It's raining men! hallelujah!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
It's raining men! hallelujah!
5
Fri, 03-09-2007 - 8:49pm

it's raining men! amen! I'm gonna go out to run and let myself get absolutely soaking wet..it's raining men, hallelujah, it's raining men, every specimen, tall blonde dark and lean, rough and tough and strong and mean.....

Well, well, well, well.

It seems that the secret to finding a date is to stop looking for one.... now where have I heard that before?! ;-)

So, I reactivated my Match account. Not for any real reason in particular, boredom, maybe, one night. I've gotten a few winks and emails, and I'm not trying to find a man, really. I'm definitely not getting to know them too well on the computer or phone before they suggest a meeting, since I've found that that only fosters a sense of intimacy that doesn't really exist.

Anyway, onto the recent men in my life...

Today, I met a guy for lunch that I'll get into more in a second. He's actually not from Match, but YP when I did that a long time ago. We never met, and only communicated for a couple of weeks way back when. I didn't think I was that into him, and then I got busy with other things and basically forgot about him. He called last week, and we agreed to meet today.

So, about him, who I'll call Beemer... since he drives one. All right, he's a grad student who is going to the Ivy league school in the collegetown where I work on a fellowship. He's also a mediator for the state regarding employers and what not. His background is human resources in major companies, and he worked for several throughout the country for eight years before deciding to pursue his master's. He's never been married, thirty five, and a different race. That last part only matters insomuch as I haven't ever dated anyone who isn't white, although I guess that doesn't matter all that much, just a fact about him. He's also white collar all the way, which is my opposite. If we worked for the same company, he'd most definitely be my boss. I drive a ford, and am happy about that. He drives a BMW. He's city, I'm country... He was well dressed, well mannered, well spoken, and laughed at all of my jokes. I'm not sure that means anything, since I swear, sometimes I could make a corpse laugh. It is important that a man have a sense of humor, but me finding him funny is usually more of an indicator of that than him finding me funny. I did find him funny, lunch was good, and he asked if I had plans for the weekend. I do, so he suggested a movie next weekend. I told him to call me, and the date ended with a hug goodbye. Very nice, not at all pushy.

Then there's CF (for cousin's friend) who called me tonight. He is a blue collar, 27 year old father of two. He actually works with a guy I grew up with (gotta love small town connections) and is best friends with my cousin's boyfriend. He was on his way to go snowmobiling, and we discussed having a game night with my cousin and her boyfriend on Sunday. I don't know if we're going to do that- my cousin's boyfriend is extremely shy and not great around people. I was driving when CF called, so we chatted for a minute, but I cut the conversation short since I don't use a handsfree device and don't want a ticket. He said he'll call tomorrow to finalize plans, either for a game night or for dinner. We'll see. I'm not stressing about it- either we'll go to dinner or have game night, or we won't.

Then, wonder of all wonders, there's Double D. I had to call him today for work, completely professional. I called from the work phone, and I'm sure he thought it was a supervisor calling. When I said, "Hi, Double D, this is Moody from 'place of employment'.", he said, "hey, Moody, tell me, what's up with you?" I quickly said "I'm calling for 'insert appropriate work reason here'" He replied, "Oh. Yes, that's a good reason to call, I'm glad you did." He sounded kind of bummed, and emphasized the YOU. I replied, "hey, that's what I do" (Inside work joke), and was getting ready to end the call when he says, "So, will you be working Sunday?",- which was the day I was calling about, and I said that I wouldn't. He told me to have a good night, and that he'd see me soon. We'll see about that. It was very obvious that he would have turned it into a personal call, but the line I was calling from is recorded, and frankly, I don't want to mix business with pleasure, especially not publicly. He never called or asked me out again after our third date, but he didn't tell me he would, either, so we'll see. I don't think I'm into him anymore, but if he asked again with no prompting from me, I'd probably go on at least one more date to see. I did always have a good time with him.

There's another guy at work, we'll call him MM, who I know is into me. A couple of our coworkers have been trying to hook us up, but I don't think I'm into him, as he's shorter than I am. It's so incredibly shallow, I know, but it simply is what it is. Yet another coworker asked if I'd be going skiing this weekend, and said if I was planning to be there on Sunday he'd buy me a drink. He makes it pretty clear that he's into me, but I also know he's coming with a lot of baggage and I'm not sure I want the drama, even if you discount the fact that we work together.

I exchanged Ims briefly with another guy, who also lives in the city Spec lives in, but he's 25, and a full time student with no kids, and I just don't see it going anywhere. He made noises about meeting, so I probably will just to see- there's no point in not giving him a chance.

There's another guy from Match, I'll call him Italian, who asked me to lunch today, but after I had already made plans with Beemer. Italian is just that, he's 28, no kids, never married, and works for the airline near my place of employment. He seems all right so far, but I'm just not sure... our conversations aren't sparking anything major for me, so I am sure I'll give him the chance of at least one meeting before I close the door but I can't seem to find the desire to meet him.

There's also still Cardio, who has mentioned meeting several times, and we'll see. He's 44, divorced, two kids, for a refresher, and lives and works in the town I work in. We'll see, again, I haven't felt the urge to engineer a meeting, but I do want to give him a chance, since we always have great phone conversations.

Now, for Spec. He's still in the picture, but I'm not hung up on him. We talked on the phone Monday and Tuesday, IMed both of those days and Wednesday, but I didn't contact him or him me yesterday or today. He made no mention of weekend plans, and even though I already have plans, he didn't know that. So, I'm not willing to be someone's every other weekend girlfriend, and unless he steps up to the plate pretty quickly, he'll be taken out of rotation. If I was still trying to date casually, this amount of contact with Spec would be perfect, but I'm not, and in order to be in a real relationship, I need daily contact and frequent dates.

In fact, I didn't have this many dates, potential dates, and men interested in me all at the same time when I WAS only looking to date casually. With Beemer, with CF and with MM I have made no mention of anything serious or the fact that I'm looking to be in a relationship. If one doesn't develop, it doesn't develop. I do know that with so many potentials, I won't be tempted to see any one of them too frequently, and the process of selecting one of them will be a little more complicated. Whatever will be, will be, though.

I've been doing the basics of the rules- no calling, he must plan ahead in order to see me, not being exclusive until we're committed, being busy... but only naturally. I have never been a big caller, and I AM busy- I have work, kids, a life, and if a guy wants to see me, he definitely has to plan ahead since I do. But I've also stopped talking so much so fast about the heavier topics. I answer any questions, but I basically let the man lead the conversation, and don't get into too much detail about things. I'm always honest, just not quite so open. So far, it seems to be working, at least insomuch as men are asking me out, calling me, and seem to be interested.

I'm definitely having fun, and my plans this weekend are to take the princess out to eat tomorrow night with my mom, then we're going with a couple of my girlfriends to see an ice capades type thing. Sunday I have a birthday party for my nephew in the afternoon, and the possibility of something with CF and my cousin in the evening.

Moody, who really needs a day planner, maybe a white-erase one!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 6:50pm

Phew- I made it to the end LOL!


Sounds like you're doing really well!


Let us know how things develop!




Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Sat, 03-10-2007 - 8:40pm

I absolutely adore your tone - I think this is the most important thing about your update - that you are worried more about what you get out of all this than trying to be stuck on one guy and pray he calls. Very good Moody! and so so so great that you are casually dating so many. I don't ever recall a post here ever that has had this many fish jumping at once. You see, there are a lot in the sea. And you are having a good day on the boat!!

Bravo - keep the updates coming.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 12:14am

Cracking up about the dry erase board ... THATS what the girls at work say they need to keep up my MY dates!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 03-12-2007 - 9:15am

WOW. You certainly have it going on. Good for you.

Priscilla

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 3:57am

Sounds like a lot of fun! So glad you are enjoying yourself, and being so popular! I am truly convinced that when we are casual that's when men's interest levels peak.

On the edge of my seat waiting to hear more news!

Clem xx