it's really bad

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
it's really bad
8
Fri, 09-03-2004 - 9:46pm
Guys...my mom's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's...she's always been a forgetful sort, but a couple of years ago it was getting to be something else. Last year they prescribed a medicine that she hasn't been taking because it hurt her tummy, but I only found out that they had gone from observing her to diagnosing and prescribing stuff to her a few days ago. She's been keeping me out of the loup, 'protecting me'. I've only been included now because my dad finally gave them my number.

It feels like she's gone...I've been assured that she's not in a crisis right now, but already she's acting very differently and sick. I hope and pray that she'll be good and take her stuff...and I'm sad about what those heavy drugs are going to do to her...I know that it must be better to be numbed or sedated or whatever it is that that stuff does to people than for her to continue at this anxious state she's in. No matter what, with the meds or whatever, it's hard to cope with the fact that she's not the same anymore and worse, she's going to get progressively sicker and become someone else in a sense. Another concern is that my children aren't going to remember her other self because they're so young and what will stick out more in their memories is this disease which can last for years. Aside from this, she's a strong and healthy as can be.

I wonder if anyone's seen that movie (Iris) about the brainiac English writer who got Alzheimer's with Judy Dench? When I saw that movie, I really loved it...who would have thought that I would now be linking those scenes to my own mother? To think of my own mother like that...it's like I'm going to lose my mom twice...to the disease and then when she's gone, gone.

This weekend is going to be hard because there's so much down time and that's the hardest, when you have time to think.
Avatar for mandymi
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 1:09am

(((((((((((((((((((((((Bay))))))))))))))))))))))


Sorry to hear the diagnosis.




http://somedaysijustworkhere.blogspot.com/">

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 5:56am
I am sorry to hear of your news. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and my secretary's mom did too.

My dad always had a good summary of the situation - the person who has it always seems fine and happy, but it is really hard on their loved ones.

I hope you can find some good support groups and maybe even a board here on ivillage.

Hugs to you - keep us posted because we care.

Avatar for mom_x_three
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 9:52am
I am so sorry that your family is going through this.

Can you help your mom write down some of her favorite family memories or get her telling some family stories on video to share with your children at a later date...so they'll be able to see this side of her?

I pray that your mom will have lots of good time left to spend with you and your family. I pray for strength for all of you as you face this together, and for days of joy to carry you through the days of sorrow.

Big Hugs to you.

Sherry<with 3 kids, 2 beautiful granddaughters

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 09-04-2004 - 3:49pm

Oh Wow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 09-05-2004 - 5:31pm
I am so sorry. This disease is very hard. My Grandfather died of this when I was 2. he was violent from it and had to be in a home. Jack's Grandfather also had it and he died just recently. It is a slow thing and it is very difficult. My heart goes out to you and your family and your mother for how hard this is.

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 09-06-2004 - 10:53pm
Thanks everyone for your support! There's nothing new to post, but I like the idea of taping her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
Tue, 09-07-2004 - 3:10pm
I just wanted to offer some support and send you big hugs. I'm very sorry to hear about your mom. I can relate to your situation because in June my mom was diagnosed with a terminal, progressive and debilitating disease of which there is no cure. I think that sometimes knowing that other people are going through a similar situation can be comforting. I totally understand what you mean when you said that you feel like you have lost your mom, and you will lose her again when she is gone. It's like they are a shadow of the person they used to be. My mom's speech is affected by her disease, and it's very difficult to understand what she says. It's very hard in the beginning. Once the shock wears off for you, it will be easier for you to be around your mom. All I can say is that there are people on the board that understand your situation and will be an ear for you whenever things get tough. Everyone has been extremely supportive of me. I will give you the advice that was given to me: spend as much time as you can with your mom, and make the most of the time you are together. I also think that a photo album and video tape is an excellent idea. My BIL threw a surprise 40th birthday party for my sister on Saturday. I was in charge of pictures, which were then turned into a power point presentation. The presentation was great, and looking for all those old pictures was fun, too. I'm going to take that same advice and try to put together a book of my mom for all her grandchildren. Prayers and best wishes to you and your family.

Donna

Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Wed, 09-08-2004 - 1:22pm

((((Bay))))


I can't think what to say. I am so so sorry. That has to be the HARDEST disease that any family goes through. Cancer is hell, but you still have your loved one until they pass. J went through this with his grandmother and it was pretty difficult.


I pray that things go remarkably well and it doesn't follow the worst possible patterns. Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you and yours.

Becky

Becky