The last straw!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
The last straw!!!
15
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 7:02pm

Dylan has had a rash on the torso of his body now off and on for about a month. I've given him Benadryl and it's helped, but yesterday took him to the pediatrician for a final diagnosis. She diagnosed him with Eczema and a little Impetigo from scratching. He's on an antiboitic and an anit-itch and a steriod cream. Should clear it up by the end of the weekend. He was supposed to go to his father's this weekend, but I have chosen to keep him home because his father, his wife and her two kids have Scabies. Labor Day weekend, Scott's nephews were there with his mother and the oldest on had it and no one knew that's what he had. So he's all over the house spreading his infection. Dylan was there too.

So far, nothing has showed up on Shane or me, but Scott and his wife DO have it. Shane and I are not scratching at all. No signs of rash or anything. We feel Dylan was the lucky one and did not get it.

This could have been prevented months ago. Scott's mother found out her grandson had the disease and never told any of us he had it so we could take steps to treat it in our homes. I'm furious! She has NO excuses for this. None. And I made sure she knows it. I forbid her from having my son over there with the nephews and if I hear they were there while Dylan was visiting, I'll remove him permanently from her home.

Scott is adamant Dylan has it and thinks he knows better than our doctors. He even wanted me to give him permission to stop Dylan's current meds so he could give Dylan their meds that were not even prescribed for him. NOT! My doctor said ABSOLUTELY NOT! Plus, that cream would fiercely interact with Dylan's stuff. It's still going to be in his system. SO now he has to miss a visit.

Also with me being pregnant, I'm afraid that if it turned out to be scabies, I could get it or already have it and not know it and how can I be treated??? I spoke to a dermatologist today that said they feel like DYlan's condition is axactly what his pediatrician said. Eczema. Nothing more. But we'll see how things go.

I'm so furious with Scott's mother. She had NO right to keep this from us. Now we are all scrambling to make sure we aren't infected when it could have been handled months ago.

The nerve of her!

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 5:17pm

It's amazing how some people can be. She is in denial that her son cheated on me. When she knows her own ex husband did and her oldest son does it still! It's just a family thing I guess and she's so blinded by the fact that her baby son was an overachiever that he could never do something so disgusting.

Clueless!

But she has also blamed me for things, accused me of faking illness, put me in horrible situations and disrespected my ex many times while he was married to me. He's realized this and is finally saying to her that he's sick of it and now she's playing the victim as if she did nothing wrong. If she's the "scapegoat" it's because she deserves it.

I don't think that my son not going there is punishing him at all and just like you, I keep the contact to a minimum. She allows Dylan to do things I don't allow and it's blatantly done to spite me. She thinks she will get away with it and she's wrong because NOW Dylan is old enough to tell me what he did over there and I know it ALL! I'd never take him to a PG-13 movie. But she did. How ignorant! Dylan has no idea what that movie meant and luckily, there was no sexual situations in it that I'm aware of (Catwoman) but Halle Berry scanting around in a latex body suit that barely covered her hoo ha's was enough to keep me from taking him to see it.

This is how she is. Deliberately doing wrong things to see if she can. This is all remembered and luckily, I can keep her from him because inthe divorece decree, it states that his father has visitation and that's all. It says nothing about grandparents. So those visits are at our discretion.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Fri, 01-14-2005 - 7:03pm

Mel,

I just had a thought and wanted to comment.

I know you are upset about the XMIL and her antics. And this is upsetting. But be careful you are not experiencing a storm of the divorce (sudden rush of bad memories and hurt feelings and anger) over the memories of what you have been through. I think that is a common reaction.

But be careful you are not getting yourself too worked up and upset over what you went through versus what is going on now.

You are okay now. You have met Shane and he is so wonderful as a person and as your hubbie. Dylan is with you most of the time and he is okay. The exh is paying child support and not in your face too much. And a wonderful Emily is on the way. Remember - you cannot change her or the xh - only yourself and how you react.

Keep Dylan home and try not to let this ruin your weekend.

Let the poop float down the river.

I am sorry you have to go through all of this.

HUGS

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Sat, 01-15-2005 - 9:52am

Thanks for the word of caution. Honestly, Judy, the feelings I have ARE because of what's happened beyond the divorce. She's never respected me, she doesn't hardly ever ask for Dylan to come visit, and I've told her that if she ever wants to see him, call me and I'd make arrangements if we didn't already have plans. I've never neglected her the opportunity. She has just refused to do it. Her older grandkids are her priority. The oldest plays baseball and he is really great at it and she neglects my son who is only 5 and just beginning tee ball and karate on his birthday to go to her other grandkid's games. It was his BIRTHDAY and she declined because the others had games. She goes to all their games and never tries to make one of Dylan's. I know we live an hour away, but when it's your grandchildren, you make an effort. My family made it to at least half of D's games because they wanted to be there.

She's also used her monetary influence on her other XDIL who is the mother of these two older boys to trap her into kissing her butt. My XSIL is not financially stable and hasn't been pretty much ever. XMIL pays for everything those boys are in and although that is very nice of her, she uses it as a tool to keep XSIL loyal. So when I was mad at XMIL about the scabies deal, XSIL emails me and and gripes me out over it and said I was attacking XMIL when all I did was tell her how I felt and was quite civilized considering how angry I was. XSIL and I had managed to work it out, but XMIL tried to make us hate each other and that's just cruel. She's the eternal victim...everyone knows it.

I wish I could say I was just reacting from how she was during my past, but she's continued to be a nuisance in the present. I hate how she's ignored my child for the others. But I guess she'll never change.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
In reply to: lissa91
Sat, 01-15-2005 - 12:08pm

I agree with everything you are saying. BUT she will NEVER change.

I just don't want to see you become bitter or stressed over her or carry that into your marriage now. It is all such a bad energy - you should stay away from them.

I think you should have a policy of no contact with her unless she contacts you. Pretty soon she will start to miss you and Dylan and then she will be a little nicer.

People like her only get worse the more you do and say.

That is just my opinion, though. In the 4 years I have been divorced I have only seen/spoken to my XMIL ONCE - and that was because she came down here for my ds's first communion. I have a piece of paper in the drawer that ensures I don't ever have to deal with her again!! And I rather like it that way!! She was also a big cause of my divorce - but that is a long story.




Edited 1/15/2005 12:24 pm ET ET by west1745
Avatar for cl_beckty
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
In reply to: lissa91
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 10:15am

YEAH!!!! You go! I am VERY impressed with your letter to your EX MIL.


Would that I could do the same. As of a week ago, my MIL is no longer allowed to speak to Tyler unsupervised. I let her know and I believe J will back me up. She's also a manipulative liar and says harmful INCORRECT things to my son. (her reasons for doing so are different, but the end result is just as harmful)


Our kids definitely need protection from harmful predatory adults (predatory in the emotional sense)

Becky

Becky

 

 

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