Just talked with Psyc- THANK GOD

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Just talked with Psyc- THANK GOD
39
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:03pm

he is completely on the same page as I am (& all of you!).


He returned my call from last nite & said "I completely agree with your assessment of the situation. That was the most painfully distrubing display of parental weakness & selfishness, that I have ever had to sit through & listen to. It was a Character study of sorts,

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:15pm

So great that you are being validated and supported by this key person who is instrumental in the visitation process.


This confirms that your perspective is on track.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:16pm

Oh gosh, Rebecca... first of all I am SOOO glad that the doc SAW first hand how Taz interacts with Ave. I am glad that it is validated. Its so sad that he does that, and so sad that Ave is so desirous of a relationship with him that she will likely even take the critisim, take the blame, just to keep seeing him.


What I hope and pray is that the Judge gives Taz a verbal spanking BIG TIME Thursday. I hope that he gets lashed for for being the way he is around her. I hope the Judge says that if it happens again he gets no rights to see her. And I hope the most that through all of this Ave get peace in her heart to know none of this is her fault, ever.


Hugs and more hugs. Thursday with court and then the dog park sounds emotionally exhausting...and you work nights...girl how do you hav ethe strength. I would soo want to crawl in bed and not come out.


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:26pm

Also, re: talking to her about what he said. I think it was Alison who made the point about when i pointed out what he said out to her, it would make her more sensitive TO his remarks. That may be true - but Averey is a really astute little girl.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:42pm

I think it is very good that the psych will document his behavior.

If I was you, I would find a very good reason not to go to the dog park. I feel that dilutes your whole campaign of no visits without treatment - because then he is going to want more and he clearly does not deserve any. I would not care what Avery says - I would NOT subject her to that.

I would play hardball with him big time -no treatment and no psych present = no visit. No exception. But that is me - it is easy for me because I am not stuck in the middle with a kid who is sad she can't see her dad. That is hard for her.

But think about it - be careful and listen to the psych. I am hoping he can help your case in court. Because I think you are doing the right thing to withhold visits but you also have to get the legalities straightened out so you are not in contempt.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:44pm

It seems you are doing everything right but unfortunately since you cannot be her father as well then TAZ will still be an influence/male role model in her life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2006
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 7:01pm
Good God I am sure you ARE EXhausted - BIG HUG from over here. I am so proud of you and so happy for you that the psych was on board with everything you were thinking. He sounds awesome and like her guardian angel right now really...
I might be confused about something. Are you planning on meeting him at the dog park after the court hearing? Are they the same day? If so, I think that might be a bad idea - I think meeting him at the dog park at all this week is a bad idea at this point. Only you know what is best and I know she is dying to spend time with him but later when she is older she might see things differently. Of course she doesnt know whats best for her right now and I know you dont want to disappoint her after everything she has been through but she might NEED to be disappointed on this one just to protect her. She will understand that later in retrospect when she is older and it will mean so much to her. It is far from the same ( not at all!) but I had to cut all visitation with the grandmother who my DS adores because she wasnt treating him or me properly. He was disappointed and burst into tears at first but now he is ok about it because he realizes it was stressful for him to go over there and feel at times like he had to fend for himself. He can still go with someone ( which I know is not the case with your situation right now- again no comparison) but he feels safe. He was only angry for about a day and then I think his brain/heart coped with it. My point is the disappointment would fade but the other stuff she might get at the dog park might not as easily, you know? This is what I had to tell myself. And I am sure you have told yourself that a million times. What makes this time different for you?
Do you have ice cream over there I hope?
Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 7:35pm
THANK GOD! I kinda figured the psych was observing the interaction between Taz and Ave. I can't imagine the judge not going along with the mediator's decision. Hang in there, you are doing such a good job of putting Ave first and trying to keep a good perspective. Tough to do when you are in the middle of such an emotional storm.
Steph
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:09pm

I still don't like the idea of you meeting him at the dog park- especially since the psych won't be there!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:31pm
One of my good friends is a lawyer, but I admittedly am not. Has it ever occurred to you that by
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 9:36pm
I actually have spoken in the past to an atty about this issue. As you know from these boards, millions of

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