Kerplunk-maybe other shoe dropping?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Kerplunk-maybe other shoe dropping?
18
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 10:48am

Thanks for all the nice messages below on my other post last night.

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Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:00pm

I see people communicate and “do” their relationships differently.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:06pm

To which he replied "we're better than ok.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:17pm

"If he says that there is nothing wrong then why can’t you let it go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:42pm

Lisa- sorry to hear about the rough night.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 1:19pm

((((hugs))))


I agree with what City said about Builder thinking that his passive aggressive moodiness gets him something. He knows how to push your buttons. Actually we all do this in relationships to a point in one way or another to get a response. But with builder it does seem obvious he pulled away because he was hurt/upset that you did not respond right away. He mentioned that a couple times, that you were on the phone or did not respond.


I'll be honest and say that I can relate because when you talk about builder it reminds me of how I was. Quite often, with BE. I was always afraid of being devastated by him,

pacificsun2-1.jpg picture by samsigs
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 4:16pm

"So, I think I would give him the room he has created for himself by being distant. Don't play the game where you have to chase him down to get to the bottom of it, feel all bad for hurting him..because that makes you the bad guy and him the victim and that's a pattern you don't want to get into. You'll be rescuing his feelings and taking care of him emotionally forever if you do. I would let him work it out in his head. But that doesn't mean you have to pull away. Just be businesses usual no more and no less. I bet he will come around on his own. And he needs to, because you don't want to set up a pattern of rescuing him."


This is so true. We've texted back and forth today but I dunno,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2004
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:55pm

I totally can't deal with it when they get moody and sullen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:04pm
I say back off a bit. You made your feelings clear. Maybe he truly isnt himself due to being tired from the trip. I'd say a few days is enough to get himself together. & if in a few days he is still distant, then its time to have a talk.
Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Rebecca, Mom to Averey Elise, age 8, my big 3rd grader!

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