt it, and recently. Now, I know I need to slow down and not rush in, but I simply can not help but FEEL with J, about J. I'm not saying I'm in anything other than the first stages of a wonderful crush right now, but the way we interact is simply priceless, as I have honestly NEVER connected as easily with someone as I do him. This one's gonna hurt if it crashes and burns.
Anyhow, he asked when he could see me again, and after discussing our plans, J ended up coming over tonight, we sat on the couch, no tv, no movie, no music, and talked. And laughed- at and with each other, which is exactly my style- and his. There was no touching, other than the casual thing. No kiss. It's perfectly all right. It's wonderful, in fact. He has to get up early, and left after spending about 2 hours here. The conversation is great enough that if we weren't potential romantic interests I could definitely see us being friends. And friendship is how we're starting, since there's been nothing physical. I'm so proud of us! (well, me mostly)
He just IM'ed me- "that was nice, hope you enjoyed it as much as I did". I don't feel like I need to hold back with J the way I did with Spec. I'm glad I held back with Spec, but I can not explain to you all how much alike J and I are- it really is uncanny. I've never believed that opposites attract, and if I had, I'd believe it even less now. Even though we don't agree about everything, the way we disagree is exactly the same.
I remember with boss, with double d, with spec, with every other guy I've met once and decided against seeing again that I always found an issue, a potential problem. The guys were the ones who eventually (or immediately) disappeared, but maybe it was because I was giving off a "no-go" vibe.
There are no potential issues with J so far- the distance, the job, the life plan, the family values, the desire (or lack thereof) for children, the fact that he's making time for me without being pushy, the fact that our interests are similar... it's green green green....
One more thing, and then I'm going to go crash with a smile on my face. Most of you have figured out by now that music is my thing. I play the sax, took violin and piano, and just generally believe that music feeds the soul. J also took music lessons, dabbled in a couple of different instruments, and realized his artistic bent was art. He can't play a note, I can't draw a stick figure, yet we're both drawn to the creative, sort of artsy side of the other. He's also well read, and we were comparing notes on Shakespeare for a while tonight, then playfully argued the merits of other classic novels. It is definitely an intellectually stimulating experience, talking to J.
Right at this moment, I'm not sure I could be happier.
Moody, squishy and sparkly and shimmering
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Moody,
I think we are in similar places, though this is first guy I have dated, have emailed a few only to find diffences too many to make it worth the date. Then heres D - I get a little skeptical and then out of the blue I get a phone call or email from him that makes me feel all excited all over again. We can talk to no end, lunch "meets" too short, can't wait to have more time together to get to know each other...
Wishing you the best with J-
Faith
That is so very cool, Moody!!! And what's scary is- many of the descriptions you give, sound like the exact thoughts and descriptions I had for Hiker when we were first meeting and dating. It's like I could just feel how he is different from me but yet an extension of me.
So it's scary and exciting, but at the same time, SO very cool. I'm thrilled to hear this, and I hope he doesn't ghost on you! Only time will tell, and as usual... have fun in the meantime.
~shrimpy, who is still bowled over by Hiker even after 1.5 yrs, and quite Squishy as well
~shrimpy
"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.
~<
Good for you. I hope this is good. I wish I was having as much luck. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
Let us know how Saturday goes. I will have to live vicariously through you. Details will be important.
Priscilla
Injoy those squishy feelings.
I love that squishy feeling. I still get squishy every time I get an e-mail or a text from Monkey, and we live together.... I wish that for each and every person on this board.
Clem xx
Aha! Moody... so this is where you have been hiding!
Wow, it sounds very soul-matey to me. It's so fab to hear you sounding so enthusiastic - I remember when you were writing about Spec that I thought you sounded a bit tepid. I thought at the time I was reading too much between the lines, and I didn't really dare say anything as I didn't want to take the wind out of your sails... and actually the introducing you to all his family did freak me out a bit. What is the situation with him now? Have you come to some sort of arrangement or agreement?
Anyway, I love what you write about J. I think it is wonderful that you are being carried away on a tide of happiness, and long may it continue! The staircase analogy is great - I totally agree that all the mistakes we make in the past lead us to another level; I dated two men after my divorce, and before I met Monkey, and neither were even in the same league as Monkey.
Hope you have a great weekend - don't forget us, as we are all dying to hear the follow-up.
Clem xx
Here's to that squishy feeling! I'm routing for you, because it sounds like
your past experiences have prepared you for this.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Thank you, Shrimpy (and I missed you!!), I think. I'm scared to think that J might maybe be "the guy", but it's also incredibly exciting to think of him at all. I have certainly had chemistry with people before, and enjoyed spending time with them, but I've never felt so intellectually stimulated- and I think it's definitely true that the brain is our largest erogenous zone!!
I just got done talking to a girlfriend, and in telling her about him, I thought that she'd probably heard this about a million times- about every guy I have ever dated. When I mentioned this to her, she said, no your tone is different, and usually you're telling me that you like a guy but there's something major different or wrong (distance, children, career plans, etc) about him, and that isn't the case this time.
So, I am still feeling like this is a good thing, and I'm constantly smiling when i see the beautiful flower.
Moody, sparkly
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I think you're absolutely right about my feelings about Spec. I had to be talked into going to meet him the first time, and he was so much fun, but I think I knew that because of the distance and our personalities, fun was all he would ever be. That would have been wonderful if I didn't have kids and was willing to drive to see him at the drop of a hat and only wanted to have fun, but he wasn't a life mate.
As far as meeting his parents, I wasn't bothered by that simply because I think, even while I was having fun with him and did like him, I knew that that was all it would ever be, so naturally it didn't matter to me if he introduced me or not. I wasn't trying to impress anyone, which is a trait I am going to continue to have, I hope, but I also didn't really make an effort to get to know Spec, either. We talked about general things, goals, desires, but I have no idea what his favorite type of food is.
We don't have a situation, I sent him a message asking him to please mail me the earrings I left at his house, and I haven't heard from him, or contacted him in a couple of weeks. I'm actually glad, since it takes the decision out of my hands, and makes my life so much easier not having to decide whether or not I was inot him enough for the distance to be a problem.
Moody, weeding them all out
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