Ladies.. keep me strong!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Ladies.. keep me strong!!
36
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 6:30am

Ok, I almost didn't make a separate thread for this, but I'm afraid this could be an ongoing thing.


So, I posted about Irish and how romantic he is, my drive by kiss, our awesome birthday date, and that fact that I'm consuming his mind. Irish is Mr. Long Term Relationship.. I'm the 5th woman he's ever kissed, and he's just coming out of this 15 year relationship. AND remember on our first date he made the comment about how he may need to date around? Well.. yah reality is here.


It was a pipe dream to think that I'd actually find this great guy at this point in his life and him NOT need/want to date around lol. Anyway we talked more last night and he has dates with several women that he planned before my birthday. He said he feels like he NEEDS to date.. but he does not really want to. He says that he worries about just jumping in with me like he always does in relationships, and wants to make sure that he does it right this time. He said he wasn't even sure if he'd be able to survive these dates because I just consume his thoughts so much.


Anyway.. as much as I don't want to admit it.. he really does need to date, and I don't want to just jump in with mr. long term relationship because he's sweet and safe. It would really be way to easy to just melt into it all.


This all actually feels very honest, open, and adult. Although I did tell him I don't want to know any more about his dating around. Lol.. I can just see me now if I knew he had a date one night.. sigh! And you know me.. I'll guess anyway and send him some text msg like "close your eyes" just to sabotage LOL. I totally believe that he is doing back flips for me, but then again I totally understand his need to date. Blah it sucks!


I gotta let this guy breathe ladies, and with him being so super wonderful it'll be hard. So keep me strong!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 1:32pm
Ha well.. I was pretty determined today so I made a lunch date with a POF guy that works one exit up from me. Meh.. didn't really feel a second date coming on. Comical that we work for the same company though. I'm proud of myself for going!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2005
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 2:03pm

The best dates are the ones that you make when you're not NEEDING a date :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 3:43pm

Hi there :-)


I don't post often, but read every day.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 6:41pm

I agree with others...let him date so he can come back committed!


And I also wanted to add....I think it's great how far the positive attitudes and basically "I'm not going to settle" attitudes are taking some mommies on the board. I'm taking notes...because I intend to remember and use this when I dive into the dating world!! Thanks.


~C

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 6:48pm
I really enjoyed reading your post and am so happy that it worked out. Please continue to post here. Welcome
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Fri, 11-07-2008 - 8:10pm

Welp.. its not even one day and I have updates lol. Odd day!


- Lunch date keeps texting.. guess he enjoyed me. LOL. I dunno, I will entertain the idea. I'm so cocky though because I really don't care. He texted me back some kind of thank you for something and I responded with "YW... I'm cool like that" haha.


- Irish is just so sweet and attentive its hard to imagine that he's not all mine. We talked a few times today.. he told me I made him feel like a school boy haha. He made another comment about seeing me when he closes his eyes and such. I said yah.. you just take a little bathroom trip and close your eyes on all these dates of yours and I'll come out golden. LOL


-HC of all people msg'd me today wanting to go out and I said no. I knew I'd jsut not have a good time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 1:39am
Very strong and very adult. But yeah keep yourself forefront in his mind. Can he get picture messages? LOL!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2008
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 8:00am
That's the attitude! Keep doing what you need to do and when someone wants to step up to the plate and ask you to "go steady" (old lady term, I know), then you know that he really wants it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2008
Sat, 11-08-2008 - 6:21pm

First time poster wants to share a quote that I found and absolutely love.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Sun, 11-09-2008 - 7:55pm

Great quote!


Well Irish greatly dissapointed me this weekend. I can't fault him for his drama with him only being 3 months out from all of this. Now, last I heard he is supposed to have his children every weekend.. so I just assumed he was enjoying the day with his girls. Well, late last night I get a text that says "Wild day... fighting" I text back "Are you ok?" and I get back "I've got to sleep at the ex's tonight. Pain in my ass"


OK.. now in what freaking world do you HAVE to sleep at your ex's? See, here's the comical part with his dating around... NO OTHER WOMAN WILL TOLERATE THAT!!! Psh.. if I can tolerate THAT then hell I have no worries. Seriously though, I cannot tolerate it. However, I'm trying to figure out where my boundaries are at this point ya know? I understand the drama, its warranted at this point. Like many said though is we have to see how he's handling the drama. And spending the night? Omg.. for what reason? Is it ok for me to ask WHAT THE HELL here? lol.


Ok so the next day.. Sunday morning I get a text that he survived his night. I bit my tongue and made a joke about how I'm glad he's all in once piece. So.. a few hours later I get a text that says.. GRRR "Go check out my POF profile". So, I go and look at it and there are a bunch of new pics. Ok. GREAT. And how am I supposed to respond to this? Girls, I am biting my tongue so hard at this point. I responded back with "I think the pics look great - fave is the one with your real smile. This is weird for me commenting on your prof. pics. Kinda put me in a foul mood." So then I get a phone call.. he apologizes over and over again and realizes what he did. He said he just wanted me to see his new pics and wasn't thinking sending me to his old prof.


NEXT.... So, I say hey.. I'm heading to the grocery store are we yay or nay for tomorrow night. He said tomorrow night? We had plans? Immediatly I felt like a flipping idiot. I was like uhhh ummm yes? He said well I might have to work late. I said I know you might, thats why we discussed that you would work late friday so you could be here Monday and you would pack clothes and shower here. The whole time in between words i'm like uhh and umm. I was just baffled that he didn't remember this entire conversation! But yet he's so attentive in telling me how much i'm on his mind? Grrr. It made me feel like a total idiot. I mean here I am scrubbing my bathroom on my hands and knees. Cleaning my house to entertain him. Searching the internet to find a Vietnamese recipe to fix for him since its my fave and he's never had it. I mean.. am I stupid for wanting to do something nice and have a nice night? Do I expect to much here?


Oh yah and a few hours later I get a text saying "omg now i remember! heck yah i'll be there tomorrow!!!" Umm.. ok?


Thats really it.. I'm sitting here asking myself.. do I just expect to much to soon? Irish is not a player or a liar.. clueless is more the word to describe him. And I can't quite put my finger on whats going on with the ex. I mean I hear stories and it seems like he's on top of things but then something stupid happens and I'm like omg.. she RULES you!


Its still soon.. I'm not wanting to walk away. I'm just trying to figure out where are my boundaries here without turning into mega-B.