Kids and temperament- nurture or nature?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Kids and temperament- nurture or nature?
13
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 11:43am

My dd is almost 11 and wow can that girl be moody! I do wonder sometimes if moods and temperament are in their natural gene makeup or is it environmental and outside influences. My dd is smart, intuitive, creative and rather abstract in thinking.


I hear that many who have two or more kids say they are night and day in personality. I wonder why that is? For those of you who have two or more, are they the same or very different in temperament. If different, do you think it is situational or outside factors or just personalities they are born with?


I started thinking about this last night as I had the good fortune to be able to talk to Mark. *Side Note: What a blessing to talk to Mark- I was so tuned out, thinking about BE's daughter who is the polar opposite of his other daughter. I was feeling pretty negative. I have to say to you all- Mark is incredibly positive and at the risk of sounding cliche- wise. Mark- I hope you know your words go a long way and further than you see. Kind of like dropping a pebble in a lake- the positive effect spreads outward further than you can see!


~Pacific~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2007
Wed, 03-26-2008 - 12:38pm

~Pacific~
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2006
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 1:11am

My 3 kids are all very different, don't really look related either. And they changed a lot as they aged. As little boys S19 was the cautious one, responsible, and diligent in his work. He was optimistic, super verbal, preferred a few close friends to being part of the popular crowd. S16 was a reckless nut, fearless, competitive, brilliant- learns effortlessly. He had tons of friends. At middle school S19 became a quiet, more introspective person, his grades began to slip, but began to really excel in sports and music. He was a magnet for bullies and he didn't complain, just suffered in silence. S16 in middle school went from social spaz, uber athletic to total nerd geek. At high school S19 suddenly became a popular kid, he just slid by with grades, only putting the effort into subjects that he found interesting and challenging- ie physics. He had a lot of friends and they all came to him (still do) for advice on their personal issues. S16 has dropped sports completely (this from a kid who ran a mile in 7 min at age 7!), gets mostly A's, has few friends IRL, is the epitome of computer geek.

D4, who knows. There is such a huge gap between she and her brothers that the whole birth order thing doesn't apply. Since she will never have had an "intact" family she has a completely different home environment than her brothers.

So I'd say children develop from both nature and nurture, or perhaps one should say environment. You can guide them and give them opportunities, but in the end, they become who they choose to become.

QueenBun

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Thu, 03-27-2008 - 1:25pm

This is a very interesting thread Pacific...


I think that it is a bit of both

Rosecolouredspecs

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