Just talked to psyc about todays meeting

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Just talked to psyc about todays meeting
6
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:24am

Im really torn. I have always WANTED her Dad, as you know, to get well & have a relationship with her - a good one, & for him to step up to the plate & be what she needs ... but we all KNOW he doesnt have it in him. At least not so "quickly" at this point. Its not like i WANT to keep them apart, but i just think its the best for her. Life has been completely sane, calm & not dramatic, since he has been mostly out of the picture ... the only time it GOT BAD, was when he acted up & contacted her. Im not saying the doc thinks he is READY ... but here is what the guy told me todays meeting was about.


He said X came to him last week & the doc said X said he has

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:38am

Okay - a good set of prayers and emotional strength coming your way. Remember to focus on Avery and the rest will take care of itself.

It could be that he only gets one scheduled phone call a week and has to follow rules and practice with that for a while.

But wait and see - sounds like the doc is following due process which is what you want so your case is rock solid to show you did everything right.

Good luck and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:38am

Hi. I am sure you are horribly affected by all of this but having read up on your posts before, I think you have nothing to worry about today because I dont think it is possible that he has had such a quick change of heart and mind and I doubt he will be able to sustain the theatre of the absurd ( that is what my family calls it) where he plays the role of perfectly reformed Dad. I am sure he wants to be allowed to get away with things as he had been and I am thinking he might want to have time with Avery for appearance sake ( as I said in my other post) but I dont think that any of the real change inside him have been made for that to happen. The doc is a smart guy from what you have written and the truth is your ex is still sick ( and I mean that in the nicer way) and he will remain that way and in a high pressure situation show symptoms of it that all can see UNTIL he gets some massive help and for a considerable amount of months. So although there is hope that Avery can still have a father, as you said, she is doing better right now without the drama and if he ever gets the help he needs, she still has that possibility for the future. It would be better for her to take 5 years of her life without a father and then have him back at 100% healthy and changed than to have him flip flopping around as toxic as he has been. Avery has YOU and you are wonderful and that is what she needs most. Kids are so forgiving too and as good as you have been explaining to her that Daddy isnt well, she will forgive him eventually if he gets his act together and wants a second chance AND deserves it.
You have said that when you guys were together he was a great father but without you he isnt. My ex was exactly that way but he isnt near as bad as yours currently. He just functions best when he isnt alone. This isnt good enough for our kids though because we cannot control whether or not we are alone since all we can control is ourselves. We have all been through bad break ups and still been fantastic moms in the middle of it.

Good luck today and be as strong as you always have been. Have you heard from your great date yet? I feel like he is dating all of us. lol Is he going to call us back or what?

Lilypie - Personal picture
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 9:49am
Here you go! I really hope things go well. I know how it feels to be so torn! I have the same psycho issues going on now with my oldest DD's dad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2004
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:00am

You will be in my thoughts today. I know you are probably anxious to get this over with. Stay focused and let the psych run the session.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 1:05pm

Rebecca,


I hope that you


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 2:13pm

Well, my stress levels would be through the roof!