Is that the Karma bus i hear ???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Is that the Karma bus i hear ???
31
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 3:36pm

OMG OK...so CP calls today at my office in tears (yes again) and tells me how he needs to talk to me and i agree to call him back since i was really busy at the time. So i give it a good 45 and call back...TBH answers and hangs up on me LOL....OHHHHHH TO FUNNY. SO i call his cell and hes all upset. They have broken up and she refuses to leave the house. She tells him if he calls the police on her she'll tell them he punched her and punch herself...LOL OH GOD....so he crys some more and tells me hes being evicted as of tuesday what is he going to do? He can put some things in storage but would i like any of them...MY THINGS...that he and TBH have been using. Instead of them going to waste and risking losing them and having to start from scratch he wants to save what he can in case he gets a new place...I say yes i know how difficult it is to start over...DID IT A**HOLE. So then i ask about his DS11...what is he going to do? can he spend the summer with his bio-mother (who i wouldnt let have any part of his life when i was there because she was such a LOWLIFE DRUNK) he says no he cant see her she under investigation with child services. Seems she got into a fight with the new bf and he beat the crap out of her in front of him and hes a witness for the state now. My heart broke for this little boy. I rasied him as mine and his father and TBH poisoned him against me and now he just glares at me when i drop off DD for visists. SO against my better judgement i give him all the numbers for emerg services and social services and explained it not a gesture of kindness towards him but for his children and he needs to get his head out of his a$$ and be a good father because hes a really sh***y one anymore. He cried and said im so sorry for all of the suffering i put you through and i miss you...balh blah blah i said you always miss me when you two fight...he went on to tell me he was his best when he was with me...i said really thats not how it uses to play out..i was the to controlling bit** remember??? No i was wrong...blah blah blah...he then tells me how shes nuts and to young for him and i told him he better wake up because he is out of control and about to lose everything. Then he tells me the reason TBH hates me so much is because when they fight he compares her to me and how she doesnt even come close...LOL Boy what they wont say to get what they need.

Pages

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 3:56pm

Thanks for sharing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 4:10pm

You handled it amazingly well, M.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 5:23pm

M,


I think that you should go through with the papers as planned. He will always be drama, he will always have lame excuses, he will always look for you to feel sorry for him, anything so he won't have to grow up and own up. He's a grown man even he refuses to act like one. Going through with the plan will protect you from his insanities that he will surely come back with just as soon as he feels he is not alone in the street again.


He's like a dog who is spoiled and untrained. He'll get away with murder and chew up the furniture and pee on the rug and snarl at everyone because he is a bully dog. Then when he gets beat down and put out in the cold, THEN he is sorry...like a bad dog who had his tail between his legs. But you know what? As soon as he gets back on his feet he's going to be the same nasty dog. It is his nature. Protect yourself as planned and don't fall for his pathetic whining. Leavce the bad doig in the rain and let him go fent for himself.


Sorry again for my bitter remark- somehow your posts about CP seem to bring out my angry side- and YOU are doing so well at not reacting!! Just be careful...and don't go throwing that dog any more bones!!


~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 5:38pm

Hooray for the Karma Bus!!!!! I can't help but feel somewhat satisfied at hearing about all of this. He picked her, she's giving him hell... they both need to lie in it!


It's just sad for the kids involved though. I wish there was a way to get them out of the situation and away from those "adults" who are supposed to be taking care of them. Poor DS who is approaching the years when he will be developing his manhood (as opposed to living boyhood)... and he has THIS as a role model. And sad for your DD, who is still so young, and having no choice but to follow the visitation schedule, even with their battles going on. Is there not a way where you could keep her out of it until/unless they figure things out? Surely there's a way to keep DD out of that mess while it's so chaotic! Even more chaotic than their normal.


It's crazy that she is taking the house?!?! WTF?? Isn't it HIS house (your house, too?) and she has no right to it? It's not like they're married yet! How can she be the one kicking him out?? Dang... that's balls on her part. Nuts, really!!!


Hugs, Mom-Star.

~shrimpy


It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 5:51pm

Lol!


Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2005
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 6:15pm
Wow - what a great post, PacSun! - I agree with all of it - yes she should pursue support. His problems are his own and fixable by him - and he is not going to fix them if he doesn't have to!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2003
Thu, 07-10-2008 - 6:58pm

I genuinely believe some people have to hit rock bottom before they will realize that they have to change - and I see no need to protect

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 9:18am

He called again bright and early this morning at work (he still doesnt have my new numbers and he said that and i explained again how he would not be getting it because of his history with TBH and her harassment of me). SO hes still crying and doesnt know what hes going to do or where hes going. He said he went and talked wiht his old boss and "hes being an a$$hole so screw him". I said where were you the week TBH had DD all day...ohh that was another job and that owner is crazy. Its always everyone else. Again I extended the olive branch and offered to call his sister and he gave me her number. She hasnt talked to him since everything happened with us. She was sickened by what he did and i think she just cut him off completely, but if i can reach her maybe she'll help them (him and his DS11). The little boy has nobody. His mothers family dropped him on our doorstep with a black trashbag full of clothes and drove off 3 years ago when he got custody.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2004
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 10:12am

Mom-Star, you have a heart bigger than mine... but you KNOW you have to stop helping him!!!! Don't let him do his pitiful helpless act (even if you know he IS clueless) and fall for doing it all for him. He will never learn to do it on his own, or learn that he has to deal with his own consequences- if someone keeps "saving" him from having to do it for himself. Not that it's even YOUR JOB to teach him the life lesson... but it's surely not your job to rescue him from his own life.


So you called his sister for him. (Why couldn't he have done that himself?!?!) That's doing PLENTY for him! Leave him to flounder on his own. Geez- griping about "having to fill out forms" to get the things done he needs... sorry if THAT'S just too much to handle!!


Can you tell he steams me up with this crying stuff?!?? Be a man already!!!!! A functional ADULT, for pete's sake!


I do fear for his DS who is caught up in all of this. But I'm happy for you for standing your ground and NOT giving out any of your numbers so he can't keep hassling you in all your "places" but one. I totally get what you mean about the dishes and things. They've been "contaminated" by the other relationship and I'd be that way too. I know- it's just a mental thing... but I get that.


Don't worry about the karma bus coming after you for not bending over backwards to help him. This is not YOUR problem to fix. It's his. Your karma bus is full of good helpings already. More than MY karma bus has for my ex, that's for sure!

~shrimpy


It's never too late to live happily ever after, and always be grateful for those who make our souls blossom.

~shrimpy

"A man who wants something will find a way; a man who doesn't will find an excuse." ~Stephen Dolley Jr.

~<

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Fri, 07-11-2008 - 10:28am

Thanks Shrimpy...he just called AGAIN. Now hes asking if i want to take the cats...will take them of course. I cant have them go to a shelter...he can go to one but i cant have the cats go. He also asked if i wanted the bedroom set...WTF i said ummm no. he said but it was yours...yeah so was the rest of the house. I said why whould i want a bed that you shared with the woman you had an affair with??? Ugghhhh hes making me sick to my stomach really.


His sister wont call him back or answer her phone for him. As it is shes not answering it for me but she may think its him calling when she sees the area code. Theres so much more to the story than im getting im sure of it...we'll see how it plays out over the coming week. Thats when hes supposed to be out on tuesday of next week...um his scheduled visitation. Ill be calling my attorney to see what happens now.


Ummm Im editing tis...ive said no i cant take the cats. I dont want the added burden. I have enough on my shoulders right now. Especially since hes just called to ask for the damn suitcase that i gave him for christmas that i used when i left....Ohhh its getting deep. His DS is going to live with the maternal grandmother and when hes back on his feet hes going to send me some childsupport...YEAH OK This whole thing is so he can slip under the radar im sure of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


IM FUMING MAD....papers will be filed and ive called my atty to start the ball rolling on sole custody. i think this will all work in my favor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPPEE...never been so happy that

Pages