Last nights date #2
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Last nights date #2
| Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:16am |
Alright, flowers did not arrive at my desk which was a good sign. I would have been so embarrassed and definitely ditched him. The night before he called to tell me if I like being romantic or having someone romantic and when he asked about when I was going to be in the office. I assumed, because it's happened that way in the past. Anyway, he called my office instead because he wanted to hear my voice. That is why he wanted to know if I was going to be around during lunch time.
He picked me up last night and as always was the perfect southern gentleman. Took me to a fabulous steak house and we just sat and talked forever. I wanted to be home early, but then I didn't want to go because our conversation was going so well. So we decided to go to one other place for a drink and talk some more.
We finally got around to having "the dating discussion". That was nerve wracking for me. I had to tell him that I'm still planning on dating other people and that I do not have plans to change that right now. The conversation went endless and with him telling me he isn't going to be seeing anyone else. I said that is his choice, but that he's allowed to see whomever he wants, because I am not ready to be exclusive. He was a little silent and I just went further to explain that I really have relationship issues and I need some time to just chill and take things very slowly and not feel pressured. If I feel I am in a relationship, I freeze, freak, become destructive. I am so terrified of ever being hurt again that I rather just do what ever it takes to drive that person away. With XF it was different. He was the first person that really made me want to work us out. It was also the relationship with him that made me realize what I've been doing all along and to learn to not do that. However, it's easier said then done. I totally over analyze, think, become irrate and worried. It's so stressful for me to be in a relationship because I am just waiting for the person to ditch me. With my XF I made the right choice. With the last person I made the right choice. I want to continue to make the right choice, I just have to take things very slowly. Maybe J was right when he said I have intimate issues, but at least I know I do have some and i want to work on getting rid of the demons. Time will tell. I have a feeling that the real baby steps and really taking it slow process will help me through this. Anything else will only be a catastrophe. Soo, I was open and honest with M about it all. He hasn't run off yet. When he took me home, he asked if he could kiss me good night. When he did the sparks flew. It was just a simple but awesome kiss. I was so stunned that he asked me a question and I couldn't answer; I don't even know what it was. I, catherine, for the first time was completely speechless. I was so in the stars that I turned around and walked away without a word. LOL.
When I got home, he left a text that said: Wow!
So date two was really great but I felt like we clarified a lot.
He picked me up last night and as always was the perfect southern gentleman. Took me to a fabulous steak house and we just sat and talked forever. I wanted to be home early, but then I didn't want to go because our conversation was going so well. So we decided to go to one other place for a drink and talk some more.
We finally got around to having "the dating discussion". That was nerve wracking for me. I had to tell him that I'm still planning on dating other people and that I do not have plans to change that right now. The conversation went endless and with him telling me he isn't going to be seeing anyone else. I said that is his choice, but that he's allowed to see whomever he wants, because I am not ready to be exclusive. He was a little silent and I just went further to explain that I really have relationship issues and I need some time to just chill and take things very slowly and not feel pressured. If I feel I am in a relationship, I freeze, freak, become destructive. I am so terrified of ever being hurt again that I rather just do what ever it takes to drive that person away. With XF it was different. He was the first person that really made me want to work us out. It was also the relationship with him that made me realize what I've been doing all along and to learn to not do that. However, it's easier said then done. I totally over analyze, think, become irrate and worried. It's so stressful for me to be in a relationship because I am just waiting for the person to ditch me. With my XF I made the right choice. With the last person I made the right choice. I want to continue to make the right choice, I just have to take things very slowly. Maybe J was right when he said I have intimate issues, but at least I know I do have some and i want to work on getting rid of the demons. Time will tell. I have a feeling that the real baby steps and really taking it slow process will help me through this. Anything else will only be a catastrophe. Soo, I was open and honest with M about it all. He hasn't run off yet. When he took me home, he asked if he could kiss me good night. When he did the sparks flew. It was just a simple but awesome kiss. I was so stunned that he asked me a question and I couldn't answer; I don't even know what it was. I, catherine, for the first time was completely speechless. I was so in the stars that I turned around and walked away without a word. LOL.
When I got home, he left a text that said: Wow!
So date two was really great but I felt like we clarified a lot.

EXCELLENT! I am laughing at your kiss.
"I have a feeling that the real baby steps and really taking it slow process will help me through this."
BINGO - I think the slow steps will keep you reassured. And it will make him work and put meaning to it.
Keep us posted - glad to hear that you didn't have flowers to freak you out.
I think we do have to trust our judgement that we can pick a stable one who is into us and then trust him. (okay and I am telling that to myself, too!)
Whoa! That is awesome that the sparks flew when y'all kissed! That's a VERY good sign. I'm glad too that you got to tell him how you are and what you are going to be doing, as far as dating other people and taking things slow, across to him. It's better to get it out in the open right at first so that he will know where you are coming from.
This sounds like it has good potential, but like you said, I would take it slow and get to know one another. You're doing good girl! :)
Jennifer