Late AGAIN with Child Support

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Late AGAIN with Child Support
41
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 10:11am
Why do I bother to depend on him? How can I trust he will do right by his son? He gets paid on the 15th and that would be the time to write the check and send it on. Now I know it's not due til the 25th, but what's the harm in sending it with the bills they send off on the 15th? Is Dylan not worthy of getting his money early? Why should he HAVE to wait til the 25th (or after) to get what he's entitled to? Especially when XH doesn't get paid again til the 1st, so it's not like they are waiting for anything else to come in before they can send Dylan's money.

XH called this morning telling me he had to wait til the 25th to send it because he had to get a plumber out to his house. Now I understand that there are unexpected circumstances. I have them too. This month is particularly bad. But we depend on that money for Dylan and to help out with things. We have 20 bucks right now and have to buy food this weekend.

Shane is hoping he gets this bonus check today his boss keeps "forgetting" to give him, but I doubt he'll get it and he sure won't ask for it. I cried my eyes out last night because I'm almost out of gas in the car and we need to get food all on 20 bucks. I can go to his work and he can fill the car up for free, but it all depends on if he has time to leave for a few minutes to do it.

Poor Dylan has been begging for a new Gameboy game and I promised his money would be here soon and we'd get him one. He's been asking when the money would be here and I figured by this weekend at the latest I'd see it. But now I have to break his heart and tell him we can't get it. How can his father be so hard hearted?

I can't exactly tell XH that we're flat broke. He'll use that against me. But 20 dollars is not going to feed us until next Friday when we should expect the money to arrive. If Shane doesn't get his bonus today, we're not going to make it.

Shane tells me it's going to be okay. And when he says this, it always ends up being okay. He said he's not worried at all. I guess if we have to, we'll eat Ramen noodles and sandwiches. I've been there. I don't mind. It's cheap and not too bad. I love tuna fish and bread is always on sale at our market. We still have plenty of lunch meat for the boys to take in their lunches and I can get some milk and juice. I just have to be careful.

The worst part is how my mom will call can she hears the sadness in my voice and I can't tell her what's happened. They will try to get together some money for us and they can't afford it.

XH is a deadbeat. I'm so tired of depending on him to do the right thing. It's HIS son too and he acts like it's fine to make that baby wait for the things he needs. Not only does he consistently send money late, but he PROMISED he'd buy some school clothes/supplies for Dylan to help us out. He didn't. Last Winter, he promised he'd buy D a new winter coat. He didn't. Shane took him up to a very nice western store and bought him a denim Carhardt coat. Very nice coat. We weren't even living together then. It was just a thoughtful gesture from a man that loves my son. XH never even acknowledged it. He acted like it was Shane's job to do that. And that's kind of lame considering there was no promise of a future between Shane and me at that point.

I know Shane and I should be more careful with our spending and other than the pawn thing, we have been. We haven't bought anything or gone anywhere except to Ft. Worth to see our nephew be born. Oh and we got Dylan's school supplies and shoes, but those were necessary. And on sale. We paid the bills we could, we bought food, and nothing else. Dylan had a dental appointment that cost us a fortune until the insurance company pays us back and again, that was unavoidable. It's just been a rought month and this of all times is not the time to be late with the only thing that will help feed his son.

I'm done worrying. I can't take it anymore.

Mel

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Tue, 08-24-2004 - 4:23pm
Oh my mom will never know if we're strapped. It's hard not to say something when she keeps bugging me about what's wrong because she hears in my voice that I'm sad, but I can keep it to myself. I wouldn't even have to bother with her questions, but she calls all the time and if I don't return her calls, she keeps calling until she gets me and leaves frantic messages worrying about why i'm not answering the phone. She doesn't seem to realize that if you're not in the mood to talk, you leave the phone alone.

MOMS!

Anyway, Shane and I are fine. He got his bonus check and we're back on track to pay some bills we put off and buy our groceries and the child support is here on Friday and Shane gets paid again on the 1st. So we're good now.

I know that I'm lucky to get the support, and I do appreciate it, but at the same time, as much as he claims to adore his son, X seems to just do the bare minimum and that's not characteristic of a man that truly adores his child. If he's just doing that to spite me, it's pathetic. Dylan is who counts. He can help me and not give a crap about me. It's abot Dylan and his needs. Leave personal feelings out of it. I feel like his wife is having an opinion about that too. She was more than ready to get rid of Dylan when he was there for the summer. I think she puts restrictions on Dylan's time with his father and the things he does for him. It's sad if he allows that. His father did that to him and I figured as much as Scott resents his father's negligence that he'd rise above that and be a better man. Apparently the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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