Just Don't Know???
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Just Don't Know???
| Fri, 08-12-2005 - 11:53am |
Hello All. I'm new to this thread, but am active on the pregnant and single board. My situation is kinda...I'm not sure. I'm six months pregnant and am NOT with the father of my baby. As a matter of fact I had broken up with him before I was even aware I was pregnant. Meanwhile I began a friendship with a guy where we were/are strickly friends. So almost four months past and I discover I'm pregnant, and tell the father. He's just OFF on a whole other level, if you know what I mean. Pretty much non-exsistant to me and my baby. My friend on the other hand, has been so supportive and so understanding, and genuinely happy for me. The dilemma is,I think he kinda wants to be more than friends--which I'm not ready to handle right now or possibly for a while. I have to admit when I first found out I was pregnant I tried to avoid him knowing he liked me more than a friend but wouldn't push the issue if I didn't. But he's really proven to be quite the gentleman and supporter, the father of my baby has NOT stepped up to be. It's that right now, me being in such a vunerable position, starting a relationship just doesn't seem...right. He's so sweet and I know he's going to be here for me regardless, but...I don't know, I just don't want to mess up either way. Thanx for listening yall. Best wishes to everyone!

Hey, it's great that you've found a great friend...but that's all he needs to be right now. Deep down you know you're not ready for a relationship, and that is very wise! So don't feel a sense of obligation to this man, he is there, supporting you and being your friend because he wants to be. As long as you are being a true friend you are equal. Don't let him or anyone pressure you into more than you are ready for... If he truly cares about you, as a friend or otherwise, he should respect your needs.
About your ex: file for child support. Your child deserves it.
And about comparing your friend with your ex- just don't do it. If you're going to like someone, you've got to like them for who they are, not how they compare to someone else. If your ex was a total jerk- this other guy is probably going to look like he's wearing wings and a halo. But you've got to step back and let him win your friendship on his own merits. And again, take the pace of this relationship in however way you feel comfortable. There is plenty of time for romance later. :)
Welcome to the board! Good luck with your pregnancy! Stick around and let us know how things go!
Edited 8/12/2005 3:47 pm ET ET by orange_clouds
Congratulations on the baby and welcome to our board! I think your gut is saying you are not ready to have more with this guy, you know where your focus needs to be and you want it to be on your baby. Take your time and listen to your gut, it's usually right.
You can stick around here though, as a board full of single parents, it's a great resource. Plus we aren't all dating either. I'm sure one day you'll be ready to start a new relationship, and we'll have some advice for you on that too (if you want it, of course).
Welcome to our board!!
Sorry to hear of your troubles - but I think you sound very smart and soon you will be a mom. I think you will find that to be one of life's greatest joys.
The others here give great advice - and of course we encourage you to stay and post with us more.
Take good care of you and the baby and the rest will fall into place.
Good luck!
Be mature!! Think like an adult!! Your very vulnerable right now...
I've been in your shoes. I had someone who was also interested while I was pregnant. You have to determine what it really is this man wants. Because no man is so easily ready to step up to the plate to be a father to your child knowing the real father isn't in the picture. You have to think like a man in this situation....
If he wanted to be friends, you would know that. But if you got a gut feeling its more than that, then talk to him. Tell him your NOT ready for that. Be a mother before your become someone elses girlfriend.