Just wondering...
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Just wondering...
| Sun, 07-22-2007 - 8:52pm |
how women view being a single mom & debating a second marriage - and if anyone thinks like me & would even consider marriage again, but living separately until kids are older (saying that your children or under 5?) -hmmm...know of any men that would go for that, or is it completely unrealistic?

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Divorce does fix that one problem - to get you out of an unhappy relationship. But unfortunately, it creates a thousand more problems that come afterwards.
Absolutely!
~s~
Well, I have pondered this a lot, especially with such a serious relationship like I have right now. My boys are both 6 and they really like "mommy's friend" Tyler, but I am not ready to take it to the next level yet. Plus, I cannot live with someone without being married to them. It is in my divorce decree. So, I really need to be sure that it is something that I will want to have for the rest of my days. It is a huge decision! I am definitely not saying that I won't ever get married again, but whether it be Tyler or someone else, they are REALLY going to have to impress me first and make me feel at ease!
~Nicole
thx for sharing - and i would have to totally agree about the feeling completely at ease -something that i took from hearing a bunch of womens stories (which was very moving & healing by the way on http://firstwivesworld.com/wivestales) was this one lady that said her daughter said she wasn't going to get married to solve problems - rather the problems would be solved before they were married - which i thought was great insight -
Laurel :)
thx - yep - that is a great story of separate w/kids - yet still tied into a relationship - so great feedback -
as far as the confusion w/me - my question was originally about people who are married yet live separately - in my sense, not necessarily meaning living separate first, then marrying & staying separate - but in my scenerio - i am currently separated, still love my husband and would be able to "date", spend time w/him & the kids etc. (which is semi what we do now) yet there were many problems (lots that stemmed from us living together - maybe some from the marriage part of things & both not too willing to compromise) so...and i know as well that it is often hard enough to live together - much less blending families - then you can tend to pile on a whole other set of issues - it seems much simpler to me if you don't want any more kids, can afford things financially etc. that you keep the security etc. of your own home & space - if someone hasn't yet attempted living together/blending - an wants to try, then go for it - but if it doesn't work in that sense, i think we can often ruin the greatness in the relationship b/c we don't fit it into a box that society says we are supposed to - everyone is different & their situation - so when i hear about a couple that is married, yet living separately & still happy w/it & each other, i just feel a sense of empowerment for both people - and i feel that it is a possibility in my life - it is possible that my husband & i won't reconcile or work out in this fashion - that is when i still feel like i would be in a similar boat w/someone else even still - except it's not the children's biological father & that makes it even more sticky - as you said, buying the herd isn't as appealing and if there is a balance w/him having kids as well, then we'd have to buy a bus to go anywhere -and that's not to appealing either - can a relationship survive all of that - if so, i'm pretty sure it was meant to be ;)
and just great food for thought & creation in ones life...
Laurel :)
This was a really great thread. I enjoyed reading it and everyone's input and perspectives on things. What a great group of women we have here.
Priscilla
thx - i look forward to more as life goes on - lol - and i would have to totally agree - great group of women - i completely love ivill :)
Laurel
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