Hi Jennie, I just wanted to comment that I always find your posts so thoughtful AND thought provoking. It sounds like you are doing great things with your life for you and your daughter. You are a very strong person. And I really admire the way you have been handling the situation with J. So many could learn from your posts. I know if I had been reading them several years ago, I could have learned so much from you as I went through a very similar loss of relationship.
I'll be joining you this November. I'll turn 35. I lost my father unexpectedly but not by the same circumstances. Still I know the pain of losing a father and having to deal with the turmoil of not only the loss and pain, but the reality of afterwards...my dad made a few mistakes, never with ill intentions, but it was a huge wake up call for me. At an age where I should have been preoccupied with avoiding my own messes, I was forced to clean up his. As a result, I made a pledge that I would lead a better life, not inspite of him, but in honor of him. And I am making it happen. I think come November I will look back and see alot to be proud of...and more goals to work on too. I think despite my fathers illness, suffering, etc...he is at peace now, and if there's any chance he can see me down here, I am giving him something to be proud of...proof that his existence was not in vain.
By the way, I also have a daughter. Mine is 9 though. I won't have any more children. I met a wonderful man who came with three of his own (all boys) and together we have since decided that more children would be the wrong choice for us. But to meet him and make a happy life I had to be capable of letting go of "him"-the one that I loved and thought was IT for me, but due to his circumstances, couldn't give me a committment or even a promise of a real relationship. I let him leave me...while at the same time wanting to hold on to him with my last breath. I let him leave, but it was a long time after before I let him go.
It looks to me like you've made it to the let go stage. And I just want to say congratulations! Because from here on, you'll be ready for the right one when he comes.
Happy Birthday, Jennie!! And welcome back from your vacation. I can tell from all of your posts that your time away did you a world of good - you sound so good and so strong.
I am proud that you didn't answer when J called - isn't that a great feeling when you can set boundaries and respect yourself?!
While I never felt bothered by turning 35, I did freak when I turned 40 so I can relate. And you have the additional weight of your father's death and knowing that you are now older than he lived to be.
I think you have a bright future - you have done so many good things so far. How was your trip?
Do keep us posted about the Rollerblader!! Where are you going? Do you go into a tizzy about what to wear (I always do that!)?
Second, I agree with Gabriella. Your posts are always very thoughtful and make us all think. Your response to my post wanting support was wonderful, and thank you very much. You are a good example for me to follow, although I think you are stronger than I am right now. I was probably on hiatus from the board when you posted about what happened with you and J, so I don't know all the details. But it seems like you are handling the situation very well -- and starting to date as well.
I know Judy will tell you that age is just a number. I did relate to your post. My next milestone birthday is in November -- I will be 40. I can relate to what you are saying becuase I realize at 40 I probably will not have more children, and the way things have been going for me, I may never get married again. It will be 8 years in October that I have been by myself with my twins. I can't believe it. Time does make you more mature. I always wanted to have another child with a man who really wanted one; but if it doesn't happen, I am ok with that because I am real content with my life with the twins right now.
Hi Jennie,
I just wanted to comment that I always find your posts so thoughtful AND thought provoking. It sounds like you are doing great things with your life for you and your daughter. You are a very strong person. And I really admire the way you have been handling the situation with J. So many could learn from your posts. I know if I had been reading them several years ago, I could have learned so much from you as I went through a very similar loss of relationship.
I'll be joining you this November. I'll turn 35. I lost my father unexpectedly but not by the same circumstances. Still I know the pain of losing a father and having to deal with the turmoil of not only the loss and pain, but the reality of afterwards...my dad made a few mistakes, never with ill intentions, but it was a huge wake up call for me. At an age where I should have been preoccupied with avoiding my own messes, I was forced to clean up his. As a result, I made a pledge that I would lead a better life, not inspite of him, but in honor of him. And I am making it happen. I think come November I will look back and see alot to be proud of...and more goals to work on too. I think despite my fathers illness, suffering, etc...he is at peace now, and if there's any chance he can see me down here, I am giving him something to be proud of...proof that his existence was not in vain.
By the way, I also have a daughter. Mine is 9 though. I won't have any more children. I met a wonderful man who came with three of his own (all boys) and together we have since decided that more children would be the wrong choice for us. But to meet him and make a happy life I had to be capable of letting go of "him"-the one that I loved and thought was IT for me, but due to his circumstances, couldn't give me a committment or even a promise of a real relationship. I let him leave me...while at the same time wanting to hold on to him with my last breath. I let him leave, but it was a long time after before I let him go.
It looks to me like you've made it to the let go stage. And I just want to say congratulations! Because from here on, you'll be ready for the right one when he comes.
Best wishes and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
gabriella
Happy Birthday, Jennie!! And welcome back from your vacation. I can tell from all of your posts that your time away did you a world of good - you sound so good and so strong.
I am proud that you didn't answer when J called - isn't that a great feeling when you can set boundaries and respect yourself?!
While I never felt bothered by turning 35, I did freak when I turned 40 so I can relate. And you have the additional weight of your father's death and knowing that you are now older than he lived to be.
I think you have a bright future - you have done so many good things so far. How was your trip?
Do keep us posted about the Rollerblader!! Where are you going? Do you go into a tizzy about what to wear (I always do that!)?
Edited 9/6/2005 9:07 am ET ET by cl-west1745
Thanks you guys.
Well, the rollerblader is a great kisser.
Bravo!! You are now controlling the whole show and making everything count for you!! I love all of these stories.
Keep us posted on your dates!! The Rollerblader sounds pretty good so far.
Jennie:
First, Happy Birthday!
Second, I agree with Gabriella. Your posts are always very thoughtful and make us all think. Your response to my post wanting support was wonderful, and thank you very much. You are a good example for me to follow, although I think you are stronger than I am right now. I was probably on hiatus from the board when you posted about what happened with you and J, so I don't know all the details. But it seems like you are handling the situation very well -- and starting to date as well.
I know Judy will tell you that age is just a number. I did relate to your post. My next milestone birthday is in November -- I will be 40. I can relate to what you are saying becuase I realize at 40 I probably will not have more children, and the way things have been going for me, I may never get married again. It will be 8 years in October that I have been by myself with my twins. I can't believe it. Time does make you more mature. I always wanted to have another child with a man who really wanted one; but if it doesn't happen, I am ok with that because I am real content with my life with the twins right now.
I hope you enjoyed your trip and your birthday.
Donna