Just a thank you..

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Just a thank you..
12
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 11:39am

....to everyone for all of your advice. I would love to be here jumping up and down saying that my guy is 100 percent ready for change. He has not taken the plunge yet, but the dynamic between us has changed, and I am at peace for being able to hold MY line, regardless of what he chooses.


There was no break up, but an understanding will have to do for right now. He understands that another alcohol related issue like last weekends will drive me even further away. He gets that, and we plan on talking this Wednesday about what his plans are, for change, modification, or total sobriety.


I am a bit sad at the way reality comes in like harsh daylight and can't be denied, even when you pull the shades. But I am not ready to throw in the towel. I need to see if he is going to make some changes. I will follow the links to the board for those of love those with addicitions and read and learn. But I would like to stay here and post with you all and support you in every way, as you have for me.


A warm heartfelt hug to you all!


~Pacific~ Ready to get back on her game and give back..

~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 2:52pm

Hi Pac,


This is going to be the hardest time now- it's been put out there and he has to make the changes... but if he doesn't, you have to be able to follow through with leaving him.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 3:29pm

Take care and good luck on this Pacific.


My take on your Wednesday talk is

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 4:27pm

It is great you see the reality of all of this - it is HARSH - and yes we are all here for you. I was completely astounded at what great experience and advice everyone here has and how they are all converged on the issues. You got some great advice and insight.

I don't think "modification" would do - did you read up on "problem drinking" and "alcoholism" and "codependence" online? I think you have to educate yourself so you will know what is really in order for his recovery. He has to take a pretty big step to actually quit and to admit to his friends that he wants to quit. Not just cut back.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 5:02pm

Wow!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Mon, 11-12-2007 - 9:50pm
VERY few people, or experts, believe an addict can "moderate".

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 3:14pm

Hi Sweets.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Tue, 11-13-2007 - 5:37pm

I have myself wondered about moderation. I have heard it is very difficult for an alcoholic to moderate their drinking. My feeling is that even one drink triggers their desire for more and more.

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Wed, 11-14-2007 - 10:57pm

Hey you- I'm just thinking of you now, knowing you two were getting together tonight (right???)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 1:01pm

Hey Moon,


It was nice to see this note this morning. Yes, we met last night and we were both so worked up about work that we vented about our jobs, then other things and we did not get into

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 11-15-2007 - 1:48pm

Hi Pac-Sun,


I'm glad you two were able to get together and talk last night.

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