Just talked with Psyc- THANK GOD

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Just talked with Psyc- THANK GOD
39
Tue, 03-25-2008 - 6:03pm

he is completely on the same page as I am (& all of you!).


He returned my call from last nite & said "I completely agree with your assessment of the situation. That was the most painfully distrubing display of parental weakness & selfishness, that I have ever had to sit through & listen to. It was a Character study of sorts,

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 2:44pm

I wonder if there is a consistent male father figure/presence in Ave's life?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 6:32pm
The person who said "if it were an issue, IV wouldn't have message boards" is simply wrong.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 6:55pm

The person who said "if it were an issue, IV wouldn't have message boards" is simply wrong.


My point was that iV wouldn't have message boards because noone would use them--I do realize that information posted on the internet is used in lawsuits all the time--when people have photos of illegal activity posted on their myspace page or whatnot but this is not the same thing.

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 7:24pm
It doesn't matter if it's personal therapy or not, all that matters is that she's posting conversations with a psychotherapist.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 8:21pm

"IV isn't exactly a secret and the OP has posted photos of herself and her DD."

That is a good point.

And we just had a guy from match come and post here because he heard we didn't recommend retired people to one of our posters - apparently someone he knew saw it and told him. And the next thing we knew he was online with us!! Same match name and all. So you never know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 9:21pm

This will be my last word on the subject. Gal malia, I went back to search for your past posts to me in the past, b/c i was pretty sure you have popped out of nowhere to disagree w/ me b4, I recognized the name - & sure enough, I see that is true. So ....


I choose to post the details I do, b/c I have never been told by the doc OR my atty, that any of it is "priveledged information". I am free to speak of my own experience & my childs, as I see fit. In fact, in conversation with the pscy last week, I repeated a conversation a friend & i had about the issues, & the psyc then was very aware that i had told this other person about

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 9:26pm

Mark,luckily she has a WONDERFUL male support system AND role models.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 9:36pm
It's my last word too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 10:38pm

This is a very important part to continue to provide for Averey. I am certain my boys are as well balanced as they are because they always had male teachers, coaches, and fathers of friends who provided a better male role model for them. It was particularly important that they saw how these men treated their own wives and kids, not just how they were with my sons. Around age 12, S19 began to openly comment on how nutty he perceived his father to be, because he noticed that other families weren't like our- the moms were mostly similar, but other dads were not like his.

Keep doing what you are doing, keep your contact with Taz to a minimum, and let Ave have what contact is possible without putting her at risk. I agree that if you just demanded sole custody and cut him out of her life, she'd resent you and blame you for her estrangement from him. She could perceive it as using her to get back at him for his crappy treatment of you. She wouldn't grow up with the reality of his problems, she'd create a fantasy dad who evil mom kept her from seeing. This way, she knows the reality, and she grows up learning how to cope with people like her dad, not to be a door mat for the narcissists of the world, but to recognize the behavior and head for the hills.

QueenBun, recovering narcissist's doormat

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