Just talked with Psyc- THANK GOD
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Just talked with Psyc- THANK GOD
| Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:03pm |
he is completely on the same page as I am (& all of you!).
He returned my call from last nite & said "I completely agree with your assessment of the situation. That was the most painfully distrubing display of parental weakness & selfishness, that I have ever had to sit through & listen to. It was a Character study of sorts,


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Rebecca, Mom to Averey, 2/8/00, Kibo, Sana & Zuri too!
Just get Ave prepared for the idea that she may not get to see Taz at the dog park, just in
I have Al.
I just dont think his behavior in a public place is something you can count on. Even when he thinks he is being subtle, he is not. Typical stuff for a mental illness - when whispering isnt whispering and inference is anything but subtle - he might think to her he is showing concern and only you can hear the insults behind it.
I was thinking about something earlier while I was putting DS to bed. I also doubt TAZ is up to date on where Avery is in her own development in terms of what she understands versus what she just reacts and feels. Her emotions are starting to fuse with her belief systems and knowledge (the practical and the world kind) My son has changed immensely in the past year ( he is 9) in that he is no longer either flying by the seat of his pants or speaking thoughtfully but he can now do a bit of both at the same time. Nervous system is gelling and she will be more sensitive and articulate than she ever has been but he hasnt seen the lead up to this and of course that is all his fault. The fact that you used the word ruminate tells me she is already doing this full throttle. I have had several arguments in the last six months with my ex where I have to point out to him that even when things are not addressed with DS, he is processing, worrying, internalizing until he cant make sense of it and comes to me three weeks later. I never know about them until he sits me down of course because most of the stuff he is upset about happens at x or grandparent's house. X doesnt take it seriously and thinks no big deal and then something comes crashing down weeks later. When I bring it up I get something along the lines of " well , I guess I will have to talk to him about it to know what you are saying - he hasnt said anything to me about it" like I am making something up. Then once he is convinced of it, he is annoyed that DS didnt bring it up sooner and especially not to him. I had an AHHA moment the last time we fought about it. I told him he did bring it up, and thank GOd even if it was just to me and that we should be glad he did since we have done nothing but prove to him that we are no help whatsoever with the grandmother. What good has it done in the past to bring this up with us? So I was grateful we were being given second chances. My point is that even though she might and you might not see an end in sight and there are no immediate solutions, you are doing so well to just encourage her to keep coming to you. Ruminating is best done out loud at this age because they come up with fairly off base things in the silence of their own little heads I know....Also, maybe the psych can bring up exactly where Ave is developmentally at this point and what that means in terms of what she is able to interpret and take on herself?
Do you have something fun planned between now and Thursday to help distract you a bit?
I just hope tomorrow goes well and he's good to her.
I agree, Gal.
You really have a great psych, and he has the balls to go to the court with this stuff. It is sooo hard to get full custody, unless the guy just gives it to you, and yes, I understand why you hesitate to close the door completely, my daughter is the same way with PsychoBoy and I know her future is going to be like Averey's. You can only continue to keep reinforcing her self esteem so she learns to ignore his comments. My boys really have come to a sense of peace, each in their own way, when coping with PsychoBoy's criticism. I believe if you continue to have her see her own counselor, continue to reinforce the message that his comments have no truth to them, she too will grow up NOT being too effected by his craziness.
Hugs and keep your sense of humor.
QueenBun
I will take my chances. As i said, i asked an atty their opinion, actually asked another after these posts (just a freind) & they said even a "slander case" may not be an issue b/c i have never posted his name.
I was soooo relieved and happy for you when I read this R!!!
mom_uk2socal - Mom to DS22, DS19, DD16
I think you did good talking to her.
April
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