Just feeling plain old rotten.....
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| Mon, 03-13-2006 - 2:58pm |
Ok, I need to get this off my chest...
I had been seeing a guy for a few weeks, we had several lunches, and one night together. We continued the lunches after out date, and he even took me out for my birthday. He was very complimentive, and we chatted throughout the day...We got along wonderfully....
Now, one night, I stopped by his work,(at his request) and i was headed out for the night with friends. Then during the course of the night, my friends bailed, and I was going to meet my cousin and her husband for a drink after their dinner. So I suggested the bar that my friend had took me to (it was a really nice neighborhood bar)and on the way there, I decided to stop in and ask him if he would like to join me. WELL, I noticed that when I got there, he was showered and changed, and I immediately thought, oh my gosh. He's headed out on another date, and I've put him on the spot (Now, remind you we were just "DATING" no committments anywhere) I felt really bad, so when i was talking to him, i said, look, maybe I shouldn't have come..I just thought I would stop by and see if you wanted to join us..He said he was just going 'food shopping' and then headed home. I said fine, I just thought that you might of had last minute plans and were going out.. well he never showed, and the following monday had SEVERE attitude problems with me.. Started callin me a person who might have 'stalking' tendancies, (after he had told me several times that he loved it when I stopped by his work to say hi) and that how dare I show up at his work unexpectedly..etc..etc.. So after telling him that he has be pegged SOOO WRONG and that I was sorry that he felt that way, I backed WAYYYY off, and didn't contact him at all. THEN
Friday night, he texts me saying that "he still can't get me off of his mind." now mind you this was at 2am.. I didn't get the text until 9am that morning.. and texted back, oh? I thought you hated me. Tell me what's going on. He never responded. On sunday,(because this has been burning inside) I text him again asking, so, are you going to explain why I am still on your mind, or was it just a mistake?
He responds with ,It was a mistake ,I appologize.
Pisser. Why would a guy do that? What was the mistake? was he drunk? is it the truth and he just doesn't want to fess up? That drives me crazy! I know he's not worth my time, but see, what ya'll don't know, is that for me INTEGRITY is HUGE with me..I hold that very close to my heart.. and if someone thinks I'm something that I'm not, it kills me. So when he texted me that , i was thrilled just because he came around to thinking that I wasn't what he thought i was.. ya know? Not for the fact that he wanted to get back together..
Oh well... Sorry about the ranting... but I'm just so discouraged..I just want clarity on this...
GGGRRRR>.
well, thanks for listening.
Lisa


That being said, is it possible he was drunk texting and sent your message to the wrong person? I get the gist, he'd have to dial your number, right, but what if it was programmed into his phone, and he hit the wrong key. Maybe not what you want to think, and why he thinks you're a stalker is beyond me, but this guy is obviously not stable.
One minute he's great with you stopping by, inviting you to, the next, he thinks you're a stalker?! WTH?
Sorry he's being such a jerk, but my opinion is if he's contacting you at all at 2am, he's drunk. Who does that? Not a guy who's looking to impress you with his maturity. And then, to say it was a mistake- it was either a mistake because he was drunk, or he sent the message and then regretted it for some other reason.
Either way, I think he's a loser, you're better off without him, and you shouldn't feel at all bad that he thinks you're a stalker. Better that you know now it didn't work out than when you were really invested.
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Thanks for the words of wisdom. SOmetimes when you're in the thick of it, it gets foggy..
Yeah, that's what I was also thinking too.. That he was drunk, and possibly dialed another number in is phonebook, and inadvertantly hit my number.
Yeah, he's a jerk, and immature, but it's hard for me to let go him making those accusations about me as a person.. OH well.. damn PMS moods.. hate them.;)
Yeah, a part of me does feel better knowing that i'm 'out' early... but it still sux.
Thanks for the support!
I do appreciate it!
Lisa
This is NOT your fault! You did nothing wrong!
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Isn't that just awful? You are so right..I know it wasn't my fault, but I feel like I did something wrong. You're right, they usually do go 'Yeah, Whatever" and move on.. I wish i could do that.. I know eventually I will, but right now, I just want validation that I'm just never going to get...
*sigh*
Oh well....
Thanks!
Lisa
I see two issues - first is yours and what you want and second is his and what he wants. Chances are they are two very different things. He wants to be with you when it strikes his fancy and is ambivalent with his feelings. Chances are he was dating someone else. And he didn't like getting caught - so as well all know the best defenxe is an offense.
In my experience with my own dating and from all of the stories on this board, a guy is guilty until proven innocent. In other words, he is just fishing around and happy with just casual dating and does not want a relationship unless he proves it and says it.
Don't beat yourself up - he is just not what you want and deserve. You should not be made to feel like a stalker or like you did anything wrong. You should be made to feel like a princess. But you don't get what you deserve - you get what you negotiate - everything in life is like this.
Next time, and there is always a next time with someone else, hold your heart back a little. Don't have sex with a guy and start to fall for him until you find out what he wants. Wait and see if he is that into you and wants to date you exclusively.
Sorry you had to go through this. I do know your frustration.
Lisa,
Sorry you had to deal with that.
Thank You Allison...
I have moved on, it was just something that has been eating away at me, and I needed to vent it. I know the guy is a loser, and HE's the one LOSING out on this wonderful chicken here! :)
There were a lot of 'other' things that just didn't make sense to me, but looking back, I know it was for the best.. I just HATE when someone thinks I am something I'm not...Just my hang up. ..
BUT..That's life.. onward and upward..;)
Thanks for all of your support!!!
Lisa