Just a LITTLE jealous. LOL

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Just a LITTLE jealous. LOL
13
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 10:55am
Ok, so M is gone with his 15 guy buddies to the beach. The first two days was fine, but now we are hitting on the third and I'm a LITTLE jealous. LOL. I guess they are doing what all guys do... party until they fall over. He totally deserves this and it gives him the much needed break of being a full time single Dad.
HOWEVER, I found that when he called me today that I was just a little jealous that he hasn't really taken the time to just call me. He was saying the day before yesterday and again yesterday morning that he is going to call me, just to hear my voice. He didn't. Instead I got a text messages each night at 10pm, saying he wished I was with him, he misses me and he's having a blast. LOL. No phone calls at night, only in the mornings. This morning we briefly talked and he said he'll call me later. I said, NO, I am going to be out of pocket over the weekend doing my school stuff and Alex has a lot of going on this weekend with friends. I also told him that I had plans this evening and tomorrow night, so I'll just talk to him when he gets back into town Sunday sometime.
First off, I am busy, but not THAT busy. I do have to do the things I said I did, but I don't have plans tonight or tomorrow persay; Except that I will be sitting at home watching a movie with the girls. I have plans, so I wasn't lying, but I didn't say what they were. Tomorrow nights wedding is off now, because of Jesus Sandals, but I didn't let him know that. I am sure he still thinks I am going. I just decided I didn't want to hear or not hear from him. Worried that the little jealousy monster might make me say something negative, when he really doesn't deserve it.
I kept this morning conversation very short, to under 5 minutes, because I had a meeting to attend and I just didn't want to say anything wrong and keep it as light as possible. I could hear it in his voice that he sounded a bit hurt that I don't want to hear from him until Sunday, but it is what it is and I think it's really best under the little monster growing inside of me.
Ok, so it that REALLY stupid? I thought it wouldn't phase me a bit that he was off at the beach with 15 guys partying it up with thousands of other people (it's biker week at Myrtle Beach, where the WOMEN are CRAZY; like Spring Break College week) but I noticed as time went by, it was hard for me to let it roll off my back. I found myself wondering exactly WHAT he is doing, but I specifically even told him before he left that I don't want to know.
GEESH!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:22am

It seems like that is a totally normal way to feel. The only thing is that you don't want to put him off while he is surrounded by crazy women...but you kept it light and that's good.

My suggestion would be to keep yourself as busy as possible or do something completely out of the ordinary to get your mind on other things. When he returns you know he'll be desperate to see you and hopefully you'll be exhilarated :)

Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 11:53am

What did we call it last week? OAC (over analyzing club) or OTC (over thinking club).

I just have to stay cool. I wish I was going someplace to keep my mind off instead of sitting at home, because my plans were broken. Not to mention, I'm broke. Now I could bang my head against the wall this week that I allowed myself to be exclusive when dating when I could have been dating this weekend. Then of course I "OAC", thinking, maybe he planned on making sure we were because he would be gone for an entire week and didn't want me dating while he was gone. grrr. LOL.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 12:59pm

I am sure the noise at night would make it impossible for him to have much of a conversation. Plus he totally begged you to go steady with him so I dont think you have to worry about him going crazy with the chicks. But I dont blame you for the little nagging thoughts...I would totally be having them too!

--tj

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2006
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 2:17pm

A little jealousy is fine- it shows you care about him and his actions.

A lot of jealousy- the kind where you start to question his every move, wish he cleared all plans with you in advance, and makes you doubt yourself, your relationsip (oh, sorry, this isn't a relationship) and your guy are not okay.

Didn't you tell him not to call you at all while he was gone- just to enjoy the trip and you'd catch up when he got back? Why are you upset that he isn't calling that much? I don't need any answers, I'm wondering though if you might have more feelings for him than you thought.

I think you know yourself well enough to know that keeping it light and easy while he's gone is the best option for you, and being busy- even if it's just a movie at home- are good for you, and for your non-relationship.

I also think you might want to reconsider what you are calling this... arrangement. It seems to me that someone who is dating someone else exclusively and feels hurt and slightly jealous when said someone else is away on a trip might consider herself to be in a relationship with this someone else. Just me, and I'm a label-er.

As for the other girls- honey, you have nothing to be worried about! This man is into you, if he had wanted all those other girls, he'd have already had them, and if you honestly think you can't trust him why would you be dating him in the first place? Relax, deep breath, and pick a fun movie for tonight!!

Moody, who, after having said all that, admits she'd also be jealous, a little


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Avatar for myprecioustwo
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 2:43pm

"Didn't you tell him not to call you at all while he was gone- just to enjoy the trip and you'd catch up when he got back? Why are you upset that he isn't calling that much? I don't need any answers, I'm wondering though if you might have more feelings for him than you thought."

Good question. I guess the reason I told him in the first place, is because I don't want to hear and know about it and in the last two morning calls, he tells me a little about what they've been doing, etc and that he will call me at night to hear my voice.

I'd be much better if he did what I asked and I just DIDN'T know, because when he tells me, I wish I was with him. And then him telling me he wishes I was their bums me out. LOL. Does that make sense? DARN IT! I WANT TO BE AT THE BEACH!!! LOL. If he just left me alone as I asked, I wouldn't expect him to call like he said he will and I would just do my thing (which is what I always have done when my past relationships were out of pocket). I guess its mind trickery. And I should not expect him to call, like he says he will because THEN it makes me wonder. OTC GALORE!!!!

I guess it goes back to the thread a week or so ago that I hate when poeple say they will and then they don't and then send a text. M and I had a conversation about it just last week and we agreed no more texting. LOL. However, he has been inibriated from noon till wee hours, so I guess I can't expect a drunk guy to remember. And I am doing EVERYTHING to play it off cool! Laughing, joking, acting light hearted when in reality I want to strangle him. LOL

I guess a little bit also feels like I'm sitting at home date-less because I agreed to only date him and he's having a blast. When now, I wish I had a steak dinner from even a comb-over and I can't, because I promised we would be exclusive. LOL. I'm such a BRAT!

So now I'm thinking... Staying at home and being faithful because we are exclusive, is a relationship. DARN IT. I feel tricked. LOL!

And it's funny, because I darn well know he's into me and I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm not even worried about it, I'm just selfish because I wish I was having my own fun this weekend and I don't have any girlfriends here that have time. I want to go guy watching! One is about to have her baby, the other is out of town with her boyfriend, my best friend is no longer my best friend and two others have evening things going on with their families.

I MUST BE PMS'ing or something!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 3:03pm

LOL!!! I just have to say you are too funny!!! I think I would take a steak dinner with a combover this weekend as well. My girlfrieds are busy too, kids will be with their dad and I have nothing to do. I seem to get all my invitations when the kids are with me.

Anyhow enjoy your quiet weekend. He'll be back on Sunday.

Priscilla

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 11:20am

I am not just a member of Other Thinkers Club -- I am the president as well. I would totally be jealous. Actually, 4 or 5 years ago I would have driven to wherever they were and spied on them. I would have had to take my entire bottle of Zoloft just to get through the weekend. I know that my actions in this area definitly caused a breakdown in my marriage.

That said, I agree with whomever said a little jealousy is okay. Plus, I think guys like to know you are a little jealous of what they might be doing. But don't go crazy like me.

Actually, I really feel pretty comfortable with myself and think I could make it through a guys weekend away with just the little jealousy. And I am not even taking Zoloft anymore. My therapist can spend her hard earned dollars and know that I am a better person. Keep busy. Smile. Watch Mean Girls with Lindsay Lohan. That movie busts me up.

Avatar for dani20002000
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Registered: 04-16-2000
Sat, 05-19-2007 - 2:33pm

I agree that a little bit of jealousy is totally normal. As long as you're not obsessing or getting mad at him or anything then it's fine. I bet he didn't call at night because that's when he's hanging with the guys and doing the bonding thing and it's a bit harder to get away. He probably has some quiet time in the morning so he sets aside that time to touch base with you. Hang tight~weekend is almost over. have fun bonding with the girls tonight. I'm doing the same. He doesn't need to know what the plans are~just that you have plans ;0)

~Dani~

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Registered: 04-21-2003
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 8:55am
Well of course you want to know, but you don't. We don't want to hear of the drunken nights and all of the fun they are having without us, but we kinda do want to know what they are up to, if they are talking about us, thinking of us...natural. We can act like it doesn't bother us, but we all know it does.

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 05-20-2007 - 1:46pm
Hey, at least he text messaged you

-almostdoesntcount

 

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