That just hurt me
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| Mon, 05-14-2007 - 9:10am |
Shane didn't call me at all yesterday to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Being as though I gave birth to his daughter and step-son, I figured he'd be nice and send me good wishes...he didn't. My ex husband did. I just don't get it. I tried to call him to see if he was coming over that day and he refused to answer his phone. NO calls back. I just left him a message letting him know it was hurtful that he did not think of me and that I would not call him anymore and that the next step is up to him...I was done.
I know he doesn't OWE me a call, but being as thought we did create a child, I thought he might...I guess I should have known he'd be hurtful to me.
Has anyone done an online divorce? I'm thinking of just filing. I'm sick of being treated like crap.
~Mel~

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unfortunately, you can't be completely sure. I was married to my ex for almost 15 years. And while he's there for the kids with parenting time and such, he's $10,000 behind (5 months) in child support.
Carole
I do think you need to be careful about the finances. Because I do think Shane would have the intention of being financially responsible and taking care of Em. If you sat him down now he would probably agree to whatever you wanted and agree he should take care of Em.
BUT BUT BUT - remember that Shane has not shown a fiscally sound track record. I believe he would be the type to have good intentions - but to call you and say he is in a pinch because he spent too much on something stupid or he lent the money to a friend who was in great need. He would want to pay you on time, but he would not have the self discipline and capability to be reliant - those are two hugely different things. You on the other hand are very diligent and self disciplined with paying bills and being on a budget.
And now you two are going to be running two separate households. You are essentially adding a lot to your expenses without adding anything to the income. That is going to be difficult at best, especially until you can think of a way to boost your own income, which I am sure will happen over time. It is going to be very easy for life's blunders to get in the way.
Tires for the car, unexpected medical and dental expenses, gifts for family, home improvements, insurance increases, new clothes for you and the kids, those are all things that come to my mind and have been unexpected big expenses for me lately. I am sure everyone here can relate. And you will have these and Shane will have these.
You have to find out your rights and get this done and get it in writing so you are protected and your kids are protected. This way you can move on and not have a lot of ongoing drama that will interfere with many many years of your life.
You are not going to be attractive to a good person if you are having all sorts of money drama with Shane. and I think you have to accept he is going to be marginal at best with helping you. It is just the nature of the beast. It is the whole thing of having an ex - they are NOT supportive and most are not that capable of being responsible and helpful. If they were they would NOT be an ex!!
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Just whatever you do- FILE IT WITH THE COURT!!!
Nicolas' dad and I had a verbal agreement for child support when we split- and everything was fine for two months and then it started... by the time I got him into court and an agreement in place, he owed me over $2000 and the court would NOT HONOUR that, since it had not been filed with them.
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Good, because I fully agree with Judy, that while Shane MAY have the best INTENTIONS, his follow through may not be so great.
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